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Sneaky questions from my boss about how many DC I will have

(14 Posts)
KittyBump Wed 13-Jul-11 21:50:27

I'm currently on maternity leave and I went in to work today to pick up the forms I need to request new working hours.
My boss is a bit odd, kind of socially awkward or perhaps just a bit of a personality clash with me. Anyway, she was chatting to me about DD, is she good? Does she sleep well? etc. Then she throws in, so... do you think you'll have anymore? Now, I know she can't really ask me this, especially as she will be the one considering my request for reduced hours. But it would have been really uncomfortable to stop her in the middle of our supposedly harmless chit chat and call her on asking me a dodgy question.
So I just squirmed a bit and said, erm not right now no. The truthful answer is yes I'd like 4 grin so was IBU to give a sheepish non answer?

squeakytoy Wed 13-Jul-11 21:51:39

She can ask it you as part of an informal chat, which this was I assume.

You sound a bit paranoid to be honest.

TyMinisterForMagic Wed 13-Jul-11 21:52:10

YANBU I didnt know I wanted another till ds was 18months old, if you get pg again just shrug and say you changed your mind smile

Lilyloo Wed 13-Jul-11 21:52:24

yanbu who knows what is going to happen in the future

twinklegreen Wed 13-Jul-11 21:52:47

No YANBU she had no right to ask that sneaky question, it is unlawful.

VioletV Wed 13-Jul-11 21:53:35

YABU. It's not as if you're in an interview and she;s asking you. It's a normal question that people ask.

Desiderata Wed 13-Jul-11 21:55:26

Unlawful?

God help us all. Let's face it. If you were a boss, particularly at the moment, I wouldn't want to employ someone who wanted another three kids.

Chipotle Wed 13-Jul-11 21:56:18

God this sounds like my boss. My boss is amazingly socially awkward too!
Slightly different but I returned from maternity leave in March and I've just handed in my resignation because I've been offered a job elsewhere. My boss has been going on and on about how i shouldn't leave because I "must be thinking of having a second baby" and I'd be much better off staying put.

Be as sheepish as you like, but I prefer honesty... You should say that you plan on popping one out every year, you've always wanted an enormous family just like the Waltons!

AchtungBaby Wed 13-Jul-11 21:57:42

YANBU.

KittyBump Wed 13-Jul-11 21:59:59

Yes it is a normal question that's why it was tricky. Hmmm, she hasn't been very happy with me having a full year off and has asked several times if I'd like to come back sooner, including asking again today so that probably adds to my suspicion.
Yes it's not an interview but she can turn down my request for part time hours and she knows I can't return to the job full time so whether i'm likely togo offon maternity leave again may have some influence in her decision

flowery Wed 13-Jul-11 22:02:43

"Do you think you'll have any more?" in the context of an informal personal chat about your dd is not at all unlawful.

If you're not comfortable answering honestly by all means fudge the question so in response to your actual question, YABNU to give a sheepish non-answer. I agree it's slightly socially awkward of her to ask, and not particularly well-advised, but certainly not illegal.

KittyBump Wed 13-Jul-11 22:03:12

smile the waltons
DH doesn't want 4 so I shouldn't think we will be having another 3, but that was my honest answer to her question

ginmakesitallok Wed 13-Jul-11 22:03:52

YABU - sounds like normal chit chat to me. She can only turn your request down on business reasons - not on whether or not she thinks you're likely to go off on maternity leave again soon. And surely if she did think you were likely to go off again soon she'd be MORE likely to let you go part-time???

KittyBump Wed 13-Jul-11 22:08:19

Yes i don't think she would cite her reasons as that!
Well, if she refused the pt hours I would have to leave then she could replace me with a ft person. Maybe I am paranoid!

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