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To expect more family support?

(5 Posts)
GrownUpNow Thu 14-Jul-11 13:44:16

I've been ill for three weeks and counting with what started as a UTI, triggered my kidney stones and ended up in a full blown kidney infection resulting in an admission to hospital, intravenous antibiotics and home treatment from the ICT nurses at home.

My boyfriend has taken me in, helped me with my kids when I had them, let me sleep when I felt most ill and generally kept me sane. My school run friend has helped with a few pick ups and had my DD for me in the day since I got out of hospital. My DSs dad has taken him in full time whilst I am unable to leave the house.

So it's not that I am sitting here helpless, but I feel a bit upset that in the whole time my mum and my sister haven't been contacting me to see how I was, offered to assist with any care, and the one time I did ask for help with having my DD the night after I was released from hospital (my boyfriend's birthday) my mum made me feel unreasonable because "my boyfriend should be doing it" and I've had my first dose of antibiotics so should feel better soon.

I felt terrible already being admitted on his birthday, this is the first year since his mum died, his son and immediate family are away on holiday, and I was the only person going to spend the day with him. I was exhausted, sick with diarrhoea and just wanting to rest and be with him with no stress.

Maybe I was being unreasonable to ask?

bibbitybobbityhat Thu 14-Jul-11 13:51:38

Sorry to hear you are so poorly.

MooMooFarm Thu 14-Jul-11 13:54:46

Doesn't sound as if YABU to me. And sorry to hear you've been unwell.

But I'm wondering if you already didn't have a particularly great relationship with your mum and sister? It would seem very strange behaviour if you are close to your family, but not, if you're not, iyswim?

Families can be very strange sometimes, and the one thing I've learnt is that people often don't act the way you would expect them to - and there's usually nothing you can do to change that.

I don't blame you at all for being upset, but I would try to concentrate on the people who do look after you and treat you well, like your BF and friend, and try to not let the rest of them get you down. Hope you're feeling better now btw smile

MorticiaAddams Thu 14-Jul-11 14:01:06

YANBU. UTIs can make you very ill and they must realise that if you were taken into hospital.

I hope you feel better soon.

altinkum Thu 14-Jul-11 14:26:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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