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To ignore my friend and give her baby a bottle?

(52 Posts)
MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 09:15:14

It's not a bad as it sounds.....basically my friends baby is 1 and Im looking after her....friends at work on the other side of th country she stays over there.

Baby's Dad was meant to drop her athe minder this morning but yesterday the baby had Diarreah.....and so minder won't have her.

My mate rang me from work yesterday night and asked me to look after baby whilst Dad is in work Dad dropped her here at 7.30 and my mate is on the train home...she will get her about 1.00pm.

Baby slept badly last night according to her Dad and is vry tired and her food etc but no sign of messy nappies.

My 3 year old kindly got her one of her old bottles out of the cupboard hmm and now baby is crying for milk in a mate gives her 4oz a day and solids so she has not brought a bottle of milk with her as she has it in the evening. I can't get thrugh to Mum or Dad and I just want to give her some milk ...she would probably sleep then....and be comforted.

I have looked after her before but is it wrong to give milk? My mate is pretty full-on about her diet...she always comes with a little bag of the "correct snacks" Bt I know she's had cows mlk in the past

AnyFucker Mon 18-Jul-11 09:16:38

why don't you contact your friend or the baby's dad and just ask ?

throckenholt Mon 18-Jul-11 09:18:11

or give her water in the bottle and see if that settles her.

HoneyPablo Mon 18-Jul-11 09:19:40

I would avoid milk if the baby has had an upset stomach. Some toast and a drink of water is probably a safer bet.

fgaaagh Mon 18-Jul-11 09:21:01

Have you been asked not to bottle feed, specifically? I assume she didn't leave any stuff to facilitate this?

There's no WAY I would give a bottle without checking with baby's parents. especially since you've said that her routine is for milk at night plus solids.

"now baby is crying for milk in a bottle" - I'm sorry but you don't know that for sure. "I just want to give her some milk ...she would probably sleep then....and be comforted" - again, you don't know this.

"but is it wrong to give milk" - yes, YABU.

The parents of this baby seem to not want their child to drink bottled milk just now yet you seem to think you know best.

Either comply with what their wishes appear to be (and obviously only you know the full story - perhaps your friend has made comments about bottled milk being fine but baby doesn't drink it much, for all we know)... or do not agree to care for him/her.


Check with parents first before giving it, IMHO.

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 09:21:11

AF they're not picking up their phones....she's on a traiin and hes at work...he would probably look like this confused if I asked hm anyway!

bubblesincoffee Mon 18-Jul-11 09:22:10

I'd give her formula, and if you really really can't go out for some, give her some milk.

If they are prepared to trust you with their child for long days while thay are unobtainable, then they have to trust your judgement. They would be incredibly wrong to moan about you giving the baby milk in these circumstances, and if they did, they need to prioritise their baby over work. Children get sick sometimes, and parents have to take time off work.

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 09:22:50

fgahh I think I DO know that she wants it actually...babies are pretty easy to read. She loves a bottle. But because some posters think it's not good on an upset stomach that seems sensible/

belgo Mon 18-Jul-11 09:22:51

I would give the milk, I think the latest advice is to continue giving the baby their normal milk even when they have an upset tummy, if they can tolerate it.

fgaaagh Mon 18-Jul-11 09:23:47

"AF they're not picking up their phones"

Then perhaps the childcare arrangement isn't one that suits - I know I wouldn't like to be responsible for a baby when NO ONE with primary care duties was contactable. It would make me very nervous!

"he would probably look like this confused if I asked hm" - why? Doesn't he know what is acceptable for his child? Or he'd say "of course that's ok", or "no way, are you mad"? Need more details.

I still wouldn't give a bottle without prior approval.

kenobi Mon 18-Jul-11 09:24:48

Dilute the milk or put something else in the bottle? It may be as much about the comfort of sucking as requiring the actual milk.

belgo Mon 18-Jul-11 09:24:51

I agree with fgarrg - they have put you in a difficult situation if they are uncontactable.

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 09:24:59

Is it belgo? I thin I might send a text to my friend....she may get that....and if not well at lest I'm being honest. Baby is unsettled and grunmpy....notat home and no Mum or's instinct to want to feed her somethiing she'll like...she is clutching the empty bottle and whinging al the tme....

fgaaagh Mon 18-Jul-11 09:25:02

"I think I DO know that she wants it actually...babies are pretty easy to read. She loves a bottle."

But it's not your place to guess (yes, GUESS) what this child needs nutritionally.

Either stick with stuff that;s been approved by the parents, or ask their permission. JUST IN CASE.

is it so hard to get? hmm

Danthe4th Mon 18-Jul-11 09:25:36

You could give the milk but water it down half and half so the baby gets a drink and its a bit lighter on the tummy.

AnyFucker Mon 18-Jul-11 09:26:03

I see you are emergency child care, Op

all the more reason for one of them to be contactable

tbh though, I would just hang on until 1pm, and not go against something that seems very clear to you would be opposite to their wishes

fgaaagh Mon 18-Jul-11 09:27:35

Hang on - how long are you looking after this little one?

I just spotted you've said the mum is the other side of the country, so this isn't a single day, right? And dad wouldn't know what to advise?

What happens if this baby has a genuine need for a primary carer's input? A rash, a fall, something truly upsettnig happens?

I would feel very, very uncomfortable in the OP's setup shock

bubblesincoffee Mon 18-Jul-11 09:29:05

It is her place to guess though!

The parents have trusted her with their baby, they should trust her to do what she thinks is best at the time.

They have chosen to use OP as emergency childcare, they have to accept that if their work schedules are so demanding that they can't be there to look after their own child when she is sick, then other people are going to make descisions on their behalf.

AnyFucker Mon 18-Jul-11 09:29:08

fg, baby's mum is picking her up at 1pm if I understand OP correctly

Ormirian Mon 18-Jul-11 09:29:37

I think they have been utterly unreasonable to have put you in this position. If someone was looking after my 1yr old I'd have to be sure I was contactable!

You can't do this but I can see why you are tempted.

pozzled Mon 18-Jul-11 09:29:49

I think given that you are providing emergency care for a sick child, and are unable to contact the parents, you have to use your own judgement and do whatever you think best. Do you know why the child only normally has a little milk at bedtime?

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 09:29:56

Fghaa....pee sound ridiculous....what are you? The babysitting police? hmm

cat64 Mon 18-Jul-11 09:30:06

Message withdrawn

Fimbo Mon 18-Jul-11 09:30:40

I would put water in the bottle and give her that tbh.

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 09:31:56

Family are very close to me....pozzled no reason other than Mum had her well weaned by 9 months and on one bottle only by 10 or 11....she likes her to have mainly solids.

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