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in having a strong desire to throttle my DP?

(8 Posts)
MamaSisterDaughterFriend Sat 09-Jul-11 17:25:26

I need to have a rant. Since Wednesday I've been ill. Yesterday (Fri) I woke up feeling like a sledgehammer had been taken to my head, glands the size of small golf balls, body creaky and achey all over. I asked DP to work from home in the morning so he could help with our 2-year old. Without even blinking, he replies "Oh I wish I could, but I've got meetings all morning." (btw, whenever he's hungover or not quite feeling ticketyboo, he'll work from home).

So I seethed quietly and then struggled through the day and my mum saved me in the afternoon. I found out this morning I have a chest infection so now on antibiotics for the week. I've missed out on a hen weekend which has majorly upset me.

Thing is I just can't stop being angry with DP. I look at him and I just want to throttle him. I feel so let down, not that he could have done much - its more about just being there when I needed him. We've been talking about getting married next year but I keep thinking "in sickness and in health..." what a joke.

I'm normally so self-efficient, I'm not needy & I'm pretty happy-go-lucky. It's unlike me to ask for help, but when I do and its not there, I find it really hard to swallow. I told him how upset I am this morning, I got "sorry" and a hug several times but without much conviction. I keep pushing him away, I have a habit of putting a brick wall up when I'm upset with someone and its really hard to bring down (unless that other person works very hard). I don't want to be angry with him but I'm still seething and I just don't know how to stop!

Am I being unreasonable?

Nanny0gg Sat 09-Jul-11 17:30:53

No. You're poorly.
It's always hard to be ill and cope with children so it's not U to ask for help.
And you can't help but think that your DP wouldn't have to look after anyone if he were ill...

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Jul-11 17:50:45

You just wanted him to show he cared by giving you a bit of sympathy.

It shouldn't be used as an excuse, but I think some people genuinely don't know how to act when someone's ill, some will even see it as a weakness.

If he's said sorry and hugged you that's good, but it's not about this time you've been ill, it's the next time.

Perhaps get it through to him somehow what you want him to do because when you're ill the last thing you want to be doing is chivying someone along to look after you.

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Jul-11 17:51:29

Hope you're feeling better soon smile

<<boxes OPs DHs ears>>

Katisha Sat 09-Jul-11 17:51:33

I do that brick wall thing as well. Can take me ages to snap out of it!

Anyway he is In The Wrong.

oohjarWhatsit Sat 09-Jul-11 18:03:48

if he had meetings, he had meetings

i know how torn i feel when my OH asks me to leave early or whatever and I really really cant

just move on

MamaSisterDaughterFriend Sat 09-Jul-11 18:09:27

You know what, I actually feel better just for having ranted and that some lovely people out there bothered to read and respond - thank you.

skybluepearl Sat 09-Jul-11 19:28:12

hope you are feeling better. i had a chest infection too recently and it was very bad indeed. i was badly ill for a month and bed ridden for two of those weeks. i was really cared for by friends and family - i can't imagine hgow hard it must have been not to have support.

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