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to wonder how much weight you have to lose before people mention it?!

(30 Posts)
Hatesponge Wed 06-Jul-11 21:37:40

I have since January lost 3.5 stone. I was VERY overweight, so am far from thin now, but I have gone from a good size 22 to a size 16 (ish). So still a way to go, but I do think it's a noticeable change.

I have had lots of compliments and encouragement from friends every time I see them and I am honestly very grateful and blush about that. So it's not like no-one has noticed. But I work in an office of 50-odd people and barring one (who is a close friend as well as a colleague) not one bugger has said anything at all! Likewise my oldest group of friends (in terms of how long I've known them - we all went to school together - not their age!) haven't mentioned it.

I am a bit of a princess (pampered only child blush) and am probably being a bit egotistical about it. Am therefore quite happy to be told IABU and should just get over myself grin

Just think it would be nice if the people I spend upwards of 40 hours a week with, and the others who I've known for most of my life, seemed to have noticed! I'm always complimenting them on new hairstyles, colour, outfits, etc.

squeakytoy Wed 06-Jul-11 21:39:22

We live in an age where personal comments can be seen as causing offence, so most people these days are careful to be neutral and by doing so, say nothing.

Well done by the way, fantastic loss! smile

squareegg Wed 06-Jul-11 21:39:33

Congrats! I suppose them seeing you every day might mean they don't notice slow changes? And also there's the worry of asking someone if they've lost weight and they take it to mean that they looked awful before - that kind of thing.

thirstforknowledge Wed 06-Jul-11 21:39:50

Maybe they have noticed and are admiring you without saying it to your face.

Well done btw. grin

PaintedToenails Wed 06-Jul-11 21:40:53

To be honest, I am one of those people who simply do not notice if someone has lost weight. Especially if I spend most days with them. Perhaps everyone else in your office is exactly like me (horror....). So YABabitU......

Well done on losing the weight though

theinet Wed 06-Jul-11 21:41:21

i guess many of them didn't comment when you were getting fat, so they don't want to say "wow you lost weight" as they may feel you might wonder why they didn't say anything before. some people can be very sensitive about this sort of thing.

worraliberty Wed 06-Jul-11 21:41:34

I never mention anyone's weight, it seems to be such a touchy subject.

I suppose if I knew someone was trying hard to lose and they did (noticably) then I might say something like "Wow, you're looking trim"

But it would depend on how well I knew them.

TapselteerieO Wed 06-Jul-11 21:43:15

I find anything weight loss related very boring, would much rather comment on someone looking good, I would never talk to someone about losing weight through choice and would not do so just to make conversation, in case they thought I was interested and started talking about every pound they had lost. (Just my perspective.)

Well done and all that, but maybe that is it, people just are not interested.

Hatesponge Wed 06-Jul-11 21:44:25

our office is quite PC in many ways so yes it's quite possible they feel a bit nervous about commenting grin

ScaredyDog Wed 06-Jul-11 21:45:06

One of the senior bosses at work noticed when I lost weight - and came out with "Wow, you look cracking, you've lost some weight, you look wonderful" then went pink and then stammered that he hoped he hadn't offended me! I said of course not, it was a lovely compliment. But some people might not like to say anything for fear of causing offence (silly, I know).

Are you wearing different clothes, have you changed your style? Changed your hairstyle? Those things might set off your weightloss more and be more obvious. Well done you btw!

Hatesponge Wed 06-Jul-11 21:47:12

grin at not interested. I'm sure that certainly applies to all the men in the office, and quite possibly to some of the women as well!

I should say I haven't made a big song and dance about 'oh I'm on a diet' etc, mainly because at the start I wasn't sure if I would stick to it/lose much if anything and I didn't want to look stupid if I gave up after a week grin

kakapo Wed 06-Jul-11 21:47:13

i wouldn't make a weight comment ever. it's a touchy subject for many people.

LargeGlassofRed Wed 06-Jul-11 21:48:46

Lol I feel your pain, I went from a size 20 to a size 12 and shaved my waist length hair and alot of people didn't seam to realise at all smile quite funny when eventually they did though!

mummyosaurus Wed 06-Jul-11 21:51:01

The thing is people look at you, they don't look at a dress size.

Personally I find people notice most when I have new clothes, so you need a new wardrobe wink

bruxeur Wed 06-Jul-11 21:54:59

That's tiger country right there. Never never never make a weight comment unless part of conversation other person has initiated, and even then tend to stick with aren't you doing WELL!

belledechocchipcookie Wed 06-Jul-11 21:55:11

You shouldn't be doing this for anyone else, you should be doing it for you. It's irrelevant whether they say anything.

HappyAsIAm Wed 06-Jul-11 21:55:43

I never notice when anyone has lost weight, especially if I see them on a daily basis, as the people in your office would see you.

By the same token, I never seem to notice when anyone puts on weight either. I just don't see it.

I notice sudden changes in someone's appearance though, like if someone has their hair cut.

Hatesponge Wed 06-Jul-11 21:56:18

bloody hell largeglass can't believe they didn't notice that immediately!

and please no-one tempt me to buy more clothes grin I need to get ebaying some of my old stuff first!...

emsyj Wed 06-Jul-11 21:56:36

Just because people don't say anything to you, doesn't mean they're not thinking it and/or saying it to others!!!

I lost 2.5 stone a few years ago and a senior guy in another team commented to a friend of mine in his team, 'that emsyj has lost a truckload of weight' shock but never said anything to me at all - and my friend's dad said to my friend (but not to me) 'emsyj has lost a lot of weight, I didn't recognise her at first'.

So people may well have noticed but be talking behind your back! grin

AgonyBeetle Wed 06-Jul-11 21:58:06

I worked up to until 39 weeks pg with dd1. During pg I went from normal size 10 to being the size of a small detached house. My bump required its own postcode. A few weeks after giving birth I went into work to tie up a couple of things, taking the baby with me.

"Oh, you've had a baby?" said two blokes that I'd shared an office with for the previous 9 months. "I hadn't noticed you were pregnant". [durrrrr] Some people are just oblivious and/or v. slow on the uptake.

smartyparts Wed 06-Jul-11 21:59:19

A friend of mine lost 4.5 stone before I noticed! blush

But, like the OP, she had lots to lose and it just didn't really show before then, plus it was winter for much of the time!

DamsonJam Wed 06-Jul-11 22:01:01

I think others are right about people being careful not to comment in case they cause offence.

I understand it can be a bit demoralising though - I'm in the same boat - I've lost 2 stone since January (from size 20 to 16) and NO-ONE bar my husband has even noticed! :-(not that that that's why I'm doing it - it's for health reasons really but still its always nice to get compliments)

I reckon it's a bit like toilet roll (bear with me here) - if you take 20 sheets from a full roll of toilet roll you'd never noticed the difference, but if you take it when you're near the end it makes a massive difference. So here's hoping the next 2 stone will be noticed! :-)

ChunkyMonkeyMother Wed 06-Jul-11 22:04:37

Well done on your weight loss, I bet you feel much better already!
I understand your woes as well! My Mum has lost nearly 4 stone since November and looks incredible, everyone comments; all say to me "Isn't she doing well, don't you fancy doing it?" Well thanksafuckinglot I've lost nearly 2 stone but have only been on it since March!

My DH has now lost less weight than me and is constantly telling me about the comments he recieves too

I admit I have more to lose than either of them but I am trying my hardest and like you would just love a pat on the back every once in a while!

I'm going to start pumping lard into their veg! Bastards

chicletteeth Wed 06-Jul-11 22:09:36

Some people just don't like to comment on other people's appearance changes, even if they improve. It's kind of the same of saying, you looked a bit shit before.

My SIL has terrible, terrible teeth. Not here fault, she has a genetic problem with them which can't be cured only cosmetically improved. She had veneers put on and they looked great and I noticed straight away.

I asked my brother if it was ok to comment on her teeth (i.e. pay her a compliment) because i was wary of her thinking I though they didn't look great before (which I did).

I don't know, maybe I'm weird!

chicletteeth Wed 06-Jul-11 22:13:17

Sorry for my appalling typos blush

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