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AIBU?

to want to bring DD (3) to a proffessional talk?

145 replies

MilaV · 07/07/2011 20:02

Reason in simple: both XP and my regular bsbysitting will be working at that time. The talk will be about my field, design, with a few prominent people giving their views. I really don't want to miss it, and then I remembered a friend who used to take his child to all places with her. I plan to go with DD and some colouring books and pencils. Of course if she makes noise we'll go out, but I'm quite nervous and at the same time excited about the idea of sharing this part of my life with her. Do you think AIBU? Think they won't let me in?

OP posts:

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MilaV · 07/07/2011 20:03

sorry about the misspelling in the title, English is obv not my first language

OP posts:

MorticiaAddams · 07/07/2011 20:05

YABU, it doesn't sound like a good place for a child and is unfair on the other participants and the speakers.

pjmama · 07/07/2011 20:06

No idea whether they'll let you in until you try! Providing the content of the talk isn't inappropriate for her to hear and you're willing to leave if she isn't able to be quiet, then I don't see a problem. Question is whether you think it's realistic for a 3yo to spend that amount of time in silence colouring or not? And are you going to be able to concentrate on the talk if you have her with you? If the answers are both yes, then give it a go - just be sensitive to others and take her out you need to.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/07/2011 20:06

I think 3 is too young. You'll be on pins that she'll make a racket; will you really be able to concentrate? If she does make a noise you'll miss the talk anyway. How much do you think she'll actually understand of 'this part of your life'?

I think you'll find that many will disapprove. What if everybody took their small children to these places? The clue is in the name - professional event. I wouldn't, OP, it's really not the done thing, however appealing a child is, they aren't when you're trying to listen to a presentation and they're regaling you with 'incy wincey spider' or similar.

pjmama · 07/07/2011 20:06

if you need to.

EdnaKrabappel · 07/07/2011 20:09

I think this is not a good idea sadly. What if you want to chat to the prominent people in your field or just network with other attendees after? You won't be able to do that with a tired or bored 3yo pulling on your arm saying "Mummeee" insistently. Which even the quietest and most well behaved child is wont to do!

No one else you could ask? Nursery worker, neighbour, another mum from playgroup?

GypsyMoth · 07/07/2011 20:11

Not a place for a child.

Sirzy · 07/07/2011 20:12

not fair on the child or the others at the presentation IMO

cat64 · 07/07/2011 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LucyGoose · 07/07/2011 20:16

Sorry, do you think your 3 yr old is going to care or understand what is happening?

And prominent people in your field are going to take YOU seriously when you have brought your toddler in as if its a low-key coffee with friends? Not professional....

You should try and find a babysitter.

Littlefish · 07/07/2011 20:17

Unreasonable, and unfair on the other people at the talk.

DeWe · 07/07/2011 20:22

Depends on the child. I could have done it with dd1 at that age and known she'd have not said a word. Dd2 and ds I wouldn't have tried as I probably wouldn't have made it through the introduction.

Just bear in mind though that you could get embarrassed as one of our teachers did who ended up having to bring her 3yo to speech day at school. About half way through the address by the VIP guest this little voice was raised. "Mummy this is boring and I want to go home." I think she got a bigger cheer than all the prizewinners put together.

Gooseberrybushes · 07/07/2011 20:25

Get a babysitter.

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 07/07/2011 20:32

It would be VERY inconsiderate of you.

It is not appropriate to bring a toddler to a professional event. Frankly, you shouldn't need to be told that.

LineRunner · 07/07/2011 20:33

Agree DeWe it depends on the child.

I did this with my daughter, no problem.

Wouldn't even have atempted it with my son.

LineRunner · 07/07/2011 20:34

Attempted not atempted.

Sorry. Son still distracting me after all these years!

Goblinchild · 07/07/2011 20:36

'sharing this part of my life with her'

She's three, it's not appropriate and she won't thank you. I agree that it doesn't make you appear very professional, or considerate to anyone involved in your plan. If she was older, then I might see your point.

MilaV · 07/07/2011 21:53

I'm going to go for it. It'll only last one hour. It is professional, but also laid back, and we won't bother the rest because if we do, then we'll leave (so no, I don't think I'm being selfish). Also, my daughter is very well behaved and I am confident in my ability to keep her entertained for 1 hr. She'll have a great time with crayons and stickers. Even if my brain is not 100% there, I don't want miss it, I don't think I should renounce, and I am definitely not going to get a new babysitter in the last minute and leave my daughter with a stranger.

I firmly believe that children are a part of our lives, a part of our society, and I think it would be a good idea.

OP posts:

Gooseberrybushes · 07/07/2011 21:54

squeakytoy · 07/07/2011 21:58

You are behaving like a selfish arse, and giving working mothers a bad name...

Why did you even bother to ask for an opinion.

Parietal · 07/07/2011 21:58

Just today I chaired a symposium with a 3 month old baby in my arms. It was fine. I left my 3 yr old at nursery though. But if your DD is well behaved and will be quiet, then go for it!

worraliberty · 07/07/2011 22:00

YANBU if you really really have to.

But YAB bloody U to be 'excited about sharing that part of your life' with a bored 3yr old who quite frankly wont have a clue what's going on.

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LRDTheFeministNutcase · 07/07/2011 22:01

It's very rude not to ask first. If you really are sure you want to do it, email the organizer and ask if this would be possible. I think you should also offer to sit at the back and go out if need be - if she is talking or moving in her seat (and, surely, at 3 she will be?!) it'll distract others.

I agree it'd be nice to see children more accepted in some areas of life but I don't think rocking up to a professional event with a toddler is the way to go, sorry! A newborn baby is one thing, imo - toddler is different.

SmartyHan · 07/07/2011 22:02

So, you have arn't going to do anything the other MNettershave suggested? Riiiiiiiiiiiight....

Should MNHQ delete this then? This is obviously a pointless thread.

skybluepearl · 07/07/2011 22:03

i think it depends on what kind of three year old you have. if you have lots of little surprise toys that you can whip out of your bag every half hour than go for it.

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