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to take my screaming baby off someone

(28 Posts)
bambinoblue3 Sat 09-Jul-11 20:49:00

We were just at a family party with my 5week old baby who gets very cranky at this time of night and was being held by distant family member. He started to cry but I just left him till he got hysterical and I took him off the family member.

AIBU to expect someone to give baby back to the parent if they are that upset and they can't calm him down.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin Sat 09-Jul-11 20:53:03

I'd expect the parent to take the baby back sooner. The relative wouldn't necessarily get that it was the start of a full on wailing session, but te parent would know that it wasn't just grizzling.

Wheeelybug Sat 09-Jul-11 20:54:02

YABU to not have take him back straightway smile

chunkyjojo Sat 09-Jul-11 20:54:21

I dont understand, was the person refusing to givbe the baby back?

Sirzy Sat 09-Jul-11 20:54:57

I would have took him back straight away

Besom Sat 09-Jul-11 20:55:04

Not too sure what the issue is here. Were they refusing to give baby back to you?

squeakytoy Sat 09-Jul-11 20:55:20

Sorry but unless you offered to take him when you could see he was getting upset, then you are being unreasonable.

At 5 weeks the baby doesnt know if it is a distant relative or their granny, and probably only know you.

DogsBestFriend Sat 09-Jul-11 20:55:33

A tip from a mother of 2 who are now waaaay past the baby stage:

Don't become too exacting. It's early days yet.

And there are times when you'll want someone to take your screaming baby away from you, not give him back to you.

Trust me. wink

hellospoon Sat 09-Jul-11 20:56:54

if i was holding a baby that was getting teary i would try to soothe him/her unless the parent took the baby off me straight away. YABU to expect people to read your mind

bambinoblue3 Sat 09-Jul-11 20:57:02

Yes they were expecting me to just give them his dummy and I had to say twice then in the end I just took him off her.

activate Sat 09-Jul-11 20:58:33

oh bless

remember this feeling of outrage when your child is older and you can't wait for said relative to swoop in and take him/her away so you can neck wine and talk in peace grin

razzlebathbone Sat 09-Jul-11 21:01:33

YABU It sounds like they were just trying to help.

2rebecca Sat 09-Jul-11 21:01:51

When my oldest was 6 weeks old he had "colic" and cried for hours every night regardless of who held him. If a relative was happy to have him yell in their ear for a while and give his dad and I a break we were delighted.
Different if the sprog needs feeding or you know he'll quieten if put to bed but 6-12 weeks were a nightmare for our eldest. Thankfully he's been great since then.

bambinoblue3 Sat 09-Jul-11 21:02:57

I'm not a first time mum. He is my third but my DP family seem to think I'm not able to look after him and constantly roll eyes, give advice that I don't need etc an I usually just smile politely but I think its wrong to refuse to give me my child who is clearly upset and they can't calm him. I'm not a first time mum. He is my third but my DP family seem to think I'm not able to look after him and constantly roll eyes, give advice that I don't need etc an I usually just smile politely but I think its wrong to refuse to give me my child who is clearly upset and they can't calm him.

manicinsomniac Sat 09-Jul-11 21:04:00

Don't think you were being especially unreasonable, especially if you made your expectation clear.

Quite surprised at the relative actually - I can't get rid of other people's screaming babies quickly enough! First whimper and it's straight back to mummy! grin

Wheeelybug Sat 09-Jul-11 21:04:38

Then of course YANBU.

Besom Sat 09-Jul-11 21:04:51

It's so stressful when they're crying at that age - I remeber that primal impulse to want to soothe them. And yes, the outrage when some well meaning soul is musling in and getting in between you and the baby.

bambinoblue3 Sat 09-Jul-11 21:05:00

Yes I understand what everyone is saying but if I was holding a baby and the parent asked for it back I'd give it to them and don't understand why anyone would refuse.

thisisyesterday Sat 09-Jul-11 21:06:20

no yanbu

if you're holding someone's baby, esp a tiny one, and it starts getting upset then you give it back to its mum. end of

mum shouldn't have to go and ask for baby back, or have to take baby away...

squeakytoy Sat 09-Jul-11 21:07:55

Perhaps they thought you were just asking for him back out of politeness because most people dont like holding crying babies.. and they didnt mind the crying (at first).

PetronusOfSteel Sat 09-Jul-11 21:10:59

Sounds like there's a bit of a backstory here with the family, YANBU anyway.

razzlebathbone Sat 09-Jul-11 21:12:36

Ok yes I agree if you asking for the baby back then YANBU. That really annoys me too, even if people are trying to be helpful.

bambinoblue3 Sat 09-Jul-11 21:20:32

Thank you for understanding what I meant in the end smile hard to get it all out at first.

I'm just gettin a bit tired of being the bad guy with the family and just want to scream 'he's our baby we know what's best for him not you' but I will carry on with the sweet smiles grin

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern Sat 09-Jul-11 21:28:07

I was going to say what Squeaky said. I think it was just a misguided way of trying to help. They probably thought you were doing it to be polite as the baby had started crying and they thought you deserved the chance to relax and enjoy the party for a while so thought they would have a go at settling them for you.

MilkMonitor Sat 09-Jul-11 23:20:17

The number of times my firstborn screamed and the person holding him said, "Oh no he's fine," and moved away from me when I tried to take him back.. .. ..I was staggered.

With my other dcs, I've simply said, "No, he's not," and, feeling more assertive by that stage, was able to take them off the person who is trying to stop me from comforting my child.

Kind of primal instinct to want to comfort your own baby and very weird to try and stop the mother from trying to do that imo.

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