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to tell my parents that they are a disgrace

(89 Posts)
popele Mon 11-Jul-11 13:36:38

My brother is graduating from university next week and he is the first in my family to ever do so. The ceremonys next week but now my parents have booked a late availability holiday to Spain and so aren't going anymore. My mum says the deal was too good to miss and so they are going to Spain instead.

Iwantscallops Mon 11-Jul-11 13:38:19

I would have to tell them. That is awful.

gramercy Mon 11-Jul-11 13:39:24

YANBU - from what you say they are a disgrace. I hope you can go instead.

ThisIsJustASagaNow Mon 11-Jul-11 13:40:19


Snuppeline Mon 11-Jul-11 13:40:36

Yes go in their stead and treat your brother to a much deserved lunch/dinner (even if its just down the pub!).

popele Mon 11-Jul-11 13:41:53

I'm going to try and organise things so that I can go.

AuntiePickleBottom Mon 11-Jul-11 13:42:23

Yanbu how awful for your brother

EuphemiaMcGonagall Mon 11-Jul-11 13:42:23

Selfish gits - that's the kind of thing my parents would do!

I agree with Snuppeline - treat him to a lovely lunch. smile

altinkum Mon 11-Jul-11 13:42:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OTheHugeManatee Mon 11-Jul-11 13:43:31

YANBU. Congratulations to your brother - hope you can be there with him.

WinkyWinkola Mon 11-Jul-11 13:44:52

YANBU. Have they always been this unsupportive? This amazes me. I mean my mum was pretty hands off in terms of support but when I got my degrees she was there on graduation day.

popele Mon 11-Jul-11 13:46:42

My dad thinks that he's wasted the last 3 years of his life even though he's got a first and is walking into a very well paid job. They've held strange views and done weird things but this is worst by a long shot.

oohjarWhatsit Mon 11-Jul-11 13:47:27

i was annoyed when my sister wouldnt come to mine, i would be devastated if my mum and dad chose not to go sad

mumblebum Mon 11-Jul-11 13:48:41

Awww that's a shame, I hope you can manage to go, I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

Sarsaparilllla Mon 11-Jul-11 13:48:45

How sad for your brother, and how odd for them to think he's wasted 3 years when he has a degree to show for it and a well paid job? sad

popele Mon 11-Jul-11 13:49:56

My dad doesn't regard it as a proper job because he has "to sit in an office on a computer all day"

Tchootnika Mon 11-Jul-11 13:50:05

YANB entirely U, but....
there are a huge range of attitudes to grad ceremonies (my DPs wouldn't have considered going to mine, and I wouldn't have expected them to, which isn't to say that they didn't care about my education and achievements. They did, enormously...)
I wouldn't equate not going to grad ceremony with being unsupportive, but I do think idea of you going, lunch, etc., is a really good one. Might as well make most of the opportunity, rather than focussing on perceieved negatives, surely?

Glitterknickaz Mon 11-Jul-11 13:50:05

That's appaling shock

Sarsaparilllla Mon 11-Jul-11 13:50:51

Oh and YANBU unreasonable to tell them, I would

MsAnnThroppy Mon 11-Jul-11 13:51:56

Your parents sound like morons.

Hammy02 Mon 11-Jul-11 13:52:32

Could it be sour grapes? I assume he will be earning more than his father? Not that this is an excuse by the way.

Cleverything Mon 11-Jul-11 13:54:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itisnearlysummer Mon 11-Jul-11 13:56:37

Ah one of those, 'it's not a real job unless you get your hands dirty' types.

Frankly I think it's appalling. Whether they agree with HE or not, their son worked bloody hard to get a first and they, as his parents, should be proud of him and show their support by seeing him attend the graduation ceremony.

Perhaps they are a bit jealous of his success?

My mum is always a bit down on anything I achieve because she's jealous of the opportunities I've had/created for myself.

latitude Mon 11-Jul-11 14:04:32

YANBU your brother sounds to have done very well considering he's been brought up by people with such a limited outlook. If I were you I'd move heaven and earth to make sure I could go.

Georgimama Mon 11-Jul-11 14:07:47

They sound similar to my husband's parents. YANBU but I wouldn't bother as it would be a total waste of breath to tell them. Just go yourself and make a big fuss of his fantastic achievement.

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