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To want to tell ex's GF to keep her opinions to herself regarding DD??

(113 Posts)
runnyegg Thu 14-Jul-11 13:32:08

Just going through facebook I noticed DD(14) had written a status saying "u no i dunt no y i bover wiv u nemore". A lot of the teens write like this. Anyway underneath the wicked stepmother has written "for goodness sake, why do you write like you're stupid? you're 14 and you write like a 5 year old. It's not cool to be stupid, you know that right? you're doing an English GCSE next year for goodness sake." To make matters worse a number of DDs friends have "Liked" the stepmothers comment which will make DD mortified.

AIBU to send her a message asking her not to badmouth DD on her own facebook page??

TobyLerone Thu 14-Jul-11 13:34:04

YANBU re the stepmother. My ex's fiancée sticks her nose into everything regarding my children and it's very irritating.

YABU for thinking it's ok for your daughter to be writing like this. If my child ever wrote like this I'd have something to say, too.

JanMorrow Thu 14-Jul-11 13:34:44

Well in fairness I'd have commented with something similar!

SortingHardHat Thu 14-Jul-11 13:35:07

YANBU regards the stepmother.

YABU regards allowing your daughter to think it's ok to converse in text speak.

TheBigJessie Thu 14-Jul-11 13:35:37

Yes, you would be.

If your daughter is mortified, good. Better now, than in a few years time when she realises that she absent-mindedly sent a covering letter in "txt-speak" along with her CV, for a job she wanted.

Pagwatch Thu 14-Jul-11 13:36:18

Yanbu re the stepmother
Yabu to think teenagers all post like twits.

BimboNo5 Thu 14-Jul-11 13:36:55

She needs to learn spelling 'lyk dat' is going to make her look like an illiterate imbecile so YABU in mi onist opinun

Kayzr Thu 14-Jul-11 13:37:22

YABU!! I would have said the same thing. I hate text speak and if you DD is doing an English GCSE next year its about time she learnt to write properly

cheesesarnie Thu 14-Jul-11 13:38:11

im sure the step mother said what others were thinking.

runnyegg Thu 14-Jul-11 13:38:36

She does write properly other times though, it's only on facebook where she uses the text speak. Her English at school is fine.

Pootles2010 Thu 14-Jul-11 13:38:56

Hmm she probably shouldn't have put that comment on the facebook page, I'd have said it to her in person.

Also think it's very childish to be calling her 'the wicked stepmother'.

WhoAteMySnickers Thu 14-Jul-11 13:40:59

YABU. Your DD can remove the stepmothers comment if she's that bothered.

fuzzywuzzy Thu 14-Jul-11 13:42:26

If your daughter dislikes what her stepmother is saying I'm pretty sure she'll defriend her.

Leave them to it. Unless your DD approaches you let them sort it out amongst themselves.

HerHissyness Thu 14-Jul-11 13:42:40

take the ex GF OFF her FB friends.

Tillyscoutsmum Thu 14-Jul-11 13:42:42

Would you have felt the same if someone else had written the comment (an aunt for example ?)

oohjarWhatsit Thu 14-Jul-11 13:44:37

i think stepmum is 100% correct

InTheNightKitchen Thu 14-Jul-11 13:45:17

YANBU. She definitely shouldn't have written that comment. It seems to be calculated to humiliate her in a public place, and smacks of bullying.

Of course teenagers need to understand that different contexts require different styles of writing. The vast majority of young people who use 'textspeak' do understand this and would not use it in an exam or on a CV. But good luck convincing the MN spelling police!

Stepmum sounds likea bit of a loser - if she doesn't like textspeak, why is she FB friends with a 14 yr old anyway?

fastweb Thu 14-Jul-11 13:45:19

Regardless of how anybody feels about txt spk (hate it myself) it would have been kinder to speak to the girl privately rather than make critical comments in a public forum.

I would imagine it is the lack of sensitivity that the OP is reacting to. Which is not unreasonable. I don't think it is wrong to expect any significant adults in our children's lives to bring a little sensitivity to the table, be the relationship biological, legal, step or "in law".

It just helps avoid unnecessary cracks and strains in a family dynamic that may be a little more fraught than most. The fewer cracks\strains, the better it is for the kids.

wannaBe Thu 14-Jul-11 13:46:35

yabu. writing like that is bloody annoying and makes people look thick.

And I don't see why the stepmother shouldn't comment - I think your issue is with the fact she's the stepmother rather than the comment tbh

seeker Thu 14-Jul-11 13:47:06

Your dd is 14. More than old enough to tell her stepmother where to go if she wants to. Don;t under any circumstances get involved.

ScarletOHaHa Thu 14-Jul-11 13:47:29

LOADS of tween/teenager use this kind of text on FB. My nieces and nephews often make ridiculous spelling mistakes.

IMO it is very bad form for an adult to make a derogatory comment on FB - especially using the word stupid. She could have chosen a more mature and less public forum to make her feelings known. I suggest your daughter un-friends her.

Pandemoniaa Thu 14-Jul-11 13:47:40

I think stepmother's comment is spot on.Also your DD didn't have to befriend her, or facilitate comments from her so it is hardly reasonable to take umbrage over an honestly expressed opinion.

Incidentally, it is terribly last year to write in txtspk - even if you are 14.

TheBigJessie Thu 14-Jul-11 13:48:31

runnyegg: "She does write properly other times though, it's only on facebook where she uses the text speak. Her English at school is fine."

Yes, lots of people have said that to me. It's never been true, though. I hope for your daughter's sake, that she is the exception.

I'm an auntie (a mum too but my children aren't old enough for FB or the like) and when my 13-year-old niece put on her FB "I hate fuckin school, total shit hole" I said, Oi you, watch your language!

She DEFRIENDED me.... grin

So I asked her why, she said I affronted her & made her look about 6!

runnyegg Thu 14-Jul-11 13:49:24

She is a level 7C in English.

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