to be upset at this children's party?

[sadaboutthismum]

I'm not sure if I am or not .
DD came home tonight and told me, very matter of factly, that a child in her class is having a year 6 leavers party and disco at his house. He was giving out invitations this week in front of the children who have not been invited. Two teachers are going aswell..

There are 37 children in the year group. 32 have been invited. My DD is one of the children that hasn't.

Obviously I won't do anything but I feel sad that an adult has organised a big, special party and excluded 5 children from it.

DD has never fallen out with this child, BTW. I don't know, I have quite a good sense of fair play and to me that means all children in a big party situation are invited. Obviously very different for a small party .

[ragged]

yanbu. Organise a counter party for those not invited, make it bigger & better?!

[applechutney]

YANBU to be upset - I would be too.

Nothing you can do about it unfortunately. How is DD taking it?

[Hullygully]

Arse. Him and parents.

[jeee]

If teachers have been invited, and are going, I think that this is a school matter that you can legitimately raise with the head teacher.

[sancerrre]

That's bizarre. Are you sure it's not a mistake? Can you check with the parent organising it? I can't imagine any adult deliberately doing that, especially when its being labelled as a year 6 leaving party, implying its for all of year 6.

[sadaboutthismum]

She's very sadly matter of fact applechutney. All her friends are going .

I don't know the mother really at all but I'm quite shocked that a grown adult thinks this is acceptable.
I would get a class list and invite every child, goes without saying to me. And if my kid didn't like it, there'd be no party. Everyone or no one.

Thanks, BTW, everyone.

[MerylStrop]

his parents are meanies, or obtuse in the extreme
i'd invite all those not invited to go out for pizza and a movie.
and yes if the teachers are going, its fair enough to raise it at school

[sadaboutthismum]

Those were my initial thoughts ancerre. But the mother is a super organised person and I cannot think it would be an oversight.
I did think about speaking quietly to the teacher, not in a what are you going to do about it way, but just to let them know.

[MadEyeMoodyBra]

Yanbu. If over 75% are invited to a party, all of them should be.

Also by Year 6, they'll all be talking about it and getting excited. It's not like an infant school thing either where you can sort of hide it from them.

Could you try approaching the parent and saying "I don't know if (DD's name) has lost her invitation, because all of the rest of the year seem to be invited. Has there been a mistake?" Or even get one of your friends to do that.

[Zipitydoda]

I'd raise it as an issue at the school because the teachers are going. They should be made aware that some children have been excluded. As a teacher I would want to know and I'd then verify that with the parent organising and not go.

[SoupDragon]

The mother may be organised. The child may have left out some invites himself.

[sadaboutthismum]

I do think the child has been relied on to do the invite list which doesn't afford me any consolation TBH because I would be asking at school for the definitive list if it were me to be 100% sure no child had been excluded.


I am a really unpushy laid back mum too but this has got to me, daft I know but there you go.

[sadaboutthismum]

Soupdragon - that thought did indeed cross my mind.

[hocuspontas]

How do you know 32 have been invited? That's very specific. Maybe the mum thought there were 30 in the class plus 2 teachers. I'mnot sure if I would have the nerve to say anything myself!

[sadaboutthismum]

DD listed the five non invitees, hocuspontas. I did grill ask her to be sure and she was quite specific. It's a small year group and she's quite sharp and it's been the talk of they playground for a couple of weeks, apparently.

[sadaboutthismum]

That's a very good policy flick. Might be worth raising that if I speak to the teacher.

[Sam100]

You could be really brazen and just turn up anyway with dd and the other 5 all dressed up and ready to party! Take a bottle of pop and a big bag of sweets and I am sure no-one will turn them away!

[LineRunner]

Talk to the class teacher.

There is either a mistake or something not nice is happening.

People can be such twats but they also make mistakes.

[DoNotTakeMeSiriusly]

Call me suspicious but it reminds me of that fecking awful show on MTV "My Super Sweet Sixteen" alot of the invites to parties on there are done publicly with much humiliation to the ones not invited, it makes a big show of it. Horrible IMO.

Fingers crossed it's just an oversight. I'd mention something to one of the teachers that is attending.

[Callisto]

I wouldn't be happy about this either. What a horrible thing to happen to your DD, not what she needs just before moving into secondary school.

I would certainly have a word with someone - probably the mother in the way that MadEyeMoodyBra suggested, and if not, definitely the teachers concerned. (Though I also think it is a bit odd to invite teachers to a school leaving do).

[sadaboutthismum]

I think I will talk to the teacher, thanks. Even if just to feel better myself , IYSWIM.

[SoupDragon]

Phone the mother and ask whether it is true 5 children in the year have been left out.