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To refuse to replace my parents things?

(120 Posts)
MadStaringEyes Fri 08-Jul-11 20:01:47

My parents are on holiday, my DSis lives with them, and she's 26. DSis has planned a 'small gathering' of people tomorrow night at their house.

She's forever skint, was paid 8 days ago and has £60 to last her the rest of the month, so thought it would be cheaper to have people around. The 'small gathering' includes quite a few of my colleagues, who DSis has recently met and have a reputation for destruction.

Their ex parties have ended with a garden bench being broken, a toilet being cracked, a dog dying, a lawn being replaced, and just general destruction. My parents have spent quite a lot of time and energy doing their house up since DSis and I grew up and it has quite a lot of trinkets from her parents, bespoke glass display cabinets, etc. basically things that cannot be replaced.

I asked her what she planns on doing if/when something gets broken, she said she'll be moving it rooms, which is fine, but everybody is staying the night, so nowwhere is safe. I asked how she would replace things if they were broken, she said I'd lend her the money. I told her I wouldn't and not to have the party, she's doing it anyway. She asked if I would rather see my parents, mum in particular, stressed at having to replace the items.

AIBU to be pissed off at her assumption that I will replace anything her friends break?

TheFeministsWife Fri 08-Jul-11 20:03:38

YANBU. She's bloody IMO! shock

thisisyesterday Fri 08-Jul-11 20:03:49


chicletteeth Fri 08-Jul-11 20:04:06

She's a selfish fucking twat and you need to ring your parents and tell them what she's planning on doing so they can phone her and tell her not to.

Kalinda Fri 08-Jul-11 20:04:21

A dog dying?? WTF?

YANBU, btw. But, wtf?

KaraJS Fri 08-Jul-11 20:04:22

She is being unreasonable, if her friends brake anything refuse to lend her the money

BlueCat2010 Fri 08-Jul-11 20:05:10

She's trying to guilt trip you and needs telling where to go! angry

thisisyesterday Fri 08-Jul-11 20:05:26

yes, i would let your parents know as well.

in fact, i would also go round there tomorrow night and ensure no-one can go in

Grumpla Fri 08-Jul-11 20:06:25

Yup. There's a time for grassing people up and this is it. Warn your parents and on no account attend the party yourself. She will have to deal with the consequences.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Fri 08-Jul-11 20:06:35

Why do these friends like to break things? Why can't they just be civilised? shouldn't THEY pay for any damage they do?

skybluepearl Fri 08-Jul-11 20:07:14

you really mustn't lend her any money. is it worth telling your parents?

zukiecat Fri 08-Jul-11 20:07:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skybluepearl Fri 08-Jul-11 20:07:54

yes agree don't go to party and maybe don't even be contactable till after parents return

DorisIsAPinkDragon Fri 08-Jul-11 20:08:13

don't get involved tell your parents, If they know beforehand and let her go ahead then they accept the risk, if they don't and she does it anyway she needs to face the consquences how old is she??? 26 REALLY????!!!!

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange Fri 08-Jul-11 20:08:51

How old is she? Could you remove some of the things you are most concerned about?

IRCL Fri 08-Jul-11 20:09:15

How old is she?! shock

She sounds like a selfish immature person and YANBU for not replacing the things her "friends" break.

ENormaSnob Fri 08-Jul-11 20:12:37

No way on gods green earth would I lend the silly little cow any money at all.

She sounds dreadful.

ShoutyHamster Fri 08-Jul-11 20:12:40

She's twenty bloody six!!!

Tell her that no, SHE'S the one who will be happy to see her parents stressed and unhappy about their broken things. Because she'll be RESPONSIBLE for it.

You may have to help her to spell that word and explain the meaning of it.

Then tell her that if she doesn't start growing up, she's very likely to spend the rest of her life finding herself inexplicably skint, with £60 to last the month, still living with her parents (or on her own on the breadline at this rate), while all her destructive friends have long since grown up, got solvent and become happier.

She needs a few home truths.

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 08-Jul-11 20:24:21

What everyone else said, particularly ShoutyHamster.

Plus - "The 'small gathering' includes quite a few of my colleagues, who DSis has recently met and have a reputation for destruction." So it's not even old friends of hers, but colleagues (not friends) of yours. Is that how her warped mind sees them as your responsibility? (Not that it is.) Why would she invite fuckwits people she hardly knows?

MadStaringEyes Fri 08-Jul-11 20:33:12

My parents are not contactable, they never are when they're on holiday. She's lost the plot, I hope this is her wake up call.

Friends seem to completely loose the plot when they enter a house drunk, except their own hmm. Most of the damage has been done to one house, and she pretty much couldn't give a crap about her house. They've been to my house once and got kicked out after 40 minutes when things started to go downhill.

I couldn't attend even if I wanted to, I have 2 little people to get to bed.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Fri 08-Jul-11 20:33:55

Forget everything else, WTF happened to the dog ?! shock

ratspeaker Fri 08-Jul-11 20:36:42


Its her choice to have the party
Its her choice not to respect your parents things enough to take care of them
Its her choice to be an emotionally blackmailing twat

so if things get broken its up to her to explain how and why

They more you enable her to behave in an irresponsible manner the more often she will do it

MadStaringEyes Fri 08-Jul-11 20:37:02

Apparantly it had a heart attack. It was only 5, poor thing.

Georgimama Fri 08-Jul-11 20:39:38

I need to know how the dog died. If you can't contact your parents you tell her the shit that hits the fan if/when her friends trash your parents house will be her problem. You can tell your parents when they come back about her indifferent attitude to their possessions too

I feel for you because there are lots of threads like this - one (or more) sensible sibling who takes all the flack and has to do all the shit shovelling, and one selfish fuckwit who seems to be the apple of mummy and daddy's eye.

I would love to be able to say I can't believe you are talking about a 26 year old woman, but I can believe it all too easily.

Georgimama Fri 08-Jul-11 20:40:06

x posted. Poor creature.

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