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to not carry my DD aged 5?

(20 Posts)
lifeinthemidlands Mon 18-Jul-11 15:18:21

Was out for the day with a friend and her DD (6) and my two DDs (3 and 5). There was nothing too taxing - a trip to a park and shortish walk. Ayway on the way home her DD asked to be carried, which she did. My older DD (who was running along happily until then) then asked me to carry her, and I said no - to be quite honest I don't think I could. She's quite tall and I'm quite small - I sometimes give her a piggy back but it's more for fun than anything. My friend looked surprised and said she often carried her DD when she said she was tired - it was obviously a huge struggle for her as she's also quite big for her age (and has no health issues). She implied I was a bit mean making my DD walk when she asked to be carried. It certainly wasn't a particularly arduous trip, and my 3 year old was managing fine. It isn't normal to carry a child of this age unless they have a problem, is it, or am I just mean (and wimpy)?

Sirzy Mon 18-Jul-11 15:19:56

Unless they were injured or unwell I wouldn't!

lifeinthemidlands Mon 18-Jul-11 15:25:29

~Thanks - I'd obviously carry for a reason like that, but not just because they ask!

CurrySpice Mon 18-Jul-11 15:27:31

No bloody way AYBU!! shock

Carrying a 6yo?! Not on your fucking nelly!

SenoritaViva Mon 18-Jul-11 15:27:53

I wouldn't either, I have a small 4 year old and still can't carry her as my back is dodgy. She never asks to be carried by me but often does to DH because he's a mug she knows he'll carry her.

thursday Mon 18-Jul-11 15:30:41

god no, i can't carry my almost 2yr old DD more than about 5 metres! 4.5yr old ds gets shoulder carry from dh sometimes, but i couldnt. he'd just have to whinge.

GrimmaTheNome Mon 18-Jul-11 15:30:42


By that age, non-SN children can climb mountains.

LaWeasel Mon 18-Jul-11 15:31:29

No way!

I am doing the heart of stone "No I won't carry you" with my 2yo atm. My joints can be quite bad at times, and I'm pregnant - it's just not happening.

Roo83 Mon 18-Jul-11 15:32:34

I wouldn't carry ds (he's only 3) unless there was some special reason. Most times if he says he's tired he can easily be distracted and then walks for obv.not that tired at all! If he was an only child I probably would carry him more but with a younger dc too it's not possible

lifeinthemidlands Mon 18-Jul-11 15:34:21

Oh good. My friend looked even more horrified when I said I only carried the 3 year old very occasionally and with good reason.

BlueFergie Mon 18-Jul-11 15:36:18

No way. My DD is 4.5 and would be carried everywhere if you let her away with it. Had to put my foot down with the buggy when she turned 4, just got rid of the extension bit and told her it was just for her brother then, she still trys to sneak in anytime he gets out. As for carrying she doesn't even waste her breath asking me anymore although DH will do it occassionnally.

messymammy Mon 18-Jul-11 15:36:59

I'd carry dd from the sitting room next door to bed if she fell asleep on the couch watching telly the x factor with me but that's about it!When does your friend intend to stop carrying her dd when she asks, because I'd bloody love to becarried around but I don't think my Mum would anymore...... sad !

SpecialFriedRice Mon 18-Jul-11 15:40:55


I won't even carry my 3yo DD unless I know she totally exhausted (from a long walk or something), and even then its just for 2-3 min to give her legs a rest.

I can guarantee I won't be carrying her at all at 5/6 barring injury.

lifeinthemidlands Mon 18-Jul-11 16:13:54

Thanks all. We have very different styles of parenting and she commonly lets me know she considers my approach harsh. Sometimes I think maybe she has a point (although I do think sometimes she lets her DD get away with murder) but I was pretty sure I was the normal one here - her incredulity made me doubt myself though.

LimburgseVlaai Mon 18-Jul-11 16:20:57

Only slebs carry their 4+ year olds - as an accessory, you understand, and only when the paps are watching. Otherwise they get the nanny to do it.

cornflakegirl Mon 18-Jul-11 16:45:55

DS1 (6) asks to be carried sometimes - I think because he's a bit jealous of DS2 (nearly 2). If it's convenient then I will for a bit - not long, because he's heavy. But I definitely wouldn't do it once it became uncomfortable - or if I just didn't feel like it. It's just to be nice, or for a bit of fun, not a necessity.

Semira Wed 27-Jul-11 20:58:19

My dd is 4.5 and after a long play at the park and when we're almost at the car/home, I do pick her up if she's tired. I don't find it too difficult, but then she isn't a bulky child plus I have good hips (lol). I do it out of fun and closeness and always put her down if it gets too much.

EdithWeston Wed 27-Jul-11 21:06:55

I carried mine - lots! And used to do two at a time (never quite managed all three). Not because of tiredness; we just liked it.

And I really did enjoy doing it. All were/are good walkers as well. And it's a source of sadness that even the little one is now nearly too big.

But I wouldn't expect many people to want to do as I did.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Wed 27-Jul-11 21:12:59

I threw away all buggies when my youngest got to 3 and they walked. No carries.

Can't imagine carrying two children around for the fun of it.......each to their own I suppose.

Ivortheengine8 Wed 27-Jul-11 21:15:57

No YANBU, I find it difficult enough carrying my 21 month old! I just make her walk until her legs are falling off (she does walk quite a bit though bless her and is usually very tired to be asked to be picked up) But I certainly won't be carrying her when she is 5!

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