Mr Hunt I have 3 dc's. Ds2 was diagnosed with Aspergers years ago, at which point we all realised Dh has it too!
He is lovely. I am enormously lucky and grateful, and our relationship is, by and large, a good one. However, there are some aspects of the relationship which I am finding increasingly difficult.
Mr Hunt is NEVER enthusiastic about anything. The gushiest he gets is to describe something as 'fine'. This applies to....our children singing/playing music etc in public in a way which makes me cry with pride, our wedding day, our home, every meal we have, every holiday/ outing...basically all of our lives. He has very straightforward needs, and beyond those cannot see the point of anything extra...ie.nice walks, picnics, pets of any kind,more dc's , anything! He sees all these things as 'needless hassle'.
He also struggles enormously with conversations that aren't about concrete things...you know the kind of thing...when you are on holiday and you say 'Oooh, imagine if we moved here, we could live in that cottage, I'd work in the restaurant', knowing it's not true, but he'll say 'Well, the council tax would be very high and there is no decent public transport' or something!
We also have no way to resolve conflict because he will not discuss anything. He does not believe in compromise, believing that it just leaves one party dissatisfied, and does not apologise because 'it doesn't change anything'.
I know I sound like a whinger, and I do know how lucky I am in other ways, so please don't flame me! I also know that this stuff isn't his fault.
I just feel really lonely, as if we have no shared experience. I love him so much, but I fear that his being with me is more a rational decision that a heart one. I need top tips on how to phrase things in a way that he will understand, and maybe a bit of a shoulder to cry on when it all gets a bit much.
Sorry for rambling.
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104 replies
CareyHunt · 12/07/2011 12:41
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