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To want to throttle my ex?

(13 Posts)
Mitmoo Sat 16-Jul-11 18:59:58

I am so angry!!!!!!!!

My ex has a history of being irresponsible and abusive to my son. Over the years he has had to build up trust little by little bit by bit. My son is autistic with OCD. It has got to the point that with reservations I have let him take my son on a weekend sport event that my son is seriously into. I am reluctant I don't trust him but son is older and more able so I've let him take him.

He didn't have the decency to tell me where they were staying that was like pulling teeth, I got it though, not I've just had a call saying he was due home tomorrow but he is now coming home on Monday and missing another day off school leaving me with a second unauthorised absence and possibly a fine.

Plus he has planned this, took the child way, told me via the child he will be home on Sunday, then via the child trying to extend this to another day off school on Monday. The irresponsible w&&&&r.

If I insist he comes home late tomorrow for school the next day I am the bad guy. If I don't I am in trouble with the school.

That is the last time he will get to take him away.

P

ilovepesto Sat 16-Jul-11 19:03:09

what an irresponsible c**k. I'm sorry but it sounds like he's not for reasoning with. Are you in a position to lay down some groundrules in an adult manner when he gets back. Maybe he hasn't thought through the consequences of taking time off school? confused

Mitmoo Sat 16-Jul-11 19:26:54

He hasn't thought through the consequences at all. I had been so flexible for an ex so undeserving that I had let them sort out contact and even dropped off son at different venues to stop the ex being inconvenienced/

That is over, he needs to let me know when and where he wants to see the child and to get my agreement or it doesn't happen.

Mrs. Flexible and happy to oblige has just gone on strike. If he is happy to abuse contact to this extent, then I am not happy to be so obliging.

squeakytoy Sat 16-Jul-11 19:36:31

Is there a valid reason for why they cant come home tomorrow. Is it an event where the weather has stopped play and it is going to finish later than originally expected perhaps?

Mitmoo Sat 16-Jul-11 21:19:15

Sqeaky, it is one of those events but the school won't care they willl expect him back in the classroom.

oldraver Sat 16-Jul-11 21:25:09

This is the second time I have seen ' I will be the bad guy'

No you wont, you are doing the best for your child. He has to be in school Monday, so he has to be home tomorrow.

LineRunner Sat 16-Jul-11 21:44:58

You have to insist he is back tomorrow evening.

Otherwise it is your ex who is the parent with care at the time of the school absence and the local authority would need to contact and fine HIM.

Mitmoo Sun 17-Jul-11 08:47:24

I dont know whether to call in sick or to drop him in it with the school. What is worse is that he knew he was going to do this and he hasn't got enough medication. I started another thread saying he wouldn't tell me where they were staying and went off on one when I politely asked for the address. Now I know why he did that.

My son needs meds for his autism and OCD and he has now run out. Ex is refusing to return him and refusing to talk to me only messages via the child.

I can't put that kind of pressure on my son, if I stress him out he self harms, I can't put him in the middle of Dad and me. Dad wont communicate with me and refusing to bring him home.

I can't begin to tell you how angry I am.

ZillionChocolate Sun 17-Jul-11 09:12:53

I'd call the school first thing Monday morning and tell them the truth. Lying is wrong and could backfire.

ZillionChocolate Sun 17-Jul-11 09:15:13

In circumstances which I now forget, it's sometimes possible to take medication to a pharmacy and for them to give you a day's worth. Your ex should be looking to get some extra medication. Might be worth investigating.

Loonytoonie Sun 17-Jul-11 09:17:09

Definitely tell the school, tell the truth. It'll bode you well for any future problems and the school may be able to 'protect' you should you take any legal action. At the very least, they'll be able to confirm that you've been straight with them should the courts get involved.

Loonytoonie Sun 17-Jul-11 09:17:51

If your ex doesn't get extra medication for your DS, surely that's neglectful behaviour?

Mitmoo Sun 17-Jul-11 09:31:12

My ex doesn't even think my son needs his meds, tell him he shouldn't be taking them at his age and put him off taking them for a few months.

I had a right battle until my son actually became suicidal went as far as leaving a note but couldn't go through with it, then realised he really needed the meds and we had to get all of the agencies involved to support him until the meds kicked back in again. He will be OK as he will only be 18 hours late taking them but to take him away and lie to me about when he is being returned, knowing he is without his meds, knowing he is going to be off on a school day.

I'm fuming.

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