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To be glad that dh is smoking again

(30 Posts)
dealer Tue 12-Jul-11 20:38:42

Of, course it would be the biggest regret ever if he developed cancer, but on the face of it he's always so much healthier when smoking.

During the time we've been together he's given up 3 or 4 times, the longest for over 2 years. But every time he gives up his childhood excema comes back, he gets really bad hayfever and is prone to coldsores, he also puts on weight. The longer he gives up for the worse it gets, so after 2 years his excema was dreadful, but within 2 weeks of starting again it had virtually disappeared. I can only assume that smoking blocks out the allergens (or something?).

PotteringAlong Tue 12-Jul-11 20:40:36

If he gets lung cancer I dOn't think regret is even going to cover it...

Do you have children?

MorticiaAddams Tue 12-Jul-11 20:41:01


dealer Tue 12-Jul-11 20:42:17

Yes, seriously. He's an absolute wreck when not smoking!

Sassybeast Tue 12-Jul-11 20:44:11

Yeah - much better to die coughing your lungs up and bleeding to death with a lung cancer than hayfever. And at least if he gets cancer in his mouth, it'll eat his lips away so he won't have to worry about cold sores. Best all round though if just developes a blood clot and drops down dead with a heart attack or stroke - then he won't have to stress about the weight eh?

PotteringAlong Tue 12-Jul-11 20:45:25

Do you have children? Actually, what about you? Do we really need to talk about passive smoking?!

dealer Tue 12-Jul-11 20:46:36

It's weighing up the risks though isn't it?
He won't definitely get cancer, but he does suffer (much less so)on a daily basis. I've definitely got to the point where I'm wondering whether the gamble is worth it.

DragonAlley Tue 12-Jul-11 20:50:28

Are you a bit thick?

MirandaGoshawk Tue 12-Jul-11 20:51:03

Have you looked at those photos on fag packets? I'd prefer hay fever & eczema, but would be looking for reasons/treatments/ways of getting the weight off, not saying 'Back to smoking'. Smoking isn't a normal state of affairs. It is a horrible, pointless, expensive, stupid addiction. He has given up. He can do it again and be healthier as a non-smoker than as a smoiker.

dealer Tue 12-Jul-11 20:51:12

I have 3 children, the youngest of which is his.
Dad to the eldest 2 died 6 years ago. So I guess that probably makes it even worse.
I used to volunteer in a hospice, so I'm aware of cancer suffering.
I used to be very anti-smoking, but as time's gone on I can completely understand why he wants to smoke because life is just so uncomfortable otherwise.

MorticiaAddams Tue 12-Jul-11 20:51:22

I used to tell the kids off for using the word stupid but I don't think there's another appropriate word here.

Lady1nTheRadiator Tue 12-Jul-11 20:51:34

Hmm coldsores, hayfever, eczema vs cancer... tough call?

lachesis Tue 12-Jul-11 20:51:51

He might get cancer, but he might also get hit by a bus tomorrow. My mother has smoked for 57 years. She's in her mid-70s. No cancer or the like.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 12-Jul-11 20:52:47

What did he do in that time to tackle his physical problems - surely the money saved from not smoking he could have paid privately to see an allergy specialist/eczema specialist/dietitian?

Lilyloo Tue 12-Jul-11 20:54:27

This has to be one of the most ridiculous op's ever, i am truly shocked

dealer Tue 12-Jul-11 20:56:56

He's certainly seen countless excema specialists, none of which have had any effect at all.
He didn't see a dietician, but did join a gym and buy a bike. His diet's not bad.

oohjarWhatsit Tue 12-Jul-11 20:58:56

or he could have a very slow lingering death with emphysema

not moving two yards without an oxygen mask

still as long as the eczema is controlled, hey ho

PotteringAlong Tue 12-Jul-11 21:01:23

So you would expose 3 DC to cigarette smoke and all that entails because, on balance, it's better than DH being uncomfortable? And yes, I know how dreadful excema can be and I'm not trying to belittle it but I simply can't reconcile that with the risk of cigarette smoke for you, your DH and your DC.

YABU on almost every level

LaurieFairyCake Tue 12-Jul-11 21:02:03

Ok, but I honestly don't understand how smoking stops him getting cold sores/eczema/hayfever confused

If that's true and his daily life is as crappy as you've said it is then I think it's the lesser of two evils to take up smoking again.

Now you have to work on 'harm reduction' - he needs to figure out how many cigarettes he 'needs' to smoke to alleviate his symptoms and get the lowest tar possible, with the leasy amount of chemicals. Hopefully that figure will be very low.

An also look at some alternative treatments - I know an amazing cold sore cream which was recommended by that Sunday Times woman which I've used before - can't remember what it's called though.

Maybe other mumsnetters can suggest eczema/hayfever treatments - local honey is supposed to work really well - a teaspoon a day all through the year.

lachesis Tue 12-Jul-11 21:02:32

She never said he was smoking around them.

If he's happy being a smoker, and you're okay with it, and you know what could happen, it's really his business.

Jackin Tue 12-Jul-11 21:09:15

eczema is linked to stress, so that might have something to do with it. Don't know about hay fever though. Periton Maybe?

Nanny0gg Tue 12-Jul-11 21:10:09

"He might get cancer, but he might also get hit by a bus tomorrow. My mother has smoked for 57 years. She's in her mid-70s. No cancer or the like."

Lucky her.
I wish my mother had made it to 57.
Dead at 53 from emphysema. An illness I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I still can't watch those anti-smoking adverts where you just hear someone gasping for breath.


And OP, well, words actually fail me.

lachesis Tue 12-Jul-11 21:21:40

It's a legal activity. He's made a choice. He knows all that can happen. Some people get cancer, some people get emphysema, others don't. He knows the risks.

SomethingProfound Tue 12-Jul-11 21:21:51

I understand being glad that your DH is no longer suffering from these problems, but surly there is a better option than smoking? Have you told the doctor that these problems seem to coincide with him not smoking? They may have an idea why that is and can therefor do something to help with out your husband having to resort to smoking, as I'm sure that you understand that smoking is not a long term solution.

Nanny0gg Tue 12-Jul-11 21:31:25

lachesis Not disputing it's legal, it's the flippancy of X has done it for 100s of years and it hasn't hurt them.

One anecdote doesn't a rule make. Especially when there's overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

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