to be very pissed off with dp right now

[charliejosh]

it is our anniversary. We are not massive on anniversaries but 3 years is a mark no one thought we would make. I have sent him a lovely message from work saying we ought to celebrate.

He IS already 'celebrating' in the garden with his friends and some drinks/music etc whilst I am at work. he is going to be under the influence when he goes to get my ds from school AND there go my celebration plans for us this evening!

[ImperialBlether]

Is he going to be fit to pick up your son? Why is he at home when you're at work? (I'd find that difficult!!)

[LRDTheFeministNutcase]

Congratulations.

I have to say ... I think if you're not 'massive' on anniversaries and you've only just sent him a message now, he's not being unreasonable. How was he meant to know you'd choose this one to make a big deal of? It sounds as if he is dead pleased (like you) to have got this far.

I think the issue of him being drunk when collecting your DS is the bigger issue - that's really out of order! How does he explain that one?

[charliejosh]

He won't be drunk - he is having a couple of drinks. I am not overjoyed by this myself but he is responsible enough not to get intoxicated and then go to school for ds.

I forgot to mention earlier, today is my 1st session with a therapist for bi polar. He is aware of it and hasn't even mentioned it and KNOWS I might not be up for his friends being in my garden having fun when I get home...

[cheesesarnie]

id be cross at the drinking in the day.

[LRDTheFeministNutcase]

Well, if he will only have had a couple of drinks - and this is lunchtime so I guess it'll be a few hours later - is it really so bad?

I can see you're upset, but I think you're expecting him to be a mind-reader. How does he know you won't want his friends there? How did he react when you said you were upset?

[WhoAteMySnickers]

YABU. Why does him having a few drinks in the garden now affect your plans for celebrating this evening?

[charliejosh]

I haven't told him I am upset. The friends of his that are over have made it clear in the past they are not keen on me so I didnt want to cause any more friction. (they are bums, who don't work but always seem to have money to socialise and i think I have made it clear how i feel being a full time working mum)

[MumblingRagDoll]

Does your husband have a job? Also....I can't see why you're annoyed if he wont be drunk....that doesn't mean you can't celebrate does it?

The bums however....that's what's really annoying you isn't it?

[MrSpoc]

Sorry Op but YABVU on many levels.

You dont do annaverseries but thought 3 years was a big one???? Come on its only 3 years.
Your mad he has friends round and having a little drink at lunch time???? is this not aloud anymore?
You have bi-polar so maybe your view of his friends are skewed a little.

I also take it your son is not his. Becaue you said he needs to pick MY son up. (If your married he needs to see your son as his also).

Ease up on him, if you want to do something together then tell him and organise it. Try giving him some notice not an hour or two.

[ShoutyHamster]

A bunch of people who have made it clear that they don't like you (how fucking rude) are sitting in YOUR garden enjoying a drink while you're in work??

You don't want to cause any more friction? Why not? Wouldn't a bit of friction be a good thing? As in, when your friends can treat me with a bit of respect then they are welcome to come to our joint home, until that time, please see them elsewhere??

Your DH is beginning to sound quite nobbish, especially with your appointment being today. I'd be having a rethink on the not causing friction thing.

[LRDTheFeministNutcase]

Hey, it is not on to suggest someone's mental illness (which she is getting treatment for) makes their feelings or judgments less valid!

You are not her doctor, so don't pretend you can judge her medical situation.

[MrSpoc]

LRD I never said that, i said could her split personality may make her feel that her husbands friends dont like her. Aint that one of the things Bi-Polar does?