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AIBU to think that my 'friend' is taking the p**s ?

(19 Posts)
sssj72 Sun 10-Jul-11 21:56:00

Even my dh is raising an eyebrow & he does not normally notice anything! My friend has 3 dc & her dh works away from home alot. Here goes some examples Can you take my dd to school/pick her up, can you babysit, can you charged my phone, can you give me some coffee, can you get me this from the suppermarket then when she has got it she sometimes tells me she does not have money on her so will get it to me once she gets to the bank, can you give me a lift & 9/10 when she calls she wants something .There have also been a few times when we have arranged to meet & she does not turn up because she forgot. Sometimes she can be a bit offish with me & I do not know why, quite often her suggestions of doing this or that never come off but then all of a sudden she can be really nice (without wanting anything). I end up feeling quite confused to what is going on. What do you think?

worraliberty Sun 10-Jul-11 21:57:56

I think she can only take the piss if you let her do it.

RuthChan Sun 10-Jul-11 21:58:12

She sounds very needy and demanding.
Does she only do this to you or to other people as well?
It doesn't sound like she copes very well with the daily comings and goings of life.

LesserOfTwoWeevils Sun 10-Jul-11 22:00:30

Do you ever say no?

hester Sun 10-Jul-11 22:01:47

I think you should run a mile.

cookcleanerchaufferetc Sun 10-Jul-11 22:04:56

I think you should start asking her for favours and see what response you get. Sadly it probably won't be nice and you should distance yourself.

WhoAteMySnickers Sun 10-Jul-11 22:05:01

Start saying no to her requests, you'll soon see how much of a friend she is.

squeakytoy Sun 10-Jul-11 22:06:14

As Worra said.. as long as you continue to be a doormat, she will walk all over you.

Shtiv Sun 10-Jul-11 22:07:00

You are being very unreasonable. She is your friend and friends are meant to be there for each other. I don't think you're a very nice person.

sssj72 Sun 10-Jul-11 22:08:45

I have said no to her before & it felt great! You are right Worraliberty I just wanted to see if I might be right in my thinking of this situation or if I was reading in to things to much.Sometimes you need to hear the views of people who are not directly involed in the situation to confirm things! Time for me to do something about it.

sssj72 Sun 10-Jul-11 22:12:10

But Shtiv isn't friendship a two way thing? Give & take not always take & no give .

pigletmania Sun 10-Jul-11 22:17:26

shtiv friendship is not one sided, and this person is just taking the pee, it sounds as though she is using the op, and is not really interested about being her friend. Not much of a friendship if you ask me.

thursday Sun 10-Jul-11 22:17:28

she sounds lie a leach if she isnt doing the same favours for you. remedied by the use of 'no, sorry, i can't' and see what happens.

northerngirl41 Sun 10-Jul-11 22:20:41

Would she do these things for you if you asked? If so, I think it's fair enough for her to ask - and also fair enough if you decide you don't want to.

If she wouldn't return the favour, then point that out. Also ask her "why would I want to do that?" You'll certainly get some interesting responses!

FabbyChic Sun 10-Jul-11 22:21:23

This lady is just taking and not giving, that is not a friendship, that is someone taking the piss.

Walk away and find some friends who are willing to put in what they get back.

belledechocchipcookie Sun 10-Jul-11 22:22:17

I think you need to learn how to say 'no.' You sound lovely but she's walking all over you.

sssj72 Sun 10-Jul-11 22:31:09

I would help anyone out in need so I am slighty bemused at shtiv response as I have done loads to help my friend out & I agree that friends should be there for each other but I do not feel that I get this from my friend. I think my problem is I only want to see the best in people and sometimes that can be at my expense sad I am now feeling quite positive about sorting this out thanks to your advice !

MsAnnThroppy Sun 10-Jul-11 23:09:32


ImperialBlether Sun 10-Jul-11 23:15:55

Every time she calls you, say "Oh I was just calling to ask you the same thing!"

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