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Party invite clash WWYD

(16 Posts)
pinkthechaffinch Wed 06-Jul-11 15:52:03

OK here's the situation.

Married to DH, one ds of mine (9) from previous relationship and one toddler dd together.

We have all been invited to a large golden wedding anniversary party of some of DH's relations that I have only ever met once. Party is 150 miles away. DS ok about going but not ecstatic.

On the same day, ds has been invited to his best friends birthday celebrations, which he would rather go to. I feel bad, because I OK'd the invite ages ago not realising it was the same date.

I think that DH and DD should go the the golden wedding party leaving my to run ds around to his friends.

DH (understandably) not really happy about this. I don't want to let ds' friend down.

So wwyd?

moomaa Wed 06-Jul-11 15:53:58

I would do as you have suggested

Hullygully Wed 06-Jul-11 15:54:54

Could ds go to the party and stay the night with the friend?

MsTeak Wed 06-Jul-11 15:55:19

why (understandably)? Why can't he go to his own family celebrations without you? I don't see the problem here.

bubblesincoffee Wed 06-Jul-11 15:56:22

I'd see if I could find someone else to have ds for the day so that he can go to his friends party.

Lollyheart Wed 06-Jul-11 15:56:31

It's a tricky one, I would all go to the family party, but arrange a date for your ds and his friend to have a day out or something.

pinkthechaffinch Wed 06-Jul-11 15:56:42

I strongly feel that DH should be with me on my family occasions so it's vice versa I suppose.

Friend's mum doesn't do sleepovers sadly.

MogandMe Wed 06-Jul-11 15:57:48

Agree could DS stay with a friend/his father and you all go.

Shinyshoes1 Wed 06-Jul-11 15:58:08

you take ds to his best friends party.

dh to go by himself to the other party

That's what i'd do

MorticiaAddams Wed 06-Jul-11 15:58:25

I would try and arrange for ds to go to his friend's party and stay over with him or another friend.

It's a big celebration for your dp's family and I would think it important for you to be there with him especially if you haven't had many opportunities to meet them.

MadYoungCatLady Wed 06-Jul-11 16:03:01

How oftern are the couple in question going to celebrate a golden anniversary? It is a big one.
I'm sorry but I think I would go to that. If no-one can look after DS then I'd arrange something for him and his friend on my return.

bubblesincoffee Wed 06-Jul-11 16:06:59

Has your ds met these relations? Do they do the usual kind relative things like send him birthday and Christmas things?

If not, I think it would be very unfair to make him miss his best friends birthday for them. He coud be friends with this lad for years and years to come, and might only get spoken to by this couple for a minute at the party and then never see them again.

Could his own Dad take him to the party? Why does dh not want to go without you?

pinkthechaffinch Wed 06-Jul-11 16:14:14

DH wants me to go as his wife and to help with 2 year old dd

no, they don't remember ds' birthday.

no contact with ds' dad and all other relatives are busy on that day.

I think we will go with original plan, and will say ds has tummy upset nearer the time, I think.

Thanks for all replies.

pookamoo Wed 06-Jul-11 16:17:24

I don't think you need to say he has a tummy upset, they will surely understand?

Could you DS not stay with another friend going to the party and have a sleepover with them instead? You will have to repay the favour of course and have that friend to yours at another time, but if you are friends with any of the mums, it could work out?

elphabadefiesgravity Wed 06-Jul-11 16:24:48

If the relations at the family part are not that close then I would let ds go to his friend's party.

Whose invite did you receive/reply to first?

Ds had a friend's party to go to at the weekend. her accepted then afterwards we got an invite to my nephews 4th party.

We ended up going to both as there was an overlap but would have gone to the one we replied to first (friend's) if not as they had to pay per head.

pinkthechaffinch Wed 06-Jul-11 16:42:07

Well I've just spoken to friend's mum and explained situation to her. She sounded a bit pissed off with me tbh ( and I don't blame her) sad

but we are having her ds round to tea next week instead.

She invited ds informally a couple of weeks ago, and we replied formally months ago to dh's family do.

I do give DH a very hard time for not attending my family dos so I feel we have to go to his now .

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