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A mum swapped one of DS shoes with her DS'. AIBU to be suspicious and actually quite pissed off.

(40 Posts)
youarekidding Fri 15-Jul-11 07:50:35

Hi, I actually don't think I'm BU here in being suspicious and would like to gage others opinions.

Short version - hopefully!

DS and a boy in his class have same shoes and same size. DS shoes had name in sole but must have worn off - I didn't notice TBH.
Bought DS new trainers in Clarks at weekend as sale on and others year old and they are 1/2 size bigger than school shoes. DS then convinced school shoes wrong size so wears another pair of grey ones to school (Mon/Tues) and had worn wellies Friday and used plimsols so hadn't had his shoes.

DS goes to and from school with local wrap around care centre as I work. On Tuesday got a letter in home/school book from TA saying Mum says the children's shes have been mixed up and TA thinks as DS are too small that could have been because they're other child's. I returned a note saying school shoes fine (DS was wearing them that day having forgot about the too small bit!) and I didn't want them swapped without me seeing other pair first. TA returns note Weds saying fair enough perhaps we could look at sports day yesterday.

Anyway stupidly as I can't make sports day due to work I send in shoes and say to DS he can swap them over with the other pair - mainly as I felt I should be doing my bit.

So DS passes on message, the Mum comes in and looks at the shoes and decides that actually it's only 1 shoe tha'ts been swapped and I've got one that I'm convinced is in a worse condition than his was. I already had looked at the other shoe and thought it looked more scuffed than DS'.

AIBU to think this mum has got wind of DS shoes not fitting (which they do!), decided to concoct a story about them being swapped and then on examining the shoes picked the 2 best ones. DS teacher actually thinks its strange that it went from both swapped to one and only came to light 3 days after DS had last worn his shoes. She is looking into it.

GypsyMoth Fri 15-Jul-11 07:58:52

You'll be binning them next week won't you? End of school year..

youarekidding Fri 15-Jul-11 08:02:42

Yes, which s why I'd agreed to swap without me seeing them, but it's more the fact she inspected them and changed her mind - suspicious?

youarekidding Fri 15-Jul-11 08:03:16

And no we have 2 weeks left envy

Goblinchild Fri 15-Jul-11 08:04:06

That's why we insist on all items being clearly labelled to avoid confusion and sort out these kinds of arguments amongst parents. You may have suspicions, but without a name there's nothing you can do about it.
Poor teacher, just what she needs to spend time and effort on at this point in the year.
<Flashback to cardigan fight between two mothers a few years ago>

spookshowangel Fri 15-Jul-11 08:17:49

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm really?

InTheNightKitchen Fri 15-Jul-11 08:18:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheOriginalFAB Fri 15-Jul-11 08:19:58


Yo paid for these shoes and it is not relevant when you break up. They may still have fitted in September.

I get stick in shoe labels and as ds2 is still so little I see every day when I put them on if the name label is still in and can replace it immediately if not.

DuelingFanjo Fri 15-Jul-11 08:21:59

I find this really hard to understand. Where do the trainers come in to all this? so many different pairs of shoes!

kreecherlivesupstairs Fri 15-Jul-11 08:23:32

Thank goodness it wasn't only me Dueling, I got confused when wellies came into it as well.

DirtyMartini Fri 15-Jul-11 08:24:17

Kind of have to agree with InTheNightKitchen.

I don't think this is a battle worth fighting, tbh. Spare yourself the worry and just move on.

You have no way of being sure anyway. YABU to be "suspicious" about something that is subjective and unprovable and, if true, would mean conflict with another parent over a trivial subtlety of scuffing levels.

Next time label the shoes!

marriedinwhite Fri 15-Jul-11 08:27:34

Oh FGS. Put the shoes in the bin and tell the teacher ds is wearing the trainers or his plimsolls next week because you are not buying new shoes with a week to go.

AnyFucker Fri 15-Jul-11 08:32:35

gosh, what a kerfuffle about very little grin

proudfoot Fri 15-Jul-11 08:38:46


What are you on about

bringinghomethebacon Fri 15-Jul-11 08:44:10

Yep, YABU and a bit weird. Unless the other mother has some history of weirdness and nicking other children's stuff.

PuppyMonkey Fri 15-Jul-11 08:49:08

You lost me at gage grin

Have next week off, that's what we're doing. wink

Georgimama Fri 15-Jul-11 08:49:09

I don't understand this OP at all. A shoe which no longer fits and has got scuffed has been acccidently swapped with another shoe which doesn't fit and is scuffed. No wonder teachers don't have time to listen to children read individually if they are having to conduct Miss Marple style investigations about this kind of shit.

Bin the shoes. Put him in his plimsolls for the rest of term. Buy new shoes at the end of August. The end.

OTheHugeManatee Fri 15-Jul-11 08:56:34


DirtyMartini Fri 15-Jul-11 09:01:39

Not accidentally, Georgimama. Maliciously and with criminal intent grin

GypsyMoth Fri 15-Jul-11 09:01:59

The shoes are scuffed and too small, but lol at being kept for sept!!

Bin em and move on!!

Morloth Fri 15-Jul-11 09:02:44

Too confusing for me as well. Just label it properly next time.

redskyatnight Fri 15-Jul-11 09:07:19

Maybe the other mum doesn't know (any more than you do) which shoes belong to which boy.

I wouldn't want my child wearing a very worn shoe(s) that had previously belonged to someone else. Even if they are the same size they will still be stretched slightly to fit the individual feet. More likely that she's genuinely tried to identify the ones she thinks belong to her child (and possibly got it wrong ...).

coccyx Fri 15-Jul-11 09:08:04

from what I understand...i agree with ILoveTIFFANY

Blethermouse Fri 15-Jul-11 09:10:47

A little bit insulting to the other mum inferring she would prefer your ds' shoe rather than her own ds'...I would presume most people would want the correct shoe if poss, not someone elses old shoe !
I think you should have said not to swap the shoes as they were fine, but since you gave the go ahead and they weren't named I would now forget it.

youarekidding Fri 15-Jul-11 16:05:51

The trainers came into it because that's what made DS think his school shoes wouldn't fit - the size. That's just my DS he has a funny logic. grin

His school shoes were labelled - must have come off?

Teacher not dealing with it - I actually told her she must have better things to do this close to the end of term - and she is lovely btw.

It is forgotten and nothing else will happen. I was fine with swapping until the 'inspection' of the shoes and the other mum deciding that only 1 had been swapped. I'm not sure when though because as I say DS has not been wearing his school shoes. I'm not suspicious that the shoes got swapped - these things happen more that 1 got swapped (er how?) and that the story changed when she had 4 shoes to chose from.

All I wanted was others opinions because both myself and the teacher were a little suspicious. I guess though when its you involved you see things differently and want some outside opinion.

But maybe I'm BU?

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