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AIBU to think urinating in the bedroom after a night out drinking is far from normal

(168 Posts)
marl Sun 17-Jul-11 10:19:38

OK, hoping here to get some wise advice from any of you that know about this, personally, medically or alcohol related. After a week of having hardly any sleep due to DS2 and 3, I was woken at 2.30am by DP throwing things around the bedroom and then crouching at the end of the bed weeing. I ended up turning all lights on, screaming at him and speaking to him like a child (but much more rudely) and eventually making him get to the toilet. He was so drunk after a night out with a friend that he really didn't seem to react appropriately to any of this and I ended up stomping around clearing up the carpet, as I didn't think he'd be capable.

I am so fuming and disgusted about this I can hardly speak to him. Added to which while he had no memory of it this morning and has apologised, he doesn't seem to be very disgusted and he says men who are pissed often do things like this eg in the wardrobe. I have never known him do this, and certainly no other men in my past.

He is someone who does seem to suddenly tip over the edge when he drinks alcohol and get very silly and beligerent - almost like an allergy. When I first met him some years ago I did wonder if he might be/become an alcoholic - I thought he seemed to have a strange reaction to it. But nothing has ever materialised on that front and on a normal week he just drinks reasonably 'normally', though when he has a big night out he still seems to have the same reaction. Amusing to some but certainly not last night. Thinking of decamping to my mums tonight in protest and also to get an unbroken night after being woken up by him and both DCs last night...

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 17-Jul-11 10:23:01

not normal, quite disgusting

does he drink every day, not to get pissed you understand but every day?

marl Sun 17-Jul-11 10:24:17

not every day at all. Probably in the week just a beer on a couple of nights, and then shares a bottle of wine with me weekend nights.

chimchar Sun 17-Jul-11 10:24:50

sorry. my dh has done this on the odd alcohol induced occasion.

sadly, i have many male friends who have done it too. one (a long time ago!)weed in his hi fi system in his bedroom, even ejecting a tape first.

grim, yes. disgusting, yes. but not unheard of.

pommedechocolat Sun 17-Jul-11 10:25:53

DP has done this twice since I've been with him. Once since dd's birth.

If very rare nothing to worry about if happening often drinking out of control.

greenplastictrees Sun 17-Jul-11 10:26:37

Not nice at all and he needs to take it as a sign that whatever he drunk last night took him over the edge and he needs to be careful.

Sadly Im not sure how rare it is! Someone I know was recently talking about some friends of theirs getting drunk and doing this and worse. I was digested. If DP ever did this I would be totally unimpressed...as would he the next morning!

Bluebell99 Sun 17-Jul-11 10:27:13

No not normal at all. Gross. And the other people I have come across who wee in the wardrobe were emotionally disturbed and possibly sexually abused adolescents.

vjg13 Sun 17-Jul-11 10:27:46

Yes, hideous but not uncommon! Order a new carpet asap grin

CandiceMariePratt Sun 17-Jul-11 10:30:06

I was woken one Night with noise of dhs friend weeing on the wooden floor of our bedroom. Floorboards came up lovely afterwards, but you are right it is disgusting but sadly not as unusual as it should be.

SpecialFriedRice Sun 17-Jul-11 10:30:15

Gross, but sadly not unheard of.

Although drinking to the point of having no memory is more of a concern!

Next time you should rub his nose in it like some people do with dogs...

Why do you never hear of women peeing in strange places after a night out???

chibi Sun 17-Jul-11 10:30:21

Here it seems like jolly japes, a 'we've all been there' kind of thing

Back home people would think you were some kind of alcoholic at worst, a total saddo at best, and you would probably rather die than have anyone find out

Can't say as how i'd be too impressed personally, but as always it's down to you what you can stick and what you can't

marl Sun 17-Jul-11 10:30:40

Yes vjg, had already decided on the new carpet plan during the night. I think it will be his job this week and he sort it out, pay for it or choose to speak to the home insurance people to explain the accident.grin

spookshowangel Sun 17-Jul-11 10:31:04

my EXh used to do this a lot when he had been drinking which was very regularly. he would just pee any were. i once found him poised over the baby. but it stopped when i told him i would leave him if i or the children ever had to get up in the morning and stand in a puddle of cold urine (we had laminate) so they must have some awareness. he would also shit himself on occasion when really piss. it is vile.

ImeldaM Sun 17-Jul-11 10:31:07

Not normal, something a young unattached bloke might do when too plastered, not acceptable when you live with someone/have kids in the house.

He needs to restrict himself a bit more when out drinking, to avoid this.
You need to let him know that its not acceptable & he shouldn't get that way again.

lachesis Sun 17-Jul-11 10:31:40

I've never heard of anyone doing this, male or female, except on MN and don't have any experience of it in real life. And believe me, I've had more than my share of alcohol an until recently was knocking back aout 50 units a week. I've been utterly paralytic on countless occassions and been with men who were the same.

Never once peed anywhere but a toilet or been with a man who's peed anywhere but a toilet. Because this would be a dealbreaker for me at the dating stage.

Gingefringe Sun 17-Jul-11 10:31:42

Yes, I've heard of some of my brother's friends who have done this (one regularly wees on the wardrobe). Also one of DH's friends just wets the bed. Disgusting - very.
I'd have a stern word with him.

queenmaeve Sun 17-Jul-11 10:32:36

I think I would have cracked up if that happened here. I can understand why you are disgusted, he should be even more disgusted at himself, he is bound to realise now he is drinking too much.

Animation Sun 17-Jul-11 10:32:40

A serious drink problem if you ask me.

LadyThumb Sun 17-Jul-11 10:33:40

It was the final straw in a friend's marriage when, early hours of Christmas morning, a very drunk Ex peed in the oven. Needless to say her and the kids didn't get Christmas Dinner that year - but he got the boot!

handsomeharry Sun 17-Jul-11 10:34:52

Both my brothers have done this when very drunk.

Loonytoonie Sun 17-Jul-11 10:35:30

I've knows DH to do this once. We were on holiday and DH had too much to drink. In the night (I was sleeping in a different room with poorly baby) and I heard him get up and crash around blindly. Then I heard the distinct sound of him urinating in the room. Foul. I was not impressed. Had to scrub the mat in the morning and blame the baby for the wet and scrubbed mat that was drying on the verandah. DH was really embarrassed (good) and said he woke up bursting to go and got lost and disorientated.

Strangely enough, after another skin-full last night, DH got up in the early hours, crashed around a bit and opened the airing cupboard. I leapt up and directed him to the loo...... needless to say, I'm less than impressed.

DH doesn't go out often and if he drinks in the house on a weekend, it's usually just a bottle of red. I reckon this happens with him because he drinks to excess and becomes drunk enough to lose his bearings. Needless to say, he's clearly drinking too much and needs to get a grip.

pigletmania Sun 17-Jul-11 10:36:07

Erm it is normal amongst the male population, and even sometimes the female population to do this when enebriated, and does not mean one jot that they have mental health or abuse issues hmm. Disgusting yes, but if he gets drunk like this on a regular basis than it is something to be concerned about.

FlangelinaBallerina Sun 17-Jul-11 10:37:03

SpecialFriedRice, I hate to let the side down, but it isn't an exclusively male thing. When I was in sixth form, a girl in my year got hammered and pissed all over her mate's CD player. Sometimes people even do it when sober. My dad nearly did once, and he hadn't even been drinking. According to mum mum, he got up for a pee in the middle of the night, and was intending to do it in the wardrobe as he thought it was a urinal. He even said 'scuse me love' to one of my mum's dresses. Luckily he was making so much noise that he woke her up, and she stopped him in time!

(the second story is not at all relevant, but I think it's hilarious and wanted to share!)

catgirl1976 Sun 17-Jul-11 10:37:42

Disgusting. But if its a very rare event its not a sign of an alcohol problem but a sign of someone who can't control himself on a boys night out and doesn't know when to stop. Doesn't sound like he drinks a large amount in the week so I don't think you have any worries on that score, but it is very immature behaviour and YANBU to be disgusted with him. He should be very red faced this morning and any hangover would be getting zip sympathy from me.

I have to say I have been on some monster binges in my time (many moons ago) but never lost bladder control. DH one weed up against his mums bedroom door as a drunken teen but glad to say hasn't done anything like it since.

pigletmania Sun 17-Jul-11 10:37:46

A one off is not a problem

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