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to think some parents just love to find fault in schools?

(94 Posts)
CheeryCherry Fri 08-Jul-11 16:43:03

My first AIBU <sit with quaking knees>...but I am just so fed up with parents forever finding fault with the schools/Heads/teachers/lessons. It gets rediculous when a family write to complain to the Head that they take their PFB (year 2) to a local castle so why should their PFB go on a school trip there? They kept him off school! shock What's that all about?!

worraliberty Fri 08-Jul-11 16:46:10

A lot of parents do definitely make the school's job harder.

Bluebell99 Fri 08-Jul-11 16:48:55

I agree with you although sometimes it is nice to have a little moan! Yesterday we had an open evening and chance to meet new yr teachers, and my dd's new yr 5 had spelling mistakes in her powerpoint including misspelling the other new teacher's name!! And she didn't bother to introduce the new to school teacher. Surely it would have been nice to say, and this is Mrs P who is joining us from x school or whatever. Our school does seem to be going downhill atm. No letter home about the open evening, just an email newsletter two weeks ago.

AbigailS Fri 08-Jul-11 16:49:00

That's because teaching is a doddle and anyone can do it, so of course the parents all know better than the teachers. wink

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Jul-11 16:49:30

I always think that teaching would be great if it weren't for the parents wink

CheeryCherry Fri 08-Jul-11 16:51:32

Abigail and Humphrey you are both spot on! grin

ByTheWay Fri 08-Jul-11 16:51:56

mmmm ...... lot of teachers seem to think that way hmm lol

janey68 Fri 08-Jul-11 16:54:24

My SIL is a teacher and she calls it the 'bored housewife syndrome' - apparently the worst offenders are women who pre- children held down good jobs and seem to think they know more than the head teacher.

(don't flame me- I'm only quoting her)

AnnoyingOrange Fri 08-Jul-11 16:56:17

ha ha janey certainly true in my ds's school

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 08-Jul-11 16:56:45

In the old days, teacher and doctors and others in positions of authority could not be challenged... or at least people felt they couldn't be challenged. And we ended up with some truly rubbish schools and Harold Shipman smile YANBU that some people take the idea that 'I pay the teachers' wages' a little too far but, on balance, I think it's better for parents to be involved and engaged than excluded.

CheeryCherry Fri 08-Jul-11 17:01:55

Cognito - I have no issue with parental involvement - it makes a school a much better place - but it's the consistant moaning I can't cope with anymore, the scathing comments. Letters of complaint should be saved for more important issues if/when they crop up. Maybe I'm hormonal and less tolerant than normal!

TheFlyingOnion Fri 08-Jul-11 17:12:48

true here as well janey...

my most difficult parents are the ex-high fliers who see the child (rarely more than one) as their new "project", at which they must succeed.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Jul-11 17:16:03

Oh I totally agree that parental involvement is vital.

It is the way a few people speak to me as if I have got up that morning with the express purpose of ruining their child's education. They never seem to give me any credit for having thought through my decisions in a professional capacity.

The case the OP mentions about the castle is a classic. The children will have been taken to the castle, they will have read about it beforehand, they will look at it together and discuss it, they will research some aspect of castle life/history/whatever and they will do follow up activities in the classroom. But one parent thinks that their child has already visited the castle so there can be no value in going there with the teacher and complains about it.

AbigailS Fri 08-Jul-11 17:18:26

Yes I'm all for parental involvement too. But it seems there is a small minority of parents who see "involvement" and "parent power" = challenge everything because the school must be wrong. Many are trying to show that they are caring parents, but it means we end up spending time and energy addressing their complaints instead of on things that actually impact the children.
Sorry - it's been a week of complaints, so I'm in vent mode.

magicmummy1 Fri 08-Jul-11 17:23:22

I am not a teacher but I totally agree. My dd goes to a fabulous school and has been blessed with two amazing, dedicated and talented teachers. I think she is getting a fantastic education AND it's free! But I find that some of the other parents like to moan, and if they are that way inclined, they will find something to moan about. hmm

YANBU

mrsbiscuits Fri 08-Jul-11 19:29:21

I am not a teacher but a School Governor and I do get bogged down with the negativity of the school gate mafia some times. It's almost like they expect the school to cater for their child's individual needs with out considering the impact on everyone else! There seem to be a couple of ring leaders in every year group that speak loudly with an anti everything voice, when the latest newsletter comes out. I do have to say that schools often don't help themselves in the way the communicate with parents and I have raised this issue at meetings. To be honest I think that some people just like to moan and never happier than when they are having a good whinge.

marriedinwhite Fri 08-Jul-11 20:12:46

So all of the following are right then and no parent should complain:

Children given incorrect spellings (throughout)
The x and y axes being mixed up (y4)
The head sending out newsletters containing dreadful grammar and syntax
A teacher publicly calling a child fat
A teacher asking a child with aspergers if he is stupid
A teacher shouting at a parent
Teachers failing to change reading books regularly
A teacher asking my DS if he was stupid and generally bullying so badly
that the boy cried himself to sleep for a term and started to refuse school
Teachers reporting for work looking as thought they should be at the beach

And let's not forget the one in five children who leave school without having mastered: reading, writing and numeracy.

Yes I agree that parents should not be petty; we do, however, have a right to ensure that our children are educated to acceptable standards and within an environment that pays more than lip service to equalities and diversity.

CheeryCherry Fri 08-Jul-11 20:26:41

marriedinwhite - shock No of course if there are justified reasons for major complaints, then fair enough. I am talking about the petty issues that parents witter about, 'little PFB has not been picked for the football team, how dare you not choose him, he's such a talented player' etc
Can you not change schools? Are you taking it further?
mrsbiscuits To be honest I think that some people just like to moan and never happier than when they are having a good whinge. You are
so right.

MadYoungCatLady Fri 08-Jul-11 20:28:20

As much as some parents look for faults with schools, some schools give parents reason to look for faults. Its not easy giving up your children to a school, and ultimately to the teachers, who spend however many hours a day doing what the childs parents had been doing previous to school starting.
There are an awful amount of teachers who seem to think they know better than everyone else - yes, you went to university, it does not mean you know any of the children in front of you better than its parents. A child walks into a classroom and automatically has to respect the teacher to the point of referring to them as Miss/Mrs/Mr/Sir. Its outrageous - why on earth should the child respect the teacher? And even more so, why on earth should the parents?
I've known brilliant teachers (the ones who treated children with respect, and showed kindness, and did not act like they knew everything), and downright terrible teachers (the ones who think its ok to insult children, do not try to understand each individual and think they can talk down to people).
At the end of the day, its a job that comes with complaints. As most jobs do. Suck it up!

MadYoungCatLady Fri 08-Jul-11 20:30:47

That sounds like I'm aiming it at you OP, I'm not, I'm ranting about the teachers I'm thinking about! Sorry smile

NobbedaBuilder Fri 08-Jul-11 20:39:12

marriedinwhite - it depends on what you mean by 'looking like they're going to the beach'. Are they in a bikini or just cool clothes?
It sounds like you'e got some real issues with the school so I'd probably let that one lie or you will just be labelled as a complainer and not taken seriously.

flumposie Fri 08-Jul-11 20:41:22

So what would you like children to refer to the
teachers as if not Miss/Sir etc?

youarekidding Fri 08-Jul-11 20:42:31

I've complained in writing to DS' Infant school on one occassion. I nearly did it again a few months back. Both times when theoretically a child's life (my DS') could have been at risk.

Until the secretary remembers she doesn't have a degree in medicine, and a parent who's child has just been given epi-pens may wish to discuss procedure with the school, I doubt it will ever change

tralalala Fri 08-Jul-11 20:48:20

Imarriedinwhite - those are valid reasons to moan...but everyday i hear moans about how it all is shit and yet none of the parents will do anything to help the school in apositive way.

MadYoungCatLady Fri 08-Jul-11 20:50:46

Their first name. Unless they intend to call each child Miss/Master whatever. Equality never seemed to get as far as teachers.

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