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I want to stop taking the pill but he won't approve

(46 Posts)
Anansee Sat 09-Jul-11 08:40:53

I'm so terribly paranoid on the cerazette pill I'm convincing myself I'm pregnant (which is so terrible it would result in a termination) and even if I'm not pregnant it means the pill itself is causing daily headaches, weight gain and a very slowly decreasing mood as well as a libido of absolute zero.
I don't like taking hormone things full stop, I hate pumping chemicals into my body when I don't even want to have sex anyway, I just do it for him. When I tell him I'm coming off the pill and want to go back to condoms he'll go off in a massive mood and make out that I'm selfish and don't love him etc. AIBU to just say tough shit? it's my body and I don't want to take anymore pills. It's getting me down sad

kitbit Sat 09-Jul-11 08:45:14

I hated Cerazette too. Awful stuff. Can you try another method? Coil? Injection? (also chemicals I know) it's not as if you want to come off it to have a baby when he doesn't, it's a health issue for you. Very different, and he needs to grow up and stop being selfish.

If you don't want any more kids could one of you be sterilised? I'd like to see him argue the 'selfish' point if you suggested that.

sunshineandbooks Sat 09-Jul-11 08:49:28

Totally understand why you want to ditch the pills. TBH though I think you'd be better off ditching the boyfriend and the pills. Disgusting attitude on his part. He thinks it's acceptable for you to put up with daily headaches and a whole swathe of other unpleasant symptoms andyou're the selfish one? hmm

Anansee Sat 09-Jul-11 08:49:35

The relationship isn't even that secure sad I can't take the compined pill due to migraines and the injection made me put on almost 2 stone last time. Don't want to use the coil as I'm frightened to death of having something like that inside me.

CurrySpice Sat 09-Jul-11 08:50:19

What a load of emotional blackmail he's giving you! angry

He is proving how little he loves you by putting his own selfish "needs" above your health

Go to the doctors / FP clinic and talk to someone there about this

And if you don't want sex. don't have sex "for him". That way lies resentment, unhappiness and a further spiralling downwards self-esteem sad

saltyseadog Sat 09-Jul-11 08:51:45

I hate hate the pill. YADNBU. I would say no condoms, no sex. A very simple equation.

Anansee Sat 09-Jul-11 08:52:34

If I had my way I'd be 100% celibate. But then that could be the pill talking.

starfishmummy Sat 09-Jul-11 08:53:10

What. You are suffering side effects from the pill ans he says you are selfish wanting to come off it?

I'd be coming off it and telling him that he either uses a condom or he doesn't get any sex. He is very immature.

Jennytailia Sat 09-Jul-11 08:53:28

I have a coil and was also frightened to death of having it fitted. But now I bloody love it.

I know this thread is more about your horrid DP but...

It didn't hurt to have it fitted, it's a copper coil so no hormones, periods back to normal. All round fantastic for me.

ChocolateTeacup Sat 09-Jul-11 08:55:25

, I just do it for him. When I tell him I'm coming off the pill and want to go back to condoms he'll go off in a massive mood and make out that I'm selfish and don't love him etc.

Why the hell are you with him??

lovesicecream Sat 09-Jul-11 08:56:01

I had the coil for 5 years it's great after this baby is born I'll be having it again

altinkum Sat 09-Jul-11 08:56:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaryAnnSingleton Sat 09-Jul-11 08:56:54

he sounds a bit of a git really.

GreenTeapot Sat 09-Jul-11 09:03:45

The pill might be causing reduced libido. But I reckon it's more likely to be down to the fact that being a selfish inconsiderate twat isn't an attractive quality. Who could blame you for not wanting to have sex with him?!

buzzsore Sat 09-Jul-11 09:05:02

He's a selfish git if he knows how badly affected you are by the pill. YANBU.

niceday Sat 09-Jul-11 09:09:18

Agree with sunshine et al.
Ditch the pill and think what are you getting from/ losing in this relationship.

happyhorse Sat 09-Jul-11 09:13:27

What a spoilt little boy he sounds. I suppose he claims he doesn't like the feel of condoms?

Just come off the pill - it isn't his decision to make and you don't need to discuss it with him. If he refuses to wear a condom then he doesn't get any sex. Tbh if this is his attitude towards you then I can quite see why you'd want to remain celibate.

begonyabampot Sat 09-Jul-11 09:15:32

he sounds charming. Why are you with him and how long?

2littlegreenmonkeys Sat 09-Jul-11 09:21:36

YANBU, he is. It is not up to him to dictate what you can and cannot do with your body. It's not like you are coming off the pill to get PG is it. So if he wants sex he will just have to use a condom.

FWIW I came off the pill as I feel terrible (physically and mentally) when taking hormones. I told DH, he didn't bat an eyelid and went and bought some condoms. It has been 4 months now and I feel much better off it than on and my libido has turned up again.

buzzsore Sat 09-Jul-11 09:23:27

Also, you don't owe this man sex. It sounds awful to me that you just have sex for his sake - it should be mutually desired. If he's as selfish & entitled an asshole in the rest of your relationship as he is sexually, then you've really got a poor excuse for a man there.

ShirlOckholmes Sat 09-Jul-11 09:27:22

Why is it always the womens responsibility to either pump herself full of artificial hormones for years or to have a bit if barbed wire stuck up inside her ?<shudders>

He's got three options : Vasectomy, Condoms or no sex!

TimeWasting Sat 09-Jul-11 09:28:23

You poor thing, he sounds fucking awful.

It's not his position to approve or disapprove. You are in no way being selfish to want to stop taking the pill.

purplepidjin Sat 09-Jul-11 09:29:53

I ditched the Pill for similar reasons - i suggested it, dp went and bought condoms even though we both hate them.

Have a serious think about whether this guy is actually worth the effort, if he'd rather make you ill than inconvenience himself

AngryFeet Sat 09-Jul-11 09:41:06

Sorry but he is a selfish shit. I also hated putting all those hormones into my body so stopped taking the pill at 23. DH was supportive of my feelings and wore a condom during sex for the next 8 years until he had a vasectomy.

TinFairy Sat 09-Jul-11 09:54:07

I stopped taking Cerazette last week for similar reasons - I'm fed up of putting synthetic hormones into my body. DP is completely fine with that even though neither of us are big fans of condoms. He respects that it's my body and my choice.

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