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AIBU to be really fed up with DH?

(23 Posts)
Boolaa Sat 09-Jul-11 20:27:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wahwahwah Sat 09-Jul-11 20:29:38

Just hide his bank card and give him an allowance. Then only give him cheap and nasry sausages to eat every dinner time for a month.

cookcleanerchaufferetc Sat 09-Jul-11 20:33:42

£60 in one night! Plus a new shirt! Jeez, who is he trying to impress.....he clearly doesn't care about your feelings.

lenak Sat 09-Jul-11 20:34:56

If things are that tight then YABU to go out and spend that kind of money on yourself in a fit of revenge - you'd be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

However, he is being an idiot.

If you are cutting right down, you do need to budget in something for entertainment - six months is too long to go without treats - even if it is only £10 per month.

Does he have his own bank account? Give yourselves an entertainment / treats budget each month and put his in his account (making him 'pay back' at least some of the money he spends tonight) and yours in yours. If he can't be trusted not to top it up out of joint money, take access to the joint accounts away. His money is then his to do as he wishes with and yours is yours and the bills still get paid.

Tryharder Sat 09-Jul-11 20:36:53

I would be very, very annoyed. £70 is a lot to spend on a night out. I wouldn't object to him having one drink but he is acting very selfishly.

I don't know what to suggest. Sorry sad

BuntyPenfold Sat 09-Jul-11 20:38:14

He needs a new shirt to move furniture in?

nolembit Sat 09-Jul-11 20:38:58

shock That's at least a weeks worth of healthy meals for the DC's. Ask him if he thinks it's more important to go out drinking for a night than feeding your DC's for a week!

ShirleyKnot Sat 09-Jul-11 20:42:55

OooooOooooOoo Bunty, you are clever. grin

lookbutdonttouch Sat 09-Jul-11 20:45:14

So you are doing extra hours, spending nothing on yourself, cutting back on food budget, not going out and he is doing what exactly??

Acting like a teenager. Am guessing you know that though.

Yabu to spend the same amount though, it brings you down to his level and will, in his view, probably justify his spending.

He needs to agree to the budget, no point just one of you doing it.

Have you tried writing down all the money you save as against all that he wastes to prove your point?

diddl Sat 09-Jul-11 20:45:48

70 GBP for a night out!

Bloody hell-we´ve just been out for a family meal & it was €75 & I thought that tha was on the steep side!

His brother should buy him a couple of pints for helping & that should do it imo.

Don't spend another lot of money just to spite him, you'll feel awful about it afterwards and will have lost the moral high ground in addition to wasting your previous attempts to save money. To recover the shirt and drinking money serve your H smart price beans on smart price bread until you've saved enough on his food to make up for the drinking money. When he complains or asks why he's eating differently to you and the kids just explain that his drinking money had to come from somewhere and you're sure he'd rather the kids diets didn't suffer just because he couldn't stick to the budget you'd both agreed.

Boolaa Sat 09-Jul-11 20:50:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boolaa Sat 09-Jul-11 20:56:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuntyPenfold Sat 09-Jul-11 20:56:46

Well, I think you have every right to be thoroughly fed up with him.

breasticles Sat 09-Jul-11 20:58:02

Cut his bollocks off and sell them on Ebay!

breasticles Sat 09-Jul-11 20:58:52

No YANBU!

BuntyPenfold Sat 09-Jul-11 20:59:33

But some people do seem to need to spend on treats as a way to relax, iyswim.
But it is unfair and very hard on you.

Boolaa Sat 09-Jul-11 20:59:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moonferret Sat 09-Jul-11 21:00:52

£60-£70 for a night out? £20 should be the limit..that's enough pints!
And the shirt..hmmm...who's he trying to impress with that?!

ShirleyKnot Sat 09-Jul-11 21:02:08

It's so frustrating not to have enough money to socialise AT ALL, and as much as I completely sympathise with you - he should NOT be out pissing that amount of money up the wall - I can also understand his "rebellion"

breasticles Sat 09-Jul-11 21:02:13

It may be a pride thing for him though too. Does his brother know your situation. It can be difficult to turn down the offer of a 'few pints' if you don't want to be explicit about money.

This is unbelievably childish and selfish of him. Did he actually agree to the household budget? If so, then tell him he is a liar and a cheat to promise things he has no intention of doing.

Orbinator Sat 09-Jul-11 21:09:27

I have a friend and her partner is so bad at saving that she has his account details and on pay day transfers the same amount from both of their accounts into the savings one before he has a chance to touch it. I was quite [shocked] when I first heard about this - thought she was mollycoddling him and he was an adult and had a right to spend his wages his way etc. However, now they are expecting their first kid and he has admitted on so many occasions how proud he is to have a healthy savings account for the child to draw on later. If it was the other way around, what would he do? If the answer is nothing then it is unfortunately up to you to get what you need done to support your family. I'd see about whether he'd let you give him a budget as my friend has done. They soon get used to it, after a few months of it wink

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