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To want to get married on the other side of the world?

(9 Posts)
ButterflySally Wed 13-Jul-11 12:23:41

Background info: DP and I have been together for years and are currently expecting our first little one. I am from abroad originally (from a country far, far away) but have lived in the UK for quite a few years now and met DP over here. My family all live in my home country. DP, meanwhile, is a Londoner and all of his family are in London. We own a house here, are happily settled here, and plan on staying here for the near future.

DP recently proposed smile

I want to get married in my home country. Even though we are happily settled here, I do get homesick at times and miss my family. They miss seeing us on a day-to-day basis, and will miss out on spending time with our new baby. So I feel it would be nice for us to at least allow them the pleasure of hosting our wedding.

DP is happy with the idea of getting married in my country but we have the issue of ensuring his family can all get to the wedding. There are people in his immediate family who would struggle to afford the flights (my family can supply enough accommodation for when they arrive). I feel a bit guilty insisting the wedding is in my home country knowing it will be hard for people to come. I would also hate for key people not to be able to be there (for DP's sake) and would consider helping people out financially to get there where we can but worry we can't afford it. We plan on giving people a couple of years notice so they can have the option of saving up if they are able to but I'm not sure this would be enough.

We could get married somewhere in between the two countries but we would still have the issue of getting all of DP's family there. As mentioned, I don't feel it is fair to my family for us to get married in the UK, either. As for running off and eloping...we have considered that (and it would be the easiest option!!!) but really want to celebrate our special day with family. I feel I am walking into a potential nightmare here and don't know how to keep everyone happy (and suspect it is impossible to keep everyone happy!).

Any thoughts / advice??

cestlavielife Wed 13-Jul-11 12:25:53

my borther gotmmarried in mauritius then adh big party back home in scotland for everyone to attend .

so you could have wedding there then another party/reception (where you can wear your dress a second time) for people in uk

EveryonesJealousOfWeasleys Wed 13-Jul-11 12:27:55

Hilariously the thread immediately below yours is AIBU to think the cost of attending a wedding is prohibitively expensive!!! grin

issey6cats Wed 13-Jul-11 12:30:44

one idea is you could get married in your home country and arrange a church based blessing ceremony here in uk for hubbys family which is very similar to a wedding with a party afterwards

5Foot5 Wed 13-Jul-11 12:33:17

Normally I don't have much sympathy for people who just want to get married somewhere abroad for the hell of it and then expect all their guests to stump up large sums of money and give up some of their annual leave from work so they can attend.

However, in your case I can completely see why you want to do this and YANBU in wanting to get married in your home country.

Perhaps, as cestlavielife suggested, you could have a separate party in the UK afterwards. Perhaps, help out the close familty members to attend the one in your country, e.g. DHs parents, and then have a super party afterwards in the UK for everyone else.

Definitely not the option of somewhere between the teo countries as that will just put everybody to a load of inconvenience and expense.

thursday Wed 13-Jul-11 12:39:20

sounds reasonable to me, you arent just expecting everyone to follow you on a whim to a destination you fancy. you want to get married at home, makes perfect sense. giving a couple of years notice is a good idea, but also consider having a party in London afterwards so that all the people who wont be able to afford to go but you'd ideally like to celebrate with can come. win win.

NoMoreWasabi Wed 13-Jul-11 12:53:24

YANBU to want to get married abroad in this case BUT YWBU if you make a fuss at all because members of DH's family don't attend due to the cost or other reasons.

Florabeebaby Wed 13-Jul-11 17:06:16

Sounds like the problem I had! In my case both me and DH are from abroad (2 different countries) but live in the . We decided to get married here, in a registry office with 2 witnesses and then throw 2 parties in both countries. There was no way of getting all the families together because of distance, money etc. etc. A bit unusual I know but it worked for us...and we got loads of pressies!!! grin

CheshireDing Wed 13-Jul-11 18:48:07

Why don't you elope then have 2 parties, one in the UK and one where your family are from?

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