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to get slightly upset when partner introduces me as Amanda4.... as there have been 3 before me?

(55 Posts)
notacloudinthesky Tue 05-Jul-11 14:41:14

Having put up with it and on his phone as A4 for 2 years..... the joke is suddenly not funny anymore.

Should I see the funny side? Or indeed, is there one? Or.... ?

BelleEnd Tue 05-Jul-11 14:43:00

Slightly upset?!

notacloudinthesky Tue 05-Jul-11 14:43:43


Hullygully Tue 05-Jul-11 14:44:29

Call him Dickface1

MadameOvary Tue 05-Jul-11 14:45:03

How may partners have you had that behave like this? (Not many I hope) Just call him "Dickhead2" on your phone and see how he likes it.

HellAtWork Tue 05-Jul-11 14:45:36

Have you told him he needs to get a new joke?

AmazingBouncingFerret Tue 05-Jul-11 14:45:43

Hully beat me to it, was going to say introduce him as Dickhead1! grin

tigana Tue 05-Jul-11 14:46:16

is he still in contact with 1 2 and 3? because if not, you are the only one, so no need for numerical crap on phone etc.

To introduce you to friends etc as amanda 4 is pretty rude...although perhaps he is a bit embarrassed at his apparent amanda-fetish and is acknowledging it to prevent his friends taking the piss? (sort of self-attack as form of defence?)

Either way... if he is a decent bloke, just tell him it bothers you. If he is not a decent bloke... there is a bigger question.

CeliaFate Tue 05-Jul-11 14:47:47

That is exceptionally rude and disrespectful.

branstonsandcheese Tue 05-Jul-11 14:48:38

It was never funny. Maybe when he first met you and put you in his phone - "weird, another Amanda", I can see that's worth commenting/joking to friends about ahead of a first date or whatever.

There isn't a funny side. It's incredibly disrespectful. None of the Amandas can help their name - were 2 and 3 given those designations?

I don't want to jump to conclusions but after two years he sounds a twonk at best and like he doesn't see you as an individual at, well, not worst but further along the line there. Two years is a long time, it's serious, you should be his best-beloved P not one in a line of Amandas.

notacloudinthesky Tue 05-Jul-11 14:49:15

In contact with 1 and 2........ he knows it bothers me... a lot. And his friends all think its funny..... even asked last night by someone i had never met what number i was..... v v unfunny..

Nixea Tue 05-Jul-11 14:51:15

Can I ask a personal question - feel free to pm me if you'd rather not say but does his name begin with an A by any chance?

branstonsandcheese Tue 05-Jul-11 14:51:22

He knows it upsets you and it's still a standing joke to his friends?

He sounds like a immature wanker who hangs out with wankers. Forget what I said about jumping to conclusions wink

What are the good bits of your relationship? Are there any? Worth this?

Renaissance227 Tue 05-Jul-11 14:52:55

My DP knows better than to ever do anything like that, BUT if he ever did then I would be seriously pissed off!
You need to sit him down and explain exactly how crap and unspecial this makes you feel.

anewyear Tue 05-Jul-11 14:54:19

Have I got this right, He's been out with 4 Amanda's??
Whats wrong with mandy?
If so, He's weird!!!!

notacloudinthesky Tue 05-Jul-11 14:54:31

Not A..

We have a wonderful baby....

But yes... it's a bigger picture.... and I suppose i just wanted to vent for a moment.... Immature is right... spot on. sad

ShoutyHamster Tue 05-Jul-11 14:55:58

Delete your number from his phone.

When he notices, tell him that unless it's stored as just plain ole' Amanda (no numbers), he won't be needing it at all anymore. So either way, the entry 'Amanda4' is defunct.

Up to him if he chooses to put it back in, and as what...

branstonsandcheese Tue 05-Jul-11 14:57:13

'Amanda 4' is not a title a partner of two years and mother of his child deserves. It's sniggery and childish and devalues you and your relationship. If you put your foot down, said no more and that his friends were not to refer to you in that manner, do you think he'd take it on board?

Nixea Tue 05-Jul-11 14:57:20

Sorry, I didn't mean to pry but you could have actually been talking about my cousin. He (for reasons unknow to us) will only date women with one name and also makes a joke out of it, to everyone's despair.

I have no advice though I'm afraid but I wish you luck and hope you get it resolved.

notacloudinthesky Tue 05-Jul-11 15:00:08

Branstonandcheese.... he told me earlier on that he wants a partner who can laugh at it and find it funny - repeatedly..... "that's the woman that I'll marry"!

So no.... he won't take it on board....

Adagoo Tue 05-Jul-11 15:00:58

Have you ever told him?

DH takes the piss out of my married name. He is the only one that has ever done it. I went fucking ballistic and offered to divorce him and then he stopped.

You tell him that you feel it's disrespectful as you are the mother of his child you are AMANDA. that is it. Tell him you will call him dickhead 1 in public, if he refers to you in this way again.

Also you might have to kick off about it in front of his friends. But do it once, and you won't have to do it again.

Asking you what number you were is fucking incredibly rude. You must call them on it if anyone does that, or they will not know it upsets you.

Insensitive pricks. Men like this do not respond to polite requests. But they will respond to being humiliated in front of their friends. Fair game IMO.

Adagoo Tue 05-Jul-11 15:02:28

Ask him if he thinks you will want to marry a man that calls you number 4? angry

notacloudinthesky Tue 05-Jul-11 15:05:01

I did lose it last night... in front of his friends.... he said I humiliated HIM!!!

We are not kids..... His friend apologised but I really was very hurt... I had dressed up to go out somewhere smart... and the evening was ruined... I'm embarrassed but v upset sad

branstonsandcheese Tue 05-Jul-11 15:05:11

"that's the woman that I'll marry"!!! WTF? Oh my god that's just... crass in its obviousness. And such a slap in the face for the mother of his child! He's saying he won't marry you unless you pretend you think this is funny! And you've given him a child! He's saying a 'sense of humour' about being depersonalised is more important than that?

I guess he'll be looking for an Amanda5 who's happy to be referred to as such for the rest of her life to marry - good luck with that, weirdo Amanda-fetishist.

Agree that you are WELL within your rights to kick off at any of his disrespectful sniggery friends but if that's his attitude too I've seen 'men' like that turn on their DPs for 'embarrasing them in front of their friends'. I guess that'll make its own point.

You poor thing and your poor baby, whose mother isn't even given his own designation!

pingu2209 Tue 05-Jul-11 15:05:40

Personal opinion really. Terry Wogan calls his wife his 1st wife (or current wife) as though there may be a time he will get rid and have a 2nd. They have been married for decades.

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