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to still be annoyed by this...literally years later?

(20 Posts)
feckymcfeckedoff Thu 14-Jul-11 21:41:18

I'm getting my act together after splitting up with XP but still find myself getting incandescent with rage about things that really should be water long gone under a distant bridge but just felt like (hoped for?) some MN righteousness!

So ladies and gents hmm picture the scene I'm 35 weeks pregnant, I'm with Mr McFeckedoff and friends at a holiday cottage 5 hours drive from home. Sat night party on (aside from me) no worries, Sunday night please Mr McF don't drink too much you have to drive home tomorrow...12 hours later I'm doing the 5 hour drive and he's complaining of a hangover and asking me to stop the car so he can throw up....angry is it any surprise that 28 months later the McFeckedoff household is 13 stone lighter?

Am I being unreasonable to still think that he was being unreasonable?

(God this is petty, but I feel so much better already grin)

Taghain Thu 14-Jul-11 21:43:00

Completely unreasonable.
Isn't a man allowed a drink now & then????


HumperdinkFangboner Thu 14-Jul-11 21:47:56

Urmm actually I think YABU!

Thingumy Thu 14-Jul-11 21:49:54

I'd say let go and live in the now.

glassescase Thu 14-Jul-11 21:50:59


cheesesarnie Thu 14-Jul-11 21:51:41 that the only thing he ever did wrong and it was a long time ago!

feckymcfeckedoff Thu 14-Jul-11 21:52:50

Yeah, well, maybe, ok, a wee bit....ABU as charged...I did ask...good point Thingumy.

squeakytoy Thu 14-Jul-11 21:53:03

If this is years ago then yes, its pointless to still be seething about it.

Even if it was last week, it would be a bit unreasonable. You couldnt drink because you were pregnant.. so he did. If it was an isolated thing it wouldnt be too bad, but obviously it wasnt if you eventually split up.

WhoAteMySnickers Thu 14-Jul-11 21:55:06

YABU if that's the worst you can come up with.

hiddenhome Thu 14-Jul-11 21:55:39


My ExP and I went away for an overnight visit with friends once and I became very sick after feeling a bit unwell all day. My temperature shot up and I became delirious confused

The next day he was driving back to my house, with me still feeling absolutely terrible and he stopped at the services, went into a Little Chef and ordered himself a meal and read the paper. I was sat outside in the carpark and I had to wait until he'd finished and continued the journey back. It wasn't a particularly long journey and he wasn't feeling tired or anything, he was just a greedy sod angry

When I arrived home I went to the doctors and was told I had scarlet fever and needed an immediate course of antibiotics. I came out in a terrible rash the next day and was ill for a while afterwards.

This still makes me angry even though it was years ago. I don't know what the heck possessed me to even see him again after that incident. I should have taken it as a warning confused

feckymcfeckedoff Thu 14-Jul-11 21:55:50

one of many SQ...maybe that's why it still rankles?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Thu 14-Jul-11 22:01:44

YABU - if your still struggling with moving on and letting go after the breakup of your marriage I recommend you attend

unless of course you want to take all that shit, baggage, anger and resentment into your new relationship?

mo3d Thu 14-Jul-11 22:06:15

YANBU to have been really upset at the time. 35 weeks pregnant and having to drive for 5 hours. Not fun.

But . . .

YABU to still be fuming about it now.
I hope by writing it down you can now let it go.

<takes deep breath. . . breathe deeply . . . and let it go . . .> grin

queenmaeve Thu 14-Jul-11 22:09:47

Is it not expected that if you're pregnant you're the designated driver?

feckymcfeckedoff Thu 14-Jul-11 22:10:32

this is instant response and SO much cheaper than counselling!

OK, I'll


HumphreyCobbler Thu 14-Jul-11 22:12:45

I would have been pissed off I had had to drive for five hours when 35 weeks pregnant due to someone elses HANGOVER. No problems with getting drunk the night before but deal with it in the morning and drive your heavily pregnant wife home.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 14-Jul-11 22:13:15

sorry, did I add fuel to the flame? grin

akaemmafrost Thu 14-Jul-11 22:16:03

Actually no YANBU. I still remember my ex H trying to get me to do a 6 hour drive both there and back (he had no licence) when I was 38 weeks pregnant and had not been behind the wheel of a car in 5 years. Apparently it would be cheaper than train fare.

I still seethe about this when I think about it.

MrFrost also got the big heave ho.

papermate Thu 14-Jul-11 22:20:43

When ever I have been pregnant, it has meant dh has had a free taxi for 9 months!! At 35 weeks pregnant I seriously wouldn't of gone that far from home!

thursday Thu 14-Jul-11 22:21:03

my DH doesn't drive, i drove myself 40 miles to hospital in labour (at 35weeks) and i'm over it. deep breaths and move on!

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