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to get annoyed when people say 'oh its because he is a boy'

(33 Posts)
StrandedBear Wed 13-Jul-11 17:13:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jacksmania Wed 13-Jul-11 17:16:56

YANBU. Sex stereotyping is crap. I have a boy (who is 3.5) and if he behaved like that it would be because he was being a stinker that day, not because he's a boy!
And I don't see what business it is of anyone's if you buy sturdy jeans for your DD.
<joins OP in rant>

TheBigJessie Wed 13-Jul-11 17:17:56

You're being totally reasonable. Totally.

Hufflepuzzpig Wed 13-Jul-11 17:19:36


Olivetti Wed 13-Jul-11 17:22:04

A number of my friend have boys, and they have said that around the age of 3 or 4 boys do get a massive testosterone surge, which makes them more aggressive. I have no idea whether this is true, just sayin'.

InPraiseOfBacchus Wed 13-Jul-11 17:23:26

Hands you a copy of Delusions of Gender YANBU. Sex stereotyping hurts children both ways. Would this mother punish a girl MORE for the same behaviour as a boy, fur the reason that girls are "supposed" to be inherently sweet-natured and gentle?

Kayzr Wed 13-Jul-11 17:24:18

YANBU I have 2 boys and I wouldn't sit there and let them act like that at all. My old next door neighbour used to let her DS1 spit at my boys, throw rubbish over the fence and even piss through the fence into my garden. But it was ok because he was a boy.

Tchootnika Wed 13-Jul-11 17:26:02

Olivetti - yes, it is true! (thank you for mentioning it.)
It can also affect hearing of boys around that age (which explains a lot...)

issynoko Wed 13-Jul-11 17:27:26

I heard about the massive testosterone surge but my son was too busy doing Lego for hours on end and drawing. He's a jolly, sensitive little 5 year old, described in is recent report as 'quiet, compassionate and concientious'. Must be gay.

4madboys Wed 13-Jul-11 17:39:09

it is true that around the age of four boys get a testosterone surge which can affect their behaviour, doesnt mean you let them get away with it tho!

i have FOUR boys and mine have all had their moments as ALL children do, but i dam well pull them up on it, my ds4 is 3 and will occasionally snatch etc he is firmly reprimanded and will give the toy back, say sorry and if he does it again and we are at toddlers he will have to sit at the side and not play for a few mins, or like last week when he was tantrum king (overtired i think..who knows...) i warned him and when he didnt listen i told him if it continued we would go home, he threw another tantrum so we went home!!!

btw i also have a 7mth old dd, who tho she has lots of pretty dresses etc is currently wearing a pair of dungarees that ALL four of my boys have worn before her and a blue hoody..she does have a long sleeved 'girly' coloured vest on underneath...whatever!

StrandedBear Wed 13-Jul-11 17:39:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

4madboys Wed 13-Jul-11 17:39:41

btw i fully expect that my dd will also tantrum and do the stuff toddlers do and she will be treated no differently to my boys!

StrandedBear Wed 13-Jul-11 17:40:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

4madboys Wed 13-Jul-11 17:43:17

nah i think thats too long! cant be bothered tbh, i was 3madboys then had ds4 and i like 4mad, so shall stick with that or else become 5andNOmore! grin

Kayzr Wed 13-Jul-11 17:44:41

StrandedBear it used to drive me mad until I'd had enough one day and rang the housing association about it. It stopped once they had been round. I was so so glad when DP asked me to move in with him.

aliceliddell Wed 13-Jul-11 17:47:18

or maybe even better - 4goodboysandaslightlynaughtygirl? YANBU at all.

Baggypussy Wed 13-Jul-11 17:53:49

Agreed. I hear it all the time.

Thing is, to me if a child is being a brat, then it's being a brat and needs pulling up on it pronto- regardless of whether or not said child has a penis or otherwise.

Teaandcakeplease Wed 13-Jul-11 17:56:58

Maybe I should read that book. I have to admit my son is a handful compared to my DC1 - a girl, who was a piece of cake. He is exhausting and does all the things in the OP blush Time outs seem to be the order of the day right now here sad

thursday Wed 13-Jul-11 18:15:14

4yr old boys losing hearing <ears prick up> my son is a demon atm and apparently cant hear a word i say. i'm going to google.

YANBU because even though boys that age do go all testeroney and a bit wild ime the last thing i'd do is say 'oh, its just how they are' as i seem to hear lots of 'oh its just how men are' too and it's bullshit. and as for the girls should be playing with dolls comment, what a weirdo! if she wants to turn a blind eye to naughtiness she's not going to be very popular and she's going to have trouble convincing the boy it's not his birthright to do what he likes.

but, i also think some mums of girls are a bit horrified and OTT about young boys. yes its unacceptable and needs addressing, but doesnt mean they aren't lovely boys and are tiny thugs in the making.

3littlebadgers Wed 13-Jul-11 18:18:33

YANBU. I have two darling boy flavoured children and a girl who likes to test me. Saying that though I do like the pretty dresses smile.

Psammead Wed 13-Jul-11 18:25:02


I often buy boys' trousers for DD.

Dexifehatz Wed 13-Jul-11 18:25:31

Stranded-You can't tell they are boy jeans though can you? I don't really buy this all girls clothes are pink and covered in glittery shit.There are sections for those kinds of clothes in various stores,but I've always found plain clothes for either sex.

youarekidding Wed 13-Jul-11 18:27:58

YANBU. I would never let my DS (and he's my pfb!) behave this way - thats not to say he hasn't tried it. grin

chumble Wed 13-Jul-11 18:28:14

YANBU I hate these sorts of excuses too.

This CHILD is badly behaved and that is it. He should be told off whether a boy or girl.

I also hate it when boys are described as 'boisterous' as if girls don't display similar behaviour.

The testosterone argument is an interesting one. I wonder what others think of this as women will use the hormonal argument for 'being a bit menstrual' and having PMT. Not sure whether we can accept one without the other.

I was always taught that hormones may play a part in how we feel however it is whether we CHOOSE to act on these feelings that is important!!! (runs away and hides!!!!)

LeonieDeSaintVire Wed 13-Jul-11 18:30:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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