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to find it a tiny bit rude to be told "I'd rather have the cash, actually"?

(37 Posts)
CharlotteBronteSaurus Wed 13-Jul-11 20:17:35

when I asked a friend what if there was anything in particular he'd like for his birthday? whilst like most of us, he's not minted, I am not aware of him being in such dire straights he'd need to put the cash towards a bill or something.

I just found it a bit, i don;t know, distasteful, and am now tempted to get him some sort of figurine in protest...

catgirl1976 Wed 13-Jul-11 20:21:00

YANBU. That's pretty rude.

shakey1500 Wed 13-Jul-11 20:21:20

YABU. You asked, he answered. He also obviously feels comfortable enough to give that answer.

ggirl Wed 13-Jul-11 20:22:17


AgentZigzag Wed 13-Jul-11 20:26:14

For me, the problem with the person asking for cash would be that it's not the cost of the present that's important but the thought behind it.

It insinuates that how much you think of them will depend on how much you'd pay.

I think I'd be a bit peeved and think it was a bit cheeky, unless it's what shakey says and you're really close and he thinks you'd understand?

bubaluchy Wed 13-Jul-11 20:31:02

YANBU that is a tasteless request, loaded with expectation. Get him a random porcelain stalk and a Bible that says 'love from Jesus' in the front cover
or (this was given to me last Christmas) a Whippet calender (I am not associated in any way with animals let alone whippets! thall teach 'im! [big grin]

CharlotteBronteSaurus Wed 13-Jul-11 20:31:50

i wondered that shakey - you know, whether I should be flattered that he can be very honest with me?

But I'm just not. I don't just want to dump some cash in a card that will get swallowed up by a bar bill. I think my mistake was asking in the first place instead of just buying the figurine.

shakey1500 Wed 13-Jul-11 20:35:14

Personally I'd find it refreshing. Plus I am THE worst present buyer which is probably behind the speed of my "YABU" and am relieved more than happy not to trawl the shops looking to buy something for the sake of it.

TyMinisterForMagic Wed 13-Jul-11 20:37:49

My sil has started this, and due to her buying me shit at christmas <she spent 50p on me and I bought her a gorgeous make up set from Boots which I had trawled the shops for> we spend no more than £5 on her present now, now she is asking for cash it is embarrassing to give her a £5 note.

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay Wed 13-Jul-11 20:38:14


Whereas I agree with the reply "you asked, he answered" and so to that extent YABU, I'm afraid I find his response ill-bred.

An old-fashioned response from me, but it's how I feel, I'm afraid. No class in what he said, whatsoever.

Buy him vouchers from Monsoon. Silly sod that he is. Let him make of that what he will.

stretch Wed 13-Jul-11 20:42:09

Now normally I would say YABU, esp about a figurine as I HATE these grin but if it's going on a bar bill?? I don't know.

I am the sort of person that prefers getting cash or a voucher, this is because I spend very little on myself and I like to once a year go shopping for clothes etc.. but TBH, a gift is a gift and as long as there is some thought behind it..

Fuck it! I'll go with YANBU!! grin <gavel>

Hufflepuzzpig Wed 13-Jul-11 20:43:17

I think it's quite rude. Adults giving other adult friends money is a bit weird isn't it? I always thought that was more of an older-family-giving-younger-family type thing?

Hufflepuzzpig Wed 13-Jul-11 20:44:41

Ooh ooh if he literally said "I'd rather have the cash actually" you should soooo get him a Johnny Cash album grin

proudfoot Wed 13-Jul-11 20:45:17

YANBU it is cheeky and I LOLed at "figurine"... grin

AgentZigzag Wed 13-Jul-11 20:47:21

What did the tight cow she get you for 50p Ty?

AgentZigzag Wed 13-Jul-11 20:51:20

Another 'ill-bred' type of answer on AIBU LostMyIdent.

My mind is boggling about who we've been infiltrated by this time? Some etiquette publication forum? (if such a thing exists)

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay Wed 13-Jul-11 21:04:33

sorry, ZigZag, honestly don't see what your beef is with my reply.

Manners are manners. Why is it comment-worthy to talk about somebody having good manners? Being ill-bred is a synonym for that, not saying somebody is of poor 'breeding stock' iyswim - sorry, can't think of a less 'clunky' way of putting it.

What have I done that is so wrong?

Wow - is there an etiquette forum? I think I should be told. I can go try out my prejudices there! grin

spiderslegs Wed 13-Jul-11 21:10:56

There is alot of ill-breeding about at the moment apparently.

Can't move for it in AIBU.


AgentZigzag Wed 13-Jul-11 21:12:14

I'm quite in ill-bred spiders grin

AKMD Wed 13-Jul-11 21:16:53

YANBU, that is a pretty strange request. If my friend asked me what I would like, I'd say something like hand cream i.e. price range 99p-£99.

spiderslegs Wed 13-Jul-11 21:32:30

Maybe everyone has been reading this Agent

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay Wed 13-Jul-11 21:35:24

Feel free to have a giggle, but I'm still none the wiser. Have I stepped on toes inadvertently here? Unless put right and informed by you two bastions of MN, likely to do it again, I'm afraid.


AgentZigzag Wed 13-Jul-11 21:40:15

Bahahahahaa spiders grin <<but secretly fuming you've found my oasis in this chaotic sea of shite>>

And I'll thank you not to call people bastions Lost, bun fights have been started for less wink

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay Wed 13-Jul-11 21:43:56

Well, either entering the spirit, or making the biggest arse of myself yet known... I'll kindly ask you to refer to me as Ms Lost until we've been formally introduced.

I don't do "buns". All that white flour and raisins... <faints>

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions Wed 13-Jul-11 21:45:34

it is ill bred - meaning poor manners. I would never dream of answering that question with 'cash please!' If people ask me I usually try to think of something little like a mascara or a DVD. I'd always rather have a gift that someone has chosen for me than the cash value.

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