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AIBU?

to think a lot of posters here believe the ONLY reason they are in a well paid is because they worked so much harder than anyone else and good luck and favourable circumstances had NO BEARING AT ALL

383 replies

ssd · 10/07/2011 19:45

GOD there are some amount of smug posters here who seem to believe they are so far above the rest of us lowly workers, they can't stop telling us how hard they have worked, how academic they are etc etc and if you're not, well really you probably claim benefits and expect the system to help you out with your crap paid job

well guess what folks, some of us are in crap paid jobs due to unforeseen life events, not because we spent years at school studying and trying hard so we could earn minimum wage and be lectured to by people who don't have to compromise all their bloody lives

OP posts:
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catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 19:46

Wow. Little bitter?

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ssd · 10/07/2011 19:47

no just sick of the patronising going on here these days

OP posts:
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katkitya · 10/07/2011 19:50

I haven't noticed it. Not even on the renting a flat thread I started. I don't see it at all. Everyone is from different walks of life here but, I don't see any smugness.

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activate · 10/07/2011 19:51

well paid is subjective

good academics plus working hard plus integrity plus an ability to jump at chances plus luck leads to better pay

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ssd · 10/07/2011 19:52

maybe i'm reading the wrong threads

OP posts:
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emodi · 10/07/2011 19:53

i am in a well paid job and i do work hard but i believe in luck being in the right place at the right time. I am a christian and in the bible there is a passage "The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happens to them all." I think in life a little bit of luck goes a long way.

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BeerTricksPotter · 10/07/2011 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreBeta · 10/07/2011 19:55

You are right. Only up to a point does hard work and qualifications lead to a good job. Life events have a much more dramatic impact. Indeed, the date you were born and who your parents are matter just as much and nobody has any influence over those two factors.

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ajandjjmum · 10/07/2011 19:55

Although there are a lot of people who think the harder you work, the luckier you get.

Sorry op, only saying........Grin

I think few of us can be smug in this economic climate.

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catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 19:55

I am also in a well paid job. I work my arse off and I have to make a lot of sacrifices to maintain it but I do acknowledge my luck in having it.

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mousesma · 10/07/2011 19:55

It's true that not everyone in a "low paid" job is there because they lack ambition or haven't worked hard but equally not everyone in a "high paid" job is there because of luck. Sometimes people have got to where they are because of hard work and sacrifices and they have a right to feel proud. Yes sometimes luck pays a part too but it doesn't negate the hard work.

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catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 19:56

Oh and I don't take it for granted the way things are atm either

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oohjarWhatsit · 10/07/2011 19:56

its not what you know, its who you now :)

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oohjarWhatsit · 10/07/2011 19:56

know even

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catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 19:57

that isn't really true for the most part oohjar

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SmethwickBelle · 10/07/2011 19:59

In my industry you're largely right in that in order to get a foot in the door certainly 10 years ago you'd have to be prepared to work for free for a bit or for pennies and that's an awful lot easier if you have parents who could sub you the difference or cushion you as you work through that first stage.

Once you're in it is a lot easier to move about and up so it automatically excluded those who were reasonably relying on the job they spent their hours doing, to pay their rent.

Fortunately this whole "unpaid internship" nonsense is on the way out, officially at least, and good thing too.

Clearly going to university is prohibitively expensive now, when I went it helped to have a buffer of cash from parents, now it seems like a necessity.

I know I am privileged, I am grateful, and I CERTAINLY work bloody hard to maintain it and to do the same for my children but I know I've had opportunities other people haven't.

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proudfoot · 10/07/2011 20:00

Haven't seen threads like this but OP, YABU and bitter.

If you work hard then chances are your "luck" will increase... people are not dealt their hand in life totally at random Hmm

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Northernlurker · 10/07/2011 20:00

I think lots of people compromise for some of their life to some degree. I'm struggling a bit to believe in somebody who has no choice at all but to compromise for all of their life.
OP - yabu. If others have worked hard - well good for them. Luck gets yoy only a very, very short distance. Don't diminish other's efforts just because you haven't achieved similar.

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Caan · 10/07/2011 20:01

I have noticed this as well. people seem to think they are well paid because they work hard. millions of people work hard for a pittance. lots of people don't get the opportunities that others do. I could have gone to university but my dad died and I felt I should stay home and look after my mum.

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rainbowinthesky · 10/07/2011 20:01

Whilst there is of course a lot of truth in what the op says, many women are in lower paid jobs because they chose to stay at home with their dc and not use childcare. I have seen this viewpoint on many threads on mumsnet.
I didnt make this choice so therefore chances are I will earn more money, have a better job etc than them. That's nothing to do with luck etc.

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peppapighastakenovermylife · 10/07/2011 20:01

AIBU to think that some people make presumptions about people in well paid jobs Hmm

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ThisIsANiceCage · 10/07/2011 20:01

YANBU.

But it's not an MN-thing. It's typical for human beings. The Just World Hypothesis and Fundamental Attribution Error go some way to explain it.

But basically, people tell themselves that if bad things happen to other people, those people have deserved it. And conversely, if good things happen to themselves, it's because they're worth it.

Have so many times seen eg thread with eg commercial lawyer saying they deserve to be rich because they've worked so hard, right next to thread with nurse doing unpaid hours at beginning and end of shift saying they can barely pay the bills.

And it extends all the way down. I've worked with kids who are convinced they are entitled to the advantages their parents are busy buying them. Erm, not a sign of your own moral worthiness, dearie.

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proudfoot · 10/07/2011 20:01

Going to university is not prohibitively expensive. You need absolutely no cash upfront at all.

Success is NOT about "who you know not what you know". People who believe this are making excuses and are obviously not goo enough to get anywhere on merit.

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LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 10/07/2011 20:01

from the other point of view, OP, it is not unreasonable to point out that there are large numbers of people (not even MNers, just 'whoever'...) who did fuck all at school, continued to do fuck all after school, walked into dead end jobs and moaned their faces off about it - and then expect some kind of WAG lifestyle.

Is that not true?

Oh. Hang on. I think I just made a massive generalisation, non?

I am deffo reading the wrong threads, I think - where are all these chippy posters?

I agree with most posters on here. I've made a good rule of work my balls off, praying occasionally and not discounting Lady Luck.

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catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 20:03

people seem to think they are well paid because they work hard well they would stop paying me pretty quickly if I knocked off the 60 hour weeks (25 hour of which are technically unpaid and not formally required)

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