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to ask that grandparents don't give ds things I don't want him to have.

(7 Posts)
Erienne Tue 05-Jul-11 20:27:51

Ok so hi Im new and I need to get this lot off my chest. I have depression and have had since well before ds was born. (he is 11 months. 1 in august!) Now Im struggling a bit at the mo due to lack of support from the mental health team. Youre probably wondering what this has to do with the subject well I have never been much of a baby person and have not been around babys in my life until very shortly before I became pregnant. So my DH's family pretty much assumed that if I had any problems I would automatically go to them for advice and all of the things I said I was going to I wouldnt. Well the medaling began pretty much as soon as he was born. I said I would like to breast feed and even tho I had problems I did (and still do! Go me!) Well my mil kept saying but you dont know how much hes getting etc and my sil decided that he was getting withdrawl symptoms from my antidepressants and convinced me in my baby blues state to stop bfing and go onto bottle. I did for 2 days before I worked up the courage, with my dh on side, to say no I dont want to bottle feed I want to bf. So that was one battle fought and eventually won. Now it has been like this the whole time. First it was bottle verses breast then it was give him a bottle at night and he will sleep thru (he didnt) then it was I dont think he should be in his hammock anymore.... The list goes on. Now the problem Im having at the moment is that he wont drink. He isnt dehydrated but is getting very consitpated and has started stopping him self from pooing because it has been hurting him. Well I have been giving him lactulose once a day to help and giving him little sips of water rather than trying to get him to drink the whole cup. This seems to be working. Well my mil found that he would quite happily drink a cup of tea silently fumes so I have given in this fight because I was in a bad place and at least it was fluid. Mostly milk I have to say. Well today I think I managed to offend my dh's gran. She has, overall, been the most helpful and today when I was there with ds she came in with a little carton thing of "juice" I use the term very loosely as it is that pink stuff that is all additives and sweetners probably glows in the dark. Well I put my foot down and said he wasnt having it and put it back in the shed. My gil then had a look on her face that pretty much said I was being ridiculas. Now Im really cross because everyone says to me to do what I think is best but what they mean is to do what they tell me is best. Now if anyone wants to give their kids that "juice" then thats upto them and I say each to their own but I say my ds wont have it. Now what I want to know is am I being unreasonable and if not how can I polietly ask my in laws to only give ds things that I want him to have?

Sorry for the ramble and moan I just dont have anyone to talk to about it. :S


hugeleyoutnumbered Tue 05-Jul-11 20:32:29

YANBU THEY ARE, its yoiur dc so stick to your guns, good luck, when you have done it once it gets easier,

girliefriend Tue 05-Jul-11 20:35:33

no yanbu, they sound like they need to back off, I would say firmly that he is a baby and all he should be having at this age is milk or water!! Can your husband not have a word with them and tell them to back off?

and fwiw I would have gone ballistic if anyone had given my dd tea at that age (or even now and she is 5yo!!!)

plupervert Tue 05-Jul-11 20:41:47

Where is your family in all this? Surely your DH's family has had more than its fair "go at you" and it is your family's turn? If your family is far away, or gone, perhaps you have some friends who could run interference for you?

When does all this interference occur, at the weekend, during the week, in holidays? If during the week , you can just get out and be busier with your son. It's summertime, after all, and it's a shame to be sitting in someone's house (being nagged). Stress that your son is old enough to socialise, and that you are taking him out to the park to meet some people his own age. It does sound as though he is being smothered with adult care. Aren't there any other children in the family, to take the pressure off you?

chandellina Tue 05-Jul-11 21:24:57

YANBU. blame it on someone else if you want - say there was a dental hygenist at baby group who said juice and sugary drinks should be avoided completely (they do say just this). My son is 3 and I still get annoyed when he's offered juice or similar. In our house, it's a special treat not an everyday drink.

stand your ground and don't give in to any bullying - you do know best.

UKSky Tue 05-Jul-11 21:25:22

No YANBU. Get your DH to stand up for you.

Sorry to hear about your DS problem. Have you tried giving him slices of orange to suck, or prunes to chew on (or chop up into his breakfast). Both of these will help.

Ismeyes Tue 05-Jul-11 21:28:02

If you are struggling at the moment, that is probably going to make you find it hard to make decisions or be assertive towards others. Why are the mental health team not supporting you? Have you asked for more support?

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