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To not spend any more time with in laws

(9 Posts)
maypole1 Wed 06-Jul-11 15:52:25

I have come the conclusion I will not be spending any more time with my mil

Fil is fab but sadly they are a pair

She refuses to come and visit us at our house because were council tenants

She has asked my oh to leave me Her exact words " when are you going to stop messing about with those ethnics and get yourself nice girl

Left early from our wedding - and didn't speak to me the whole day

Told my daughter not to call her nanny as their not related

Overridden me when telling my son off in front of every one and called me cruel

Wouldn't let me help with dinner then told every one later on how i done nothing

And constantly talks about her 3 grand children we have 2 his sister has 2 and his brother has 1

So I can guess whose kids she is referring to.

Also offered us a deposit on a mortgage as they have done with the oldest two after they got married so we sorted everything out and they called us over on the day to say they didn't think we would last so went ale to offer the deposit any more

Those are only some of the things
She has done and I am sick of her I don't want to spend any more time even breathing the same air so o told oh any family functions he can go on his own am I being out of order to be fair he finds her hard work and because of how she treats me dose not really see
her much but his sibling have gatherings were she get invited I wont be going back for christmas last year we ended up leaving early I was in tears the whole way home

StayingDavidTennantsGirl Wed 06-Jul-11 15:54:30

You would be being bloody unreasonable to want to spend another second with this lovely(??) woman, maypole!!

LITTLEGEEK Wed 06-Jul-11 15:58:22

Agree with SDTGirl. Sounds like it doesn't matter what you do or how nice you are or how well you raise your children, it will never be good enough. Fortunately it sounds like your husband knows how wonderful you are. I'd be telling the mil to stick it.

ihatecbeebies Wed 06-Jul-11 16:00:08

You are being completely reasonable! What a horrid woman, that is awful that she has treated you like this! What does DH say about it all, does he stick up for you?

Playdohinthewashingmachine Wed 06-Jul-11 16:05:50

It's probably a good thing they didn't give you the money, they'd be asking for it back or expecting to treat your house like their own.

Why do you spend time with them? It sounds as though they aren't fussed about seeing your children (and as though it might be a good idea not to let your children see too much of them, too). So if your dh wants to see them, he could go on his own. Better for him not to go either though - why would he want to be with people who treat his beloved wife in that way?

craftynclothy Wed 06-Jul-11 16:06:30


Did she go to the same charm school as my MIL? hmm

maypole1 Wed 06-Jul-11 16:10:57

I think until last christmas he was trying to walk the middle ground but when he told our child not to call her nanny he lost it and told her we were leaving.

And the whole mortgage thing was only 2 days after we got married and the first time I had ever seen him cry

I feel bad because even though she hates me I feel he is loosing out on spending time with his dad who is really very nice although a little hen pecked.

We have a family wedding on the 5th I will not be going I feel this is casting a shadow over my marriage

I don't want him to have to choose has any one else had mil issues

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 06-Jul-11 16:15:38

Ignore the woman. You don't have to visit her of course but, if avoiding her is going to make wider aspects of family life difficult, don't do it. Go to the family wedding. Be the bigger person. Others will then twig that she is the unreasonable one whereas if you don't show up, you might face accusations of being aloof.

It's unfortunate about FIL but maybe if you decide not to visit, he'll turn up the pressure?

GoEasyPudding Wed 06-Jul-11 17:29:59

This is really really bad. How terrible for you. I say you can go to this wedding with your head held high.

I think that this woman will probably be well known to those around her as being shockingly rude and everyone will be on your side. Even if they dont say so.

As for your FIL, your DH can ask him out to sporting events (even the local cricket ground) and to the Pub. Both no go areas for your MIL hopefully? Maybe a trip to the DIY store just really man type activities and then - whoops --- he is taken home for tea with his grandchildren. Get this sorted but yes, cut this woman out as much as you can. But never never never let her stop you from going to family functions.

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