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think that the eleven plus forum is one of the scariest places on the web

(22 Posts)
reallytired Fri 15-Jul-11 23:11:25

smug mum alert

My son has done well in his year 4 SATs and averaging 4B in most subjects. I was thinking of letting him try for the grammar school in year 6, but I can't afford tutoring. I decided to have a look on the web.

This site is scary.

It appears I have left it too late to prepare my son. I don't think I want my son to work so hard. He likes his music.

scottishmummy Fri 15-Jul-11 23:17:22

what is 11plus?alpha mums and tutors yes thats scary
pushy folk talk of such things - i ignore

GreenEyesandHam Fri 15-Jul-11 23:18:43

There's an 11 plus forum?

scottishmummy Fri 15-Jul-11 23:19:40

what is it?private school exam?

reallytired Fri 15-Jul-11 23:22:49

Its a state grammar, Parmitars School. I don't think ds chances are particularly high as most the places go to siblings or children who live near by.

bubblesincoffee Fri 15-Jul-11 23:24:59

YANBU to think that website is scary, most parts of it are like a freakshow! It was the whole thing about 'targeting' a certain school that got me!

I looked on there when I was putting ds through 11+ last year, and that was about 3 months before the test. We did a couple of practice papers for each subject, and my ds ended up missing the pass mark by 5 marks, and we got him in on appeal because of huge mitigating circumstances. I'm not reccommeding you try that route, but at the same time, over tutoring is not a good thing.

YABU to think that you have left it too late to do any tutoring though, you have loads of time, definately more than you need. When you look at the 11+forum, you have to take from it the bits that are useful, and ignore the rest. It can be useful for information about the format of the test in the individual school you are applying for, but you definately have to keep your sensible head on when reading some of the posts.

bubblesincoffee Fri 15-Jul-11 23:26:01

How come they allocate places to siblings? Do they not just do it on results like most selective schools?

scottishmummy Fri 15-Jul-11 23:26:51

yes internet sites can be alarmist rubbish.medical ones are dire.if you dont think youre ill before you go on by time you browse you'll be spluttering last breath

reallytired Fri 15-Jul-11 23:27:42

I feel for these poor children if they fail the 11 plus after all that preparation. Going to a comprehensive /secondary modern is not a death sentence.

The idea of starting in year 3 is bonkers.

kayah Fri 15-Jul-11 23:29:42

that forum had nuggetts of knowledge
as a whole it has it's place for when you have very specific question to ask

where we are grammar schools have different requirements and they don't give much away in details what they expect of the kids

it would have been very difficult for my kids to get their places had I not done extra digging and asking questions there

stardustn Sat 16-Jul-11 16:24:12

Please please don't let it put you off- I went to a state grammar school after passing my 11+ and didn't have any tutoring for the exam, and neither did quite a few other people. I'd get your DS a few of the practice papers from WH Smith and let him have a look and go through them with him, much cheaper and IMO just as beneficial. You definitely haven't left it too late smile

Good luck smile

vegetariandumpling Sat 16-Jul-11 16:35:06

I don't think I want my son to work so hard.
I don't think ds chances are particularly high as most the places go to siblings or children who live near by.

Sorry, but I don't think that's an attitude you want to be passing on to your DS. What's wrong with just giving it a try and see what happens? If you go in with a defeatest attitude then what can you expect?

If you can, get some kind of preparation material (they used to have books and practice papers on sale when I did it) then spend some time going through the different types of questions with him yourself everyday. Even if he doesn't pass, the preparation and the actual experience of taking the test will benefit him later.

reallytired Sat 16-Jul-11 19:45:53

"Even if he doesn't pass, the preparation and the actual experience of taking the test will benefit him later."

How? Surely he was just be disappointed and his confidence might be hit. Failing the 11 plus was bad for my confidence as my parents had invested so much effort in preparation and they were clearly devestated. Disappointing my parents was the worst thing about failing the eleven plus. It made me feel a failure on so many levels. I don't want my son to feel like I did at ten years old.

I think its pointless tutoring a child for a grammar school exam for years. Either they are eleven plus material or they are not. I can't helping thinking that practicing music is more benefical to my son than practicing verbal or numerical reasoning. At least he would gain a skill that would give him pleasure as an adult.

The only reason I am looking at website is that HE wants to do the eleven plus.

NotEnoughTime Sat 16-Jul-11 20:41:47

I have been on that website a few times and have found a lot of very helpful people on there.

However I have also found a lot of fanatical, pushy and obsessed interested parents on there too.

bigscarymum Sat 16-Jul-11 20:49:34

Funnily enough most people on that forum find mumsnet scary! Actually most people are just normal parents trying to give their kids the best start in life that they can. Of course there are some scary people, but you find them everywhere.

PS you won't get a sibling into a grammar school if they don't pass the 11plus.

bigscarymum Sat 16-Jul-11 20:51:21

Oh, and actually the recommendation from there is to tutor your child from the January before the test at the earliest. Yes, people do start earlier, but people tutor from an early age even without the 11plus.

Gingefringe Sat 16-Jul-11 20:57:12

My SIL is obsessed with getting her 'genius' son into a grammar school. Apparently he is already 2 years in front of the other pupils in his class and is bound to get in!!
I can imagine she would be one of the pushy scary parents on the website.
She's a boring bitch at the best of times

ShellingPeas Sat 16-Jul-11 21:01:40

It can be helpful if you need advice for specific schools and areas. BUT there are some loons on there - my local area has one parent who is busy coaching his 8 year old to sit the test which doesn't happent until 2012. He has know exactly what everyone else is doing regarding preparation - IMO it doesn't matter what everyone else is doing, it's what suits your child.

Oh and never, ever, get imbroiled in an in county or out of county debate as the knives are drawn.

Sadly people on there don't seem to accept that grammar might not be the best option for all their DC and push on regardless. I have one at grammar and my younger child won't even sit 11+ as it's not the right environment.

ShellingPeas Sat 16-Jul-11 21:02:19

embroiled even

reallytired Sat 16-Jul-11 21:14:15

ShellingPeas, you sound a very sensible parent.

I think its totally pointless to put a child into the eleven plus if they are not top table material. Even if a child is bright they may still be happier being a big fish in a small pond rather than a small fish in a big pond.

I have no intention of tutoring my son yet (!) I want to give him choices, but protect him from the experiences I had a child. I want my son to feel loved for who he is and know that I am there for him whether he goes to grammar school or (god forbid!) some awful accident/ illness happened and he ended up at special school. I want him to respect all people whatever their ablity.

lawnimp Sat 16-Jul-11 21:15:47

you gotta be in it to win it

Ingles2 Sat 16-Jul-11 21:29:57

there are some totally fab people on that site and some total loons as well... rather like here grin
I had to appeal earlier this year on oversubscription for my eldest son... he'd passed the test well, but we lived just too far away... I had some really brilliant advice and we won our appeal.
I've tried talking to the same people about ds2, who I've decided not to enter for the 11+ at all. He'd probably pass it, with a lot of work on his maths, but the school doesn't really suit him. He's not conventionally academic.
You'd think I was suggesting sending him straight to the worst sink school for a life of hopeless crime...
just take what you need from the site and ignore the rest. Follow your own instincts about your dc, you will invariably be right.

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