My ds said to me this morning that a boy in his class calls me fat. The boy in question is only 5 and has Asbergers - but to be frank, he is right, I am fat.
My other ds told me a few months ago that a boy in his class called me fat.
I really struggle with my weight and am on a diet and have lost over a stone already. However, I doubt I will ever be skinny.
I'm not angry at the boys, they only stated the obvious. I just feel sad for my boys as I don't want other children to use my weight as a means of being nasty to them.
As I am going to take a long time to lose my weight and experience tells me that I tend to put it back on again. I decided to sit my boys down this morning and explain to them that yes I was overweight but I have a lot of nice things about me too.
I told my boys to say, "Yes she is, she is a good cook and likes to eat. She is always nice to you and lets you come and play in our pool and in our play area. I love my mummy and you are being rude about someone who is nice to you."
Am I being reasonable about a) coaching them what to say b) possibly opening them up to a longer conversation about their mum's weight
I hope this doesn't come across as patronising but I think it's brilliant how honest and matter of fact you are about this. As you say, the lad has aspergers and is just saying what he thinks I assume not realising that it's hurtful or rude. In this case I think the response you want your son to fire back is brilliant at highlighting your positive traits and helping the lad understand how his comment hurts. However I don't think you should necessarily tell your son to agree that you're fat. Maybe just leave that bit out
i think YAB a bit U to get them to sing your praises like that. something like 'people come in all shapes and sizes' is better than putting words in their mouths.
i assume your DSs are quite little if one of them is 5. perhaps explaining that you are trying to lose weight and the best way to do that is through healthy eating and exercise. but that it doesn't stop you being a happy mummy and loving your children. and then asking them how they feel about it...
The preferred option for me would be to smack the kids round the head (hypothetically) but your suggestion is much better! Kids should not be so nasty and it appalls me, from experience, that kids can be so mean at such a young age. I know of someone who was getting bullied for being fat - the person in question was 6 years old and not fat at all. YANBU to prepare a script for them as it helps them deal with the situation also. Kids should be more inclusive and accepting and you are doing the right thing.
I agree with lauriefairycake, because what you have told him probably won't get remembered by a 5 year old and will end up being summarised as 'yes- she likes food' anyway . I do think you are being very open and honest and setting a fabulous example.
If he has Aspergers, he is not likely to be saying it as an insult, rather a statement of fact (speaking as someone who is fat AND has Aspergers). I like Laurie's suggestion of saying "yes, she likes food".
my son is autistic and im fat maybe you could get your dcs to say to this lad, and being inapropriates one of the traits btw so im sure he doesnt understand its hurtful because being tactless is a trait too and saying what pops into his head, what my ds says to others is yes my mums fat and very cudly too like a teddy bear. actually he tells me probably daily im fat and chubby and have big boobies i try and tell him you shouldnt say that and why but the info just doesnt make it in, he tells me blah blah blah big fat mummy and adds i mean that in a nice way though and says i love you at the same time .