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To ask what do you think of father's for justice

(128 Posts)
AuntiePickleBottom Sun 10-Jul-11 21:25:51

having supported DH in his fight to see his DD, i can understand why some father's want to take action.

at the same time i can understand why some mother's refuse access

worraliberty Sun 10-Jul-11 21:28:27

I think they've taken some of their demonstrations too far, but I agree with what they're fighting for.

It seems odd in this day and age that most people still automatically assume children will live with their Mum when the relationship breaks down.

Mowlem Sun 10-Jul-11 21:30:35

Hmm, is this going to be the second thread you've started and then left?

Anyway, I think the premise is all wrong - it shouldn't be justice for fathers, but what is right for the children. Responsibility before rights IMHO (but I apply that equally to mothers too, unfortunately not all parents see this) .

bibbitybobbityhat Sun 10-Jul-11 21:34:22

I believe Fathers For Justice is not a popular organisation on mn, so you may well hear lots of negative comments, just warning you.

(Btw, its mothers and fathers - no need for an apostrophe, they are just straightforward plurals.)

AuntiePickleBottom Sun 10-Jul-11 21:34:45

but if the fathers can get access to there children, how can they be responsible....i know they can start by giving the RP money to finacally support there children but how else

AuntiePickleBottom Sun 10-Jul-11 21:35:47

*can't get access

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 10-Jul-11 21:46:16

well you asked what we thought of FFJ so here goes.

I'd be willing to bet £100 that the majority of those men had divorce actions brought against them by their then wives for unreasonable behaviour. UB covers many things - including domestic abuse.

The mothers who don't want their children to have any contact with their fathers probably have very very good reason for that. Abusive men nearly always try to continue to abuse using the children as weapons following divorce.

However, I accept that there may be the odd woman who just wants to be awkward and spiteful.

And of course fathers should pay for their kids even if they don't see them. Kids aren't "pay-per-view" items.

AuntiePickleBottom Sun 10-Jul-11 21:48:17

i agree kids are not pay-per-view.

worraliberty Sun 10-Jul-11 21:54:43

I've known far more than the "odd woman" try to 'replace' their children's Father with their new partner.

The Fathers in question have been no more a bad parent than the Mothers themselves...yet they nit pick everything the guy does.

Yes, there are many twattish Fathers out there but to be honest, there's no always as many as some Mothers try to make out.

worraliberty Sun 10-Jul-11 21:55:15


maypole1 Sun 10-Jul-11 21:55:33

Yes have to agree many men seek custody or more contact in a view to get at or disrupt the mum and punish her

All the while not paying any money towards the kids

I once saw a documentary about f4j and I was apples pit was advice on how to get out of paying for the kids bragging about how they had got one over on the mother

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 10-Jul-11 21:57:21

Well if women are just as bad then why are 80% of divorces instigating by them. Surely if they were as bloody unreasonable to live with as the men then the men would be divorcing them?

AuntiePickleBottom Sun 10-Jul-11 22:00:52

worraliberty, i think that is what happened in DH case.

we know dd is being well cared for and is a happy little girl, we put money in a saving account for her as every time we gave the mother a check she would send it back

BelleDameSansMerci Sun 10-Jul-11 22:03:30

I am deeply suspicious of this organisation.

tokle Sun 10-Jul-11 22:05:53

I think there is an issue in this area and I don't understand why the mother gets automatic custody when relationships break down but I don't the way F4J operate.

maypole1 Sun 10-Jul-11 22:08:05

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow because a lot of men cheat I am sure those who cheated would love to have a second chance a not get a divorce but we can all dream also dv again i am sure after the mans battered his wife he is not the one who files for divorce it will be her won't it so its not rocket

Many what nothing to do with their child and try anything they can to get out of paying

maypole1 Sun 10-Jul-11 22:13:19

Token they don't who told you that the person who is more likely to get custody is the primary carer which is usually the mother but not always if the mum is a high flying executive and worked 60 hours a week and dads a cab driver who works flexi time and is the main carer its highly unlikely mum would get the children it's about continuity for the child why would you remove a child from a sham who attends all school plays cooks the tea and move them school and from their home to live with their dad who works 60 hours and is not home before 10

As more women choose their jobs over family life more men have custody for their children but until men are the majority primary carers of children its unlikely majority man will get custody unless somthing is really wrong with the mum

scottishmummy Sun 10-Jul-11 22:13:57

geeks and assorted gimps in costumes
any serious point is lost to the stunts and bulgy eyed rants they seem to favour

Sidge Sun 10-Jul-11 22:19:20

I think if some of the fathers spent half as much energy trying to gain access to their children through the appropriate channels as they do scaling buildings illegally whilst wearing fancy dress they might actually see some results.

Sassybeast Sun 10-Jul-11 22:22:31

Bullies and abusers who have bullied and abused their way through their marriages and who, when their wives and the law finally stand up to them go to extremes to prove that they are (in their eyes only) STILL the victims. Or is that a fairly sweeping generalisation ? wink

edam Sun 10-Jul-11 22:26:02

<<applauds>> Sassy

troisgarcons Sun 10-Jul-11 22:26:13

Hmmm i've also known a couple of women who were out and out bitches and denied access simply because their pex's moved on and had new relationships.

oops I forgot - on MN - Mums rule and Blokes are absolute shits who should only pay through the nose and never darken doorsteps again

Jellykat Sun 10-Jul-11 22:29:21

I too am highly suspicious of them.. The Family courts are pretty even handed re, access these days. They no longer favour the mum as was often previously assumed by many..

I reckon if these Fathers were denied/ had limited access there's got to be a good reason why.

Plus i remember watching a really damning documentary about them years ago, the core members at the time had really aggressive atitudes towards women in general.

sunshineandbooks Sun 10-Jul-11 22:35:36

F4J founder Matt O'Connor started F4J when his XW prevented him from having access to their DC.

The reason? He was an angry drunk - by his own admission. He thought this in no way impeded his ability to look after his child. hmm

When he sobered up and stopped being an arse, his XW allowed him to have access again.

I'd say his XW was a woman protecting her child, not an "out and out bitch".

Several of the core founders have been arrested for abusive behaviour. Kind of lends credibility to the idea that their XPs were telling the truth about them being abusive etc.

Not doing a lot for their own cause really are they.

VioletV Sun 10-Jul-11 22:36:35

tokle You don't understand why mothers get automatic custody?! Really?!

I think if men could get pregnant and have a baby in their womb for 9 months and give birth, you know share the pain and all that maybe then it would be fair to give them some custody!

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