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Wish former friend would just disappear

(19 Posts)
Familyguyfan Mon 18-Jul-11 16:10:10

I don't really know why I'm posting, I suppose I just want to hear what people have to say to see if I'm being unreasonable.

I've been friends with a guy I went to university with for over a decade. We were friends in a large group but studied the same thing so became reasonably close friends. We now do very similar jobs in the same field. He finished his qualifications about 6 months before me and got a temporary job immediately, as did I when I finished.

Over the years we've both had temporary jobs but I got made permanent a little while ago. I didn't mention it to him as I thought he might get a bit upset. Over the years he has been quite dismissive of both my personal and professional highlights but I have overlooked these as I didn't want to cause problems.

Anyway, I eventually casually mentioned that I'd been made permanent and while he wasn't rude, he wasn't very happy. Anyway, he began a Facebook topic on a particular political topic, and I contributed. I don't usually as I don't discuss my politics, but he'd been quite offensive and so I tried (in a really nice way) to highlight how offensive he was being. He started to hurl insults around, so I tried to stay calm and not engage, but he finally got bored and blocked me as a friend on Facebook.

I am not a pushover and certainly know how to defend myself, but I was quite upset about this. He has been really quite horrid on occasion over the years and I have ignored it as he was a friend, but then he throws a temper tantrum and de-friends me. Anyway, I concluded he wasn't worth the trouble and got on with my life.

Over the weekend I was discussing something with a friend on Facebook (on her wall) and he started chipping in, being rather insulting again. My other friend just stopped the conversation as I guess she doesn't want to get involved. I don't want her involved either. We're adults, and if he's decided he doesn't want to know me, fine, but why keep at me.

I know he really wasn't a good friend, but I just wish he would leave me alone. I've never been rude to him, never insulted him and honestly would never have believed he would be so childish over a political debate. I don't know what I hope people would say, but I can put hand on heart and say I don't deserve this. It's making me a bit upset that someone dislikes me so much after so many years of friendship.

Sorry for the essay!

DELHI Mon 18-Jul-11 16:12:29

ignore him and he will go away. Just don't engage, don't reply, just blank him and get on with your life. Not difficult really

GlitterySkulls Mon 18-Jul-11 16:14:16

he's a twat. just ignore him, he's not worth it. smile

you're upset, because a "friend" has turned on you, but really, he's not a friend at all, is he?

better off without him !!!

Blurry29 Mon 18-Jul-11 16:15:22

have you blocked him??

Something similar happened to me a while ago, my ex friend and I blocked each other so even if we had mutual friends we could not see any commetns etc

good luck smile

microfight Mon 18-Jul-11 16:15:27

block him on facebook too then he won't see your posts and therefore can't insult you

CurlyhairedAssassin Mon 18-Jul-11 16:16:16

Just delete your Facebook account. Dh doesn't have one and just communicates with his friends via email. Facebook is not an essential part of life like some people seem to think. I could delete my account today and wouldnt miss it cos the friends who I want to keep in touch with have my email address".

tulpe Mon 18-Jul-11 16:16:57

report his posts to FB and ask for them to block him. I had to do this with a psycho an estranged relative. It means they can't see any posts you make and vice versa - regardless of on whose "wall" you post.

SenoritaViva Mon 18-Jul-11 16:20:04

Block him on Facebook. This means that if you post something on a mutual friend's wall he will not see the post at all.

As DELHI said though simply do NOT engage in any way with this person.

jeckadeck Mon 18-Jul-11 16:21:08

he sounds like a prick. Block him and if he doesn't stop then report him. You certainly shouldn't feel any responsibility towards him.

Familyguyfan Mon 18-Jul-11 16:35:49

Thanks everyone. I will definitely block him on Facebook. I don't know why I didn't think to do this before. I could delete my Facebook I suppose but I don't want to be driven off it by him, especially as I like communicating with my friends on it and being a bit nosey! You're all right, he's being an arse and I need to not be so sensitive. Thanks all!

FabbyChic Mon 18-Jul-11 16:37:33

If you were blocked you would not be able to see his posts anywhere on FB so he has not blocked you at all.

Familyguyfan Mon 18-Jul-11 16:48:46

I've blocked him now so peace should be restored. Fabbychic makes an interesting point though. Clearly he hadn't blocked me so didn't want to be friends, but wanted to be available to insult me at will. Nice!

Familyguyfan Mon 18-Jul-11 16:54:02

Sorry Fabbychic, he de-friended me, not blocked me.

Animation Mon 18-Jul-11 19:24:05

I suspect he fancies you - seriously.

SugarPasteFrog Mon 18-Jul-11 20:14:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Familyguyfan Mon 18-Jul-11 22:13:28

Animation, we're both married and he's known my husband even longer than me, so I really hope not!

Jealousy did cross my mind, not because I'm any great shakes but he seems to have gotten worse as my career has taken off. I think he preferred me when he could convince himself I was stupid. Maybe my promotion tipped him over the edge!

SugarPasteFrog Tue 19-Jul-11 20:07:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OK, block him and adjust your FB settings so that 'friends of friends' can't see anything you post. Then put the silly sod out of your mind and enjoy your life.

Familyguyfan Tue 19-Jul-11 20:39:09

Frog and chicken (it's like a farm here!), I've blocked him and my privacy settings means he's gone as far as I can see! Happy days.

Frog, I think you're absolutely right, but you know how it is? I think I felt guilty that I was just a bit luckier than he was so totally underplayed anything which might upset him and stopped telling him about good things that had happened. When I told him I was getting married, he criticised the date we'd picked rather than offer congratulations.

Honestly, I must need my head read for sticking with him and bring friends for so long! Thanks everyone for your support. I've got a bit of perspective now and feel much better. Think I'll stick to my real friends in future.

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