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to be rather upset that DH has forgotten my birthday.

(17 Posts)
lavenderbongo Fri 15-Jul-11 22:44:42

Ok I realise that I am thirty(something) now and should have got over birthdays. But this morning I woke up early stupidly excited that all the kids would be jumping on the bed to give me cards and pressies. I nipped to the bathroom and on the way back dd1 came out of her bedroom, gave me a big hug and said "Happy birthday Mummy".
Arrived back in my bedroom to find DH sitting on the bed looking very upset. At which point he says "i'm really sorry but I forgot your birthday!".
I was really shocked and immediately said It didnt matter. Tried to brush it off but found myself bursting into tears.
To put this in a bit of perpective this week has been a bit crap as I have found out that I have an inherited health problem which is going to get worse.
I have been talking about my birthday all week and was really looking forward to it. A day of being pampered etc..I just feel really let down and not sure how to snap myself out of it to enjoy the rest of the day.
Dh wants to go into town so he can actually buy me a present. I dont really want to spend the day dragging the kids around town. Not sure what to do. Just feeling a bit low and can't believe he would forget about me like that.

GlitterySkulls Fri 15-Jul-11 22:47:25

maybe he was just so worried about you, he forgot?

Yama Fri 15-Jul-11 22:50:22

I think if he apologised rather than being defensive then he should be forgiven.

You've both had a bad week. Forgive him.

I'm sorry about your health problem.

Hassled Fri 15-Jul-11 22:50:27

It's completely crap of him - he should be feeling as guilty as hell and you're being completely fair enough to be upset. Of course you feel let down. He has one hell of a lot of making up to do - and if you don't want to traipse around town with the kids, then don't. Say no. He can sort something else out, or take the kids on his own.

It sounds like he's been so stressed with your health problem.

And at least he was sorry and upset about it plows needle deeper into cheesys own dp shaped voodoo doll

AgentZigzag Fri 15-Jul-11 22:51:46

Happy birthday smile

Can't your DH go into town on his own?

At least he was upset at forgetting, try not to be too hard on him and let him make it up to you smile

And really, I think you should pull yourself together and enjoy your day.

Kick dp out with the kids to get pressies whilst you have a nice long bath.

MogandMe Fri 15-Jul-11 22:53:47

Happy Birthday!!

Sorry your DH forgot your birthday sad I know how you feel - I am a live in nanny and my birthday is on the calendar, I have spoken about it all week and my boss still forgot sad

Hope you spoilt yourself - I did!

michglas Fri 15-Jul-11 22:57:42

he sounds like he's been so stressed about your health, that he forgot. Bless him, he sounds really upset so i would let him make it up to you without making him feel bad for it.

pushmepullyou Fri 15-Jul-11 22:59:19

Happy Birthday smile

Commiserations as well as my DH is rubbish with birthdays too, so i know just how you feel!

When he forgets I tell him I am designating a day as my unofficial birthday (maybe the weekend after) when he will be expected to make up for it grin

So far this has worked a treat as he does love me but is genuinely crap (his birthday is Christmas day so birthdays never really register for him)

falasportugues Fri 15-Jul-11 23:07:44

did you remind him? the best way to have people ignore your birthday is to not remind them... worked for me this year!!! had lovely low key day.

HeyYouJimmy Fri 15-Jul-11 23:07:49

That the problem with expectations, there will be times when you feel let down because you've expected something and been disappointed because your OH/DC's didn't get you anything as they will have had other more important things on their minds.

TBH, I've always believed in the love I get, from DH and the kids, throughout the years as more important than anything material.

SevenAgainstThebes Fri 15-Jul-11 23:37:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittlePushka Fri 15-Jul-11 23:49:48

Think you are beeng a bit precious about it, but then I do not really see the point of "celebrating "birthdays beyond childhood. I mean, what does it mean to be wished "Happy Birthday"?Why is it important as an adult? It is like someone saying, "happy holiday" It is meaningless. And birthday cards for adults, eugh, complete waste of atoms.

justarandom Sat 16-Jul-11 03:03:45

Happy Birthday, hope your day got better. Unfortunately though if you were really looking forward to a day of pampering I think you needed to make that clear, rather than assuming your DH could read your mind. Unfair I know, especially if you are the kind of person who makes a real effort for others on their birthdays, but I learned a long time ago that if something was important to me and I needed DH to do something to make it happen I really had to be quite specific about it, otherwise I could take my chances which would mean sometimes there would be presents/champagne/special treats etc. sometimes nothing. If you say "it doesn't matter" you have to mean it.

bagelmonkey Sat 16-Jul-11 04:26:36

DH forgot my last birthday. He was really upset when I collected the cards and presents that had arrived from my parents and friends and climbed back into bed to open them and he realised what day it was. I found it quite amusing for some reason and then felt guilty for laughing at him because he was so disappointed. confused

SagaciousCloud Sat 16-Jul-11 13:35:56

Men who genuinely forget and appologise profusely and do soemthing to make up for their lapse should be forgiven.

Men who forget because they are just not that into you, are tossers and should be dumped.

I think your DH falls into the first camp. But next year, remind him the week before.

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