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AIBU?

to report my next door neighbour?

26 replies

icooksocks · 15/07/2011 11:28

I'll keep this relatively short.

Moved into my new place at the beginning of june. Tw pretty nasty smells in the bungalow-one was a serious damp problem in the bathroom, now sorted after some serious hard work from my DH. The other in DC2 (3yo)and 3's (18 m/o) was a different smell, pretty nasty and gave me a headache-let alone the boys.
Upon a friendly chat over the garden fence with next door neigbour (who is attached to us) I catch a whiff of the "cigarette" he's smoking-low and behold the penny drops with regards to the smell. After a quick consultation with DH, we decide to go in gently and ask him if he smokes cannabis, explain our problem and ask if he minded not smoking it in the back room (which joins onto our boys room). Next door neighbour was fine, admitted he did smoke cannabis and agreed to our request.
Alls fine for 5 days until this morning, when I smell it again, gave him benefit of the doubt-thought maybe he'd wandered in with a joint on the go to put something away. But over the next four hours the smell got stronger, despite the windows being wide open, and lst time I went in there it made me feel a bit sick.
AIBU to now report him to the council (we are both council tenants), my DH and I feel that we probably should as we gave him the chance to do the rightthing, and now we have to do the right thing by our DC's who will be affected by it.
Some points to note before I forget. 1. We live in pre-fabricated bungalows-the walls are only stud walls. 2. Next door neighbour lives on his own, and freely admits he has a drink problem. The drinking in itself has never affected us (we've heard two minor rows which were nothing to write home about)

OP posts:

Report

AngryBeaver · 15/07/2011 11:40

Hmm,tricky.
Do you think he could get nasty? Alcoholic/potheads,could maybe not be the most reasonble of people.
I think if you report him he'll know it's you, and may make life difficult. The council/ police might not do much about it and then where do you go.
I would tell him again-this time not so nicely- to refrain from smoking weed in that room,otherwise you will have no choice BUT to report him.
Tell him it would be nice to be neighbourly/friendly,but your kids are your first priority and if anyone jepordises their wellbeing, friendliness is stright out the window and The Lioness will make an appearance,capiche??!!
In other words, 3 strikes and he's out.
You can't say fairer than that

LineRunner · 15/07/2011 11:42

Sorry, how is the smoke smell getting into your children's bedroom? I don't understand.

icooksocks · 15/07/2011 11:47

We live in a pre-fab LineRunner , there are no proper brick walls between oursand his, its just a partition wall.

OP posts:

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 15/07/2011 11:51

The problem is proving it .... what about asking the police for advice first?

catpark · 15/07/2011 11:52

linerunner, cannibis can have a very strong smell which easily penetrates walls and the OP has said her house is a pre-fab so walls are much thinner between houses.
My mum lives in a flat which was built in the 1980's and she can smell the neighbour below's cigarette smoke when she goes in the bathroom. Neighbour also tends to cook really spicey/onion smelling food and the smell is dreadful in my mums kitchen at times.

If the smell is really bad OP and you've had a word already then i'd contact the council about it.

icooksocks · 15/07/2011 11:54

He could get nasty, and thats what worries me. In general he's a nice bloke, but like I've said we've heard him rowing when he's been on the sauce. I have no desire to make enemies, I do wonder wether a second more forceful chat would have anymore effect.
Yo are right on one score AngryBeaver if we do report him, he'll know it was us.

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 15/07/2011 11:55

Anti social behaviour team?
Env health?

knittedbreast · 15/07/2011 11:56

i dont think you should report it but i do think you should go round again and say how unhappy you are and that if he dousnt stop you will tell the council.

hes obviously reasonable enough to have stopped even fro a short while when you asked before. just tell him how you feel and its the children you dont want smelling it.

im sure hel smoke elsewhere

LineRunner · 15/07/2011 12:00

I'd hate such thin walls anyway (just for general cooking smells and noise), and I'd probably be asking the council to come and check out the 'funny smell' as it could be something dead (a dead mouse has a delightful sickly sweet smell for a while before it mummifies). Tell your neighbour that you think you've got an attack of the dying mice.

AngryBeaver · 15/07/2011 13:51

I'm sure the op isn't overly enamoured with the thin walls either linerunner!
Also, she can 't reallt tell the neighbour that as she has already had the 'We Can Smell Your Pot' chat.She can't play dumb now.
I definitely thing another (more firm) chat, is the next step

whackamole · 15/07/2011 14:16

I think I would try and muster up the courage for another chat before going to the council. The smell of pot nowadays knocks me sick.

nanar · 15/07/2011 14:20

I agree with whackamole (good name!) - give him another chance with a quiet word, then take it further.

porcamiseria · 15/07/2011 14:26

ask him again, explain you are finding it impossible to live with the smell. say the last thing you want to do is report him but you are in an impossible situation wth the smell as is

icooksocks · 16/07/2011 15:09

Update: Yesterday evening the smell got alot worse again, so I went round and asked him to come round and smell it for himself. So he did, we stood in the DC's bedroom, I stood there and explained our situation (again), I even ended up in tears , he said he just couldn't understand how it was coming through. I told him I had to do right by my babies. He left (feeling a little uncomfortable) And the smell continued to come through for aother 3 hours.
I did notice when he answered his front door-the place was like a fog, and it was very strong-he also doesn't open any of his windows-so we think that its escaping trough the gaps between each plasterboard on the ceiling and coming through the roof space.
Anyway thats it now, if we smell it again then I'm reporting him. He's had two chances.

OP posts:

hoolabombshell · 16/07/2011 15:21

I think that's awful that you've now asked him twice, he's even been round to your house, you were in tears and the selfish stoner's probably STILL at it.

I think he's left you with no choice, it's a shame but as you said you have to do right by your babies.

Good luck, he sounds unbelieveable

blackeyedsusan · 16/07/2011 15:27

have you tried sealing around the skirting board and floor boards with decorators caulk it may help.

it stinks. we had the problem from the flat on the ground floor. the police raided them in full riot gear apparently after lots of the other neighbours complained.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 16/07/2011 15:28

Hopefully that'll have helped you've given him more chances than many would.

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 16/07/2011 15:33

have you asked him to open the windows in his house?

GetOffOfMyCloud · 16/07/2011 15:35

You poor thing. I think you have been completely reasonable and given him as many chances as you can, there has to be a limit. Next time it happens you need to report it to the council. Your children have to be your first priority. Good luck!!

icooksocks · 16/07/2011 15:37

No I haven't Nearly but I plan to next time I see him. It was only after he'd left last night that we worked out that the lack of ventilation in his house may be a factor.

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AmberLeaf · 16/07/2011 15:39

Hes probably scared to open his windows! for fear of offending someone.

If he opens his windows the smoke will blow away and yiour problem will be on the whole solved,.

oh and no dont report him.

icooksocks · 16/07/2011 16:03

Why not Amber you think we should just let him get away with smoking so muc pot it comes into our house and affects the way we live?

OP posts:

AmberLeaf · 16/07/2011 17:05

No I think he should open his windows, let the smoke out and it wont affect the way you live.

AmberLeaf · 16/07/2011 17:06

...unless its the morality of the issue thats affecting the way you live?

icooksocks · 16/07/2011 19:59

No its not the morality of it, ill live and let live up to a certain point (I wouldn't really stand for him shooting up in full view of my kids in the garden, but a bit of weed providing it isn't affecting me doesn't really bother me). However whilst the smell is coming through it is affecting the way we live. I will be asking him to open the windows, but if I smell it in my house again I will be reporting him, I have given him every chance.

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