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to come on here an moan about completely trivial shit, because I feel like shrieking OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and my family will think I am mad if I do

(56 Posts)
GetOrfMoiLand Tue 12-Jul-11 23:22:05

Where are all the fucking teaspoons? Where do they go? I bought a pack of 6 a couple of months ago and they are all GONE. Just had to make a cup of coffee with a big spoon. angry

There is seagull shit all over my new car. Why do seagulls flock in their millions here. The sea is 40 miles away.

I put my hand in the peg bag earlier and it was full of earwigs. Earwigs. I nearly shuddered to death.

Small things conspiring to ruin my evening.

squeakytoy Tue 12-Jul-11 23:23:39

Teaspoons vanish in this house too.. and I never know why.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Tue 12-Jul-11 23:24:42

They're with the single socks... it's a conspiracy. sad

worraliberty Tue 12-Jul-11 23:24:52

Teaspoons will be in the bin along with the empty yoghurt pots and boiled egg shells hmm

2littlegreenmonkeys Tue 12-Jul-11 23:25:14

Disappearing teaspoons piss me off I'm sure the DD's hide them from me just because they can!!!!!

Seagulls I'm a bit meh at, I live on the coast am used to them.

Urgh at the earwigs though!!

ChaosTrulyReigns Tue 12-Jul-11 23:25:45

NO hummus.

NO hummus.

<<phones London area and has words>>

madhattershouse Tue 12-Jul-11 23:25:55

YANBA!!! Cutlery, socks and pens dissapear in my house. I swear the kids must eat them.

suzikettles Tue 12-Jul-11 23:26:37

We're losing forks.

We also have no teaspoons, but that's a given. Where are all the FORKS?

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie Tue 12-Jul-11 23:26:45

I buy plastic teaspoons for the lunchboxes. I don't lose them anymore.

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 12-Jul-11 23:27:37

I am just going to buy a job lot of plastic teaspoons. This house is obviously like a truckers caff, they can't be trusted with metal ones.

perhaps I will buy my own teaspoon, and carry it around with me on a metal chain, like a chatelaine's keys.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Tue 12-Jul-11 23:27:58

Clearly, the seagulls take the spoons. Do things to them. Feed them to the earwigs that live in t'peg beg. Boo ya.

madhattershouse Tue 12-Jul-11 23:27:59

I had to resort to giving the kids plastic cutlrey when my parents came to dinner last week..I only had 6 forks and 7 knives left!!

suzikettles Tue 12-Jul-11 23:28:02

Also, we have 400 tupperware boxes. And 400 tupperware lids. And none of the lids fit any of the boxes.

ChaosTrulyReigns Tue 12-Jul-11 23:28:03

And the Chilli Jam has lemongrass in it.


Might as well squirty some swankypantsguusiedup Fairy Liquid on my cheese.

usualsuspect Tue 12-Jul-11 23:28:04

Why does the buzziest fly in the world keep buzzing past my ear,and landing on me ,all day its followed me around

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 12-Jul-11 23:28:45

Chaos I have got three pots of houmous (jalapeno, caramelised onion, normal) and can't eat them as on atkins diet. Probably why I am such a miserable bastard. grin

lubeybooby Tue 12-Jul-11 23:29:08

Cutlery, socks and pens here too. They get lured into another dimension I think.

URGH @ at the earwigs. I was weeding and disturbed a nest of them, and one bit my ankle. I didn't know the feckers could bite angry

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 12-Jul-11 23:29:55

There are HORSE FLIES in the garden. DP is bitten to pieces. Why aret he horseflies there? And the earwigs? It is like a tropical rainforest.

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 12-Jul-11 23:30:55

horrified at the idea of biting earwigs.

This reminds me of what my gran told me - don't go near earwigs, as they will crawl into your ear and attack your brain with the pincers.

madhattershouse Tue 12-Jul-11 23:31:23

It's woodlice here..under evry flowerpot and stone on the patio..urgh

iamabadger Tue 12-Jul-11 23:31:30

Boak at earwigs. Sorry Chaos I bought some hummus in London yesterday, I may be the source of your woes.

ChaosTrulyReigns Tue 12-Jul-11 23:32:07

Stop your bellyaching you miserable fecker doily.

Didn't you win a miniminiminimalistic fridge to hide stuff in a few hours ago?

You ungrateful wench.

Tuppenyrice Tue 12-Jul-11 23:32:13

I left a toy in the garden for a few days as I'm a lazy bastard. Huge mistake. Brought inside to wash it, disturbing NEST OF EARWIGS. I nearly vomited in my hummus.

ChaosTrulyReigns Tue 12-Jul-11 23:33:09


Bend over.


GetOrfMoiLand Tue 12-Jul-11 23:33:22


Yes I know. I fuck off great big fridge - I am truly delighted (well I was, until I came home)

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