I am shy. Painfully so in my younger years. I got more confident in my teens and am even more so now but with new people I struggle and tend to come across as awkward. I have a good group of friends from my teens luckily but I have never really managed to make good friends in jobs or at baby groups/the school gate.
DD is also shy. I suppose it would make sense that she has learnt that from me but I doubt that as I am confident in front of the people she sees me around. She is in Y1 and is doing very well but the only negative brought up was her lack of confidence in speaking up, putting her hand up to answer questions and coming to the teacher when she has questions etc. Apparently this is holding her back. She has a couple of close friends but is not invited to many parties. She is very kind and good hearted (I know I am biased but honestly she is).
Her best friend is very confident. She does better academically and is very popular. That is all fine, some kids are better than others at certain things. The thing is she is a spiteful little girl, always putting DD down and teasing her and leaving her and others out when she fancies it. I was pleased they were good friends in reception but this year her nasty side has come out and I have had to meet with her teacher several times regarding her unpleasantness to DD. She is always telling my DD what parties she has been invited to "Oh but you are not invited are you?".
So why is she the more popular of the two? It always seems to be like this. I remember it myself at school. The bitchy girls were the popular ones. It seems bloody unfair. And it's not like they then end up struggling in later life. They always seem to be the ones who go on to be successful. I have a very happy life but I have never been successful in my career (even though I did very well at school).
All I can assume is that confidence is everything and shy people are held back because of their shyness.
Anyway I love my DD as she is and would not want her any other way. I just would hate her to be held back because she isn't outspoken, bossy or overbearing.
(Please note I do realise that not all popular people are nasty pieces of work so not offence intended here!)
AIBU?
To think that being shy holds you back?
AngryFeet · 17/07/2011 10:45
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