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to think dd's dad would want to know how she is doing

(10 Posts)
Steeplearningcurve Fri 15-Jul-11 23:59:11

My dd's dad always said he cared about her and wanted to be involved. She is 10wo and he hasn't been in touch for 3 weeks. Feeling down and would be great to hear from anyone who has come out of this the other side. Can deal with him rejecting me but not my beautiful dd.

cosysocks Sat 16-Jul-11 00:34:32

My ds has never seen his dad. I agree getting your head around the rejection is tough but just think it's because you love your dd so much that you can't understand why he has done it.
You hopefully will get to a point where you accept it and not let it boil you up inside. Even now 5 years on I think 'but how can he do this?' but it doesn't hurt anymore just honest curiosity as how a parent can do that.
Enjoy you dd at at this precious time.

GlitterySkulls Sat 16-Jul-11 00:43:01

that sounds really horrible- but he's the one who's missing out, not you, & certainly not your DD. when she's old enough, she'll appreciate you all the more, whereas she'll know exactly what her dads like. i know it probably hurts, but be comforted with the knowledge you have have a wonderful little girl. smile

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 16-Jul-11 00:47:07

Why do these irresponsible men father children they don't want? So sad for the children. Sympathies, OP. sad

iceandsliceplease Sat 16-Jul-11 00:48:42

I've not been in your situation, but I know how hurt you must feel, when your DD is the absolute centre of your world.
I don't think DD's dad is rejecting her, it's just that he doesn't understand how precious that relationship is, and how wonderful it is to be involved with every moment. And if he is rejecting her, then he is the one missing out, no one else.

cosysocks knows far, far better than I how to handle it - and she's right. Enjoy your DD

Steeplearningcurve Sat 16-Jul-11 01:06:37

thank you to you all for being so nice. It's hitting me hard at the moment because we were supposed to go away to the seaside together. think I will try to do it on my own, even if i spend most of the time feeding her at least i will know i can do it alone.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 16-Jul-11 01:20:48

He might still change his mind and want to see his daughter, OP. It's only been 10 weeks (probably feels like a lifetime to you) but maybe it's something that's not so 'pressing' for him. Crazy, I know. I hope he comes round and makes the decision to be a good dad for your daughter because I think dads are important for girls particularly, good ones anyway. Fingers crossed that he'll see sense very soon. If he doesn't, well your daughter will always have you, won't she, and you'll be just fine.

Steeplearningcurve Sat 16-Jul-11 01:24:44

I think that's what I worry about most, that I'd she doesn't have her dad she will be damaged later.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 16-Jul-11 01:33:27

Truthfully, I miss having a nice dad... I'm always pointing out people on tv who I would have liked as a dad, my own is lousy and always has been. That said, it's better that your daughter doesn't have one at all rather than one who is bad for her and lets her down. There aren't any guarantees and it may be that he'll step up and be that dad that she needs - or he won't - but at least you won't let him damage her.

There are so many step-parents nowadays that it may be she has a fantastic relationship wth a step dad in the future. I think she would benefit from male role models and they can be grandfathers, brothers, uncles, family friends, whomever.

She's only 10 weeks old, you have time to work it out, Steeplearningcurve. smile

Steeplearningcurve Sat 16-Jul-11 01:36:23

Thank you. Sometimes a forget that my life isn't over. At least now I've accepted he's gone I can try to move on.

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