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To wonder how many times those with young children have sex?

(41 Posts)
Angel786 Wed 13-Jul-11 14:53:55

My baby is under 1, I had a third degree tear and have been q tired / scared to have sex for a while.

As an aside, I also think most ppl who say their baby sleeps through the night are lying envy...

27tilly Wed 13-Jul-11 15:00:38

My youngest is 3 and eldest is 8, My youngest STILL wakes up in the night.

Stephiiebum Wed 13-Jul-11 15:08:13

My baby is 10 months and most nights i find him sat up awake when i go to check on him. Only does it once or twice so we have from 7.30pm untill around 6.00am to ourselves. Im dreading as he gets older the refusing to go to bed sad

StrandedHouseElf Wed 13-Jul-11 15:10:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Insomnia11 Wed 13-Jul-11 15:11:54

Well, we have two DDs, so at least twice. grin

OddBoots Wed 13-Jul-11 15:13:09

Much more than now we have older children who are up later at night and are more 'aware'.

EuphemiaMcGonagall Wed 13-Jul-11 15:13:58

How many times we have what now?


hoolabombshell Wed 13-Jul-11 15:19:55

Don't worry Angel I had a 3rd (just shy of 4th) degree tear with my now 21 week old, and due to complications we haven't even tried yet even though I'm gagging for it.

Add that to that fact that I went right off sex when I was pregnant...
Frustrated? Me? hmm

QuoththeRaven Wed 13-Jul-11 15:22:21

you're going to hate me. My youngest (5 months) sleeps through the night from about 7.30pm till about 8am. We have sex (either full, or i just give DH a bj/hj) about once a week. The latter is if i can't be bothered, he has quite a high sex drive and i have a low one. After my first was born (he's coming up to 3) we hardly ever did anything of that nature

rumpleteaser Wed 13-Jul-11 15:23:27

Not as often as we'd like sad. Ds is 15months and still sleeps in our room as his room isn't built yet. And daytime spontaneous sex hardly ever happens any more sad

dreamingbohemian Wed 13-Jul-11 15:24:39

Think it really depends on the sleep you can get! We managed fine when DS had periods of sleeping through but most of the time before he was 1 he woke several times a night, and then we were usually too cranky to have sex that often...

Since turning 1 DS has been sleeping amazingly well and so things are more or less back to normal. Enjoying it while it lasts! I take nothing for granted smile

Madsometimes Wed 13-Jul-11 15:25:51

Agree Oddboots. My dd1 (nearly 11) is often still awake at 9.30, even though bedtime is 8.30. Very hard to get privacy.

MrSpoc Wed 13-Jul-11 15:26:12


VelvetSnow Wed 13-Jul-11 15:26:19

DD is 9 months, I could count on one hand how many times we've slept together since then.

DD used to sleep through the night but is now waking at least 4 times each night - I couldn't care less about sex at the moment, all I want to do is sleep.

TheseThingsAreGoodThings Wed 13-Jul-11 15:29:05

Isn't that what afternoon naps were invented for grin?

Angel786 Wed 13-Jul-11 15:30:01

Hool! Mine was q similar... Tore through the back muscle and had to have surgery etc immediately after labour so we didn't even try until 4.5 months after. Have been told will need c section for any more. Since then it has been sporadic as I'm still recovering so sex is actually a bit of an effort (!) and not possible to get away with a quickie wink

DD goes to bed at eight, wakes up at half one for milk, then at half three (sometimes self soothes, sometimes needs a cuddle or pat) then at six thirty for milk and then up at eight. The lack of sleeping more than four hours in a row is taking it's toll.

Georgimama Wed 13-Jul-11 15:33:18

It's patchy. Well it's non existent at the moment as I am 37 weeks pregnant. The first time we had sex after DS was born was when he was 10 weeks old - I also had a 3 degree tear and pretty much had to force myself to do it. That sounds awful and makes my husband sound like a monster, actually I initiated it and was insistent that we got "back in the saddle" so to speak as I was worried if we didn't it would drag on and on.

DS slept v v badly but we managed about once or twice a fortnight after that for the first year or so of his life. After that we got back to normal and if anything I'd say our sex life was better between him being about a year old and me getting pregnant this time than it had been for years. For me sex is a habit, a very enjoyable one, but I find it easy to get into a rut of not bothering. Once I get into the habit of doing it more frequently I find I want more and more.

Angel786 Wed 13-Jul-11 15:36:22

Good point Georgi, I also forced the first time to exorcise the demons etc. Are you going for a 'normal' delivery this time? Still trying to figure out my options for a second baby.

dutchyoriginal Wed 13-Jul-11 15:40:28

DS is 15 months, still doesn't sleep through the night, but then again, neither does his dad smile.
[tmi alert]
We slept together several times in 2010 and last night for the second time in 2011... We're just too tired. However, we regularly ask the other whether they are "up for hot sex tonight?" and when the answer is "yes, but sleep would be even better", we sigh happily "was hoping you'd say that" grin.
Also, every time we do it now, it's really good, so there are some benefits to this situation. blush

should have namechanged for this post...

michelleseashell Wed 13-Jul-11 15:42:06

A couple of times a month. I could happily do a couple of times a week but we're both too tired and the baby is still in our room

hoolabombshell Wed 13-Jul-11 15:45:45

Angel it's interesting what you say about a c-section for any more babies - I think due to the level of physical distress of having my DS (induced, 3.5 hr labour, big tear like yours) I would be wanting a section next time.

Not that I'm complaining! Would do it all in a heartbeat as it was well worth it.

I had surgery straight after my tear too and because it healed up a bit "too well" I was facing the prospect of plastic surgery (and yet another recovery time without any action). I've since been told I probably won't need the surgery, instead given dilators to help sort myself out so to speak.

So sex is literally impossible until then. Depressing really sad

Shodan Wed 13-Jul-11 15:48:02

Up until a couple of months ago, we only got around to it once every three weeks or so. Now it's more frequent (due mostly, I think, to my having come off the pill and rediscovering my libido).

Sadly we have a 3 year old and a 15 year old, so our evenings are heavily curtailed at both ends. There's usually a window between 11.30 pm and 11.45 pm though- if ds2 doesn't wake up/we don't fall asleep/ds1 isn't awake in his room (our bed creaks)/ there isn't an 'r' in the month etc etc...

Angel786 Wed 13-Jul-11 15:48:47

True! Think they stitched me up a bit too well,hence it takes a while to get going in the bedroom, sorry if TMI!

I've had follow up tests and would love a c sec next ti e as this time took 4-5 months before I started to feel normal and not need the laxatives etc. Just got to make sure the hospital honours this as they said they'd give me a letter to this effect...

neptunesdaughter Wed 13-Jul-11 15:50:27

I'm the same - a third degree tear and resulting problems (anal fissures anyone? hmm) put me off for a long time. We did manage about 3 months after DD was born just to 'test it all out' and it was fine but just a bit uncomfortable and not that great.

Now she's 8 months old and does not (and never has) slept through the night so it's on a very ad hoc basis! We are both so tired a cuddle is what we look forward to. I know DH would like it more, but tbh he's knackered too! We both need to make more effort, but I have to say it's nowhere near what it used to be like for me, and so I'm not that keen...

MsTeak Wed 13-Jul-11 15:50:48

my youngest is almost 2. Last year, average maybe once a month, this year more like twice a week.

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