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Ew Ew EW EWW!!!

(113 Posts)
fluffyanimal Tue 19-Jul-11 09:00:34

Last night I had a really weird dream about having an endoscopy (i have never had one in real life). It was quite vivid, I could feel the scope going down my throat which was a bit unpleasant but bearable. Then the doctors left me alone and I started to gag and try to bring up the tube.

Then I woke up and I still had the feeling of having a foreign body in my throat. I drank some water but it didn't really go away. it felt like when you accidentally swallow something that you haven't chewed properly.

AIBU to think I've probably swallowed a spider in my sleep? <boak>

RevoltingPeasant Sun 24-Jul-11 22:43:45

ABF urgh urgh urgh

My 3rd sister got married in a very rural area of the States and when we went over for the wedding, some of her friends who were away allowed us to housesit their empty, handmade log cabin in the woods so we didn't crowd up her apartment.

Except.... they hadn't filled in any of the cracks between the logs. So the place was FULL, and I mean FULL of earwigs.

They had a special DustBuster just to vac them up. It had a clear bulb which was seething with live ones that'd been vac'd up.

They crawled on the bedsheets and dropped from the ceiling onto your face after dark.

They were in the cereal packets and clinging to the bathtowels.

On the wedding morning, I was leaning over the sink putting in my contacts when the edge of the sink pinched into the delicate skin right above minge level. Except - you guessed it - when I pulled back that pinching feeling was still there, and any enormous bloody earwig was clinging to my naked muff pincing it!

I have never been so glad to get back to civilisation the UK.

LunaticFringe Sun 24-Jul-11 22:39:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmazingBouncingFerret Sun 24-Jul-11 22:30:31

I've not really been in my house very long, a few months. There is an extraordinary amount of earwigs in my garden and I have not one but two unpleasant experiences.

1st one was when we decided to eat our dinner outside on the patio. DD's highchair had been out all night, it hadnt rained so we just gave it a quick wipe over and plonked her in it. Her highchair is moulded plastic with a foamy type liner that is removable. After we'd eaten our dinner I took her out and moved the liner, underneath were about 20 earwigs I think I must of shrieked for a good ten minutes and couldnt stop shuddering for the rest of the night.

2nd horrible experience was last week. I've on occasion found the odd earwig in the house. It was mid morning and I decided my hair needed washing, leant over completely clean and empty bath and started to wet my hair with shower. An earwig came out of my hair!

I havent stopped shuddering from that one... sad

hellymelly Sun 24-Jul-11 22:30:21

We lived on an old wooden boat and there were a lot of slugs in the bilge.Once while I was cooking,a massive slug actually tried to get into the pan to eat the food!!! I was frying aubergines too....very lucky escape.
Last year my sil was visiting (we are in a house now) and I made her tea.When I picked up her mug off the table to wash it up I saw something at the bottom...She had seen it but been too polite to ask what it was.It was boiled slug.Must have been in the tap when I filled the kettle.

TheBolter Sun 24-Jul-11 22:23:47

When dh and I were in our old house, pre-dcs, we had a slug infestation. the buggers were all over our kitchen particularly in the mornings - in cupboards, cereal packets, the dishwasher even... Anyway, we hadn't taken the lid off the kettle for ages, being lazy arses we used to fill it via the spout. I expect you know where this is going... one evening dh took the lid off the kettle to fill it, and there was a boiled-many-times-over slug. shock

It did explain the film we used to get on our cups of tea...

DouglasPouch Sun 24-Jul-11 22:23:01

Ohh Norman, you have reminded me about our spider incident. When ds was a tiny he had one of those zip up suits for over his babygrow I unzipped it one morning and a huge spider ran out of!

NormanTebbit Sun 24-Jul-11 22:20:39

And friends in SA found two snails in their DS's nappy

DouglasPouch Sun 24-Jul-11 22:19:42

Not creepy crawly but all this talk of inhalers has reminded of a thread of here years back.

A woman had taken her inhaler and then suffered with numerous infections and strange coughing fits.

Turns out she had inhaled a bit of cadbury creme egg foil which had been wedged into her inhaler, it had been stuck to her insides for months. shock

NormanTebbit Sun 24-Jul-11 22:18:52

When I was a teenager I was an avid reader of J17 and face steaming was all the rage - gets rid of acne don'cha know (yeah,right hmm)

Anyway I got out the bath, ran a sink of hot water and pulled a towel off the rail and put it over my head. There was an odd sensation of tickly, spiky prods going up my back was a giant spider, I flicked it over my head and into the sink where it cooked in the hot water in front of me. Fucking J17 hmm

Ooh it's almost spider season, isn't it

HauntedLittleLunatic Sun 24-Jul-11 22:12:38

I can remember a few years ago dreaming that I had been decapitated and I was trying to put my head back on. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get it on straight.

Dream seemed to go on forever. When I woke I had the most immense sore throat ever....that kind of freaked me out and didn't even involve creepy crawlies.

tethersend Sun 24-Jul-11 22:11:08

She never found out, Stealth confused

StealthPolarBear Sun 24-Jul-11 22:07:40

what was itr?

CocoPopsAddict Sun 24-Jul-11 22:06:44

Oh my god, you are all horrible. I keep feeling my hair tickling me and keep having to check it's not a spider. Bloody hell.

Ok, one time my sister and I were staying in a hotel and I woke up at night, switched lamp on and saw a massive spider on the ceiling. Couldn't sleep and had to make my sister get it down. We were in another country so we hoped it wasn't poisonous! Only way she could do it was by throwing a towel to knock it down as the ceiling was so high.

When she went to check the towel, the spider was rolling around on its back like a woodlouse turned the wrong way up, waving all its legs around.

Christ, I feel sick thinking of it.

tethersend Sun 24-Jul-11 21:59:30

Not me, but an ex colleague. Stlll makes me shudder...

One night, she woke up thirsty and took a massive swig from the glass of water by her bed. She says she felt it unfurl in her mouth.

She pulled it out of her mouth and flung it against the wall. It made a thud.

I keep a bottle of water with a lid on by my bed now.


youarekidding Sun 24-Jul-11 21:54:34

Urrrggghhhh. That is my worst nightmare and I'm sure I'll have them again tonight.

Seems though its is possible to swallow a spider.

<makes mental note to sleep on front, mouth tight shut, and closed bottle of water>

babybarrister Sun 24-Jul-11 21:52:00

I once bought a massive whole brie from France for Xmas and left it out in the utility room so it would be "room temperature" - fuck the thing was literally alive with white maggots when I cut a piece off .... boak

glitterkitty Sun 24-Jul-11 21:35:32

I was sitting upstairs on a really bloody hot bus and felt my hair rickling my neck, went to brush it away ind it was a massive cricket CLINGING TO MY SWEATY NECK shock i did awful spasmy neck scraping dance that probably amused a few ppl.

I have had the earwig in inhaler before too, but luckily had tapped it and it fell out.

And one eve I was cleaning my teeth- I drank from the tap and swished, and spat out a load of silverfish BOAK BOAK BOAK

Chocolateporridge Sun 24-Jul-11 21:17:51

One night in a very run down Edinburgh B&B I had my DH searching high and low for a HUMUNGOUS spider that ran past the bed when i was about to get in. He tried valiantly to find it but gave up in the end and I had a fitfull sleep until he went to the loo in the night and freaked out when he realised he'd been in bed with a large squashed spider stuck to the sole of his foot

boak wink

Oh my fucking God. I am going to sew shut my own mouth, which will have the added benefit of helping me to lose weight.

< faints>

catinboots Fri 22-Jul-11 18:28:43

I had a mouse run up my trouser leg once. I shit you not.

And I am not a cartoon character. I am a real person.

Maat Fri 22-Jul-11 18:22:20

I am going to find a wedding veil to wear when I am asleep.

mandalee Fri 22-Jul-11 18:12:49

ShirleyKnot - just saw this thread on the roundup (congrats you lot, BTW, for having THE most revolting thread on MN this week!) Had to tell you that my husband had the EXACT same thing happen to him with an earwig in his inhaler!! The little fuckers shits insects must have a thing for the inhaler powder...

And in case you're wondering, he hasn't gotten over it yet either. You have my commiserations.

hairfullofsnakes Wed 20-Jul-11 08:35:08

Brainhurts... That is one of the scariest things I have ever read. I am
Taping my mouth shut before bed

I feel quite sick!

fluffyanimal Wed 20-Jul-11 08:26:04

BootyMum LOL no, it wasn't DH as I'm quite sure I'd worn him out before going to bed blush

bottleofwineandastrawplease Tue 19-Jul-11 20:48:05

Haven't finished reading the whole of the thread yet, but when my DS was about 9mths he ate a spider.

He was crawling across the living room, spider ran past, as it did so he picked it up and popped it in his mouth, and then carried on crawling along on his merry way.

Didn't seem bothered and I presume that he ate the damn thing as I didn't see him spit it out.

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