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AIBU or is the teacher being a cow to my child

(53 Posts)
Chundle Tue 05-Jul-11 13:49:02

To cut long story short dd in year 2 has always loved school until this school year. Started saying her teacher hates her an didn't wan to go to school and crying etc. Anyway several times I have now witnessed dd trying to talk/tell the teacher something when she opens door in morning and teacher tuts, rolls her eyes or blatantly turns her back on my dd.
Had an incident before where she confiscated my dds shoes as she was swinging her legs under the table and last week dd was left out of an activity she had given her teacher 20p to participate in! I actually saw dd give etcher money at the door, teacher snatched it from pocketed it and looked the other way.
Other parents have commented that this teacher is rude to parents never mind the kids. Luckily we have got dd into better school for next term but AIBU to want to formally complain about her stinking attitude

YANBU - she sounds horrid - def put in a complaint!

belledechocchipcookie Tue 05-Jul-11 13:50:53

I'd make a complaint. This is an appauling way to treat a child. sad

cuteboots Tue 05-Jul-11 13:51:06

I would have to complain I think as she she sounds awful....

kreecherlivesupstairs Tue 05-Jul-11 13:51:21

She sounds a charmer. I generally defend teachers (DH is one), yours sound indefensible.
Why would confiscating somebody's shoes make them stop swinging their legs. With regard to teh 20p, was your DD the only one not to do the activity? Not that that makes much difference, it is theft.
I would have been to see someone long before now TBH.
Look forward to teh new school year.

donnie Tue 05-Jul-11 13:52:14

she stole your daughter's money?

she confiscated her shoes?

really?

hmmm.

Whorulestheroost Tue 05-Jul-11 13:53:05

Why don't you make an appointment to speak with the head teacher and explain how unhappy your dd has been at school this year. Any decent head would listen to your concerns. She sounds awful sad

Chundle Tue 05-Jul-11 13:53:42

Thanks guys yes dd was only one who paid who was conveniently left out! I've complained before about her as I feel she picks on dd a bit and as a result dd has rock bottom self esteem now. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't BU before I go in at 3pm

Callisto Tue 05-Jul-11 13:55:00

Have you not asked this teacher why she is such a bitch to your DD?

Chundle Tue 05-Jul-11 13:55:35

I spoke to another teacher yesterday who promised money would be returned - it hasn't. I complained to deputy head about shoes and she agreed it was out of order and wouldn't happen again. The school is in special measures and it's no bloody wonder

Callisto Tue 05-Jul-11 13:57:42

I think if your DD is suffering this much and she is in a new school in the autumn I would just pull her out now and write to the head and explain why. I'd copy in all of the governors and the teacher in question too. Your poor DD.

Chundle Tue 05-Jul-11 14:01:11

That's what I was thinking Callisto I may ask in the office today how to de-register her and say I will homeschool for the last few weeks. Thanks for advice

TandB Tue 05-Jul-11 14:01:20

While I am all for giving a teacher the benefit of the doubt if the information is coming purely from the child, it sounds like you have reason to have doubts based on what you have seen yourself.

Some people are always sceptical about any allegations of this sort levelled at teachers, but from personal experience I can certainly confirm that it does sometimes happen.

My 2nd year junior (so age 7 I think?) teacher loathed and detested me. I told my mum about the things she said and did and my mum was dubious. Then my friends started telling their mums about it and my mum gave it a bit more credence, but didn't really accept how bad it was until another teacher from the school, who happened to be the leader of my girl guide unit and who left to go to another school, confirmed to my mum that the teacher in question had a reputation for choosing one child in every year to pick on, particularly the siblings of a previously "chosen" child.

She used to leave me out of things, tell me off for things I hadn't done. I was fairly advanced academically at that age so I often got given extension work - she would give me work to do and when I finished it she would tell me it wasn't what she had told me to do and send me out of the room if I objected. I brought things in for a display table once and they went missing and turned up later and she denied they were mine. I was never allowed to have a part in any class play or activity. The list goes on.

So it does happen.

Goblinchild Tue 05-Jul-11 14:08:32

' Anyway several times I have now witnessed dd trying to talk/tell the teacher something when she opens door in morning and teacher tuts, rolls her eyes or blatantly turns her back on my dd.'

I make children wait to tell me whatever it is until we are sitting on the carpet for register. Otherwise you get 20 children all talking at you at the same time, thrusting bits of paper or interesting objects at you and all wanting attention at the same time.
perhaps the teacher has tried getting your DD to wait her turn and has now given up and is relying on the fact that in 13 days, she will be KS2 and someone else's problem.
The 20p should have been returned, was she the only child left out of the activity? What did she do instead?
Some children get tired of being kicked under the table by other children, and shoes hurt.

Callisto Tue 05-Jul-11 14:11:57

Chundle - don't bother asking the school. They will give you bad advice/no advice. It is not in their interests for you to deregister. I would get on to the Home Ed board here on MN and ask there. Schools and LEA's seem to feel very threatened by home schoolers and always seem to go on the defensive. Your best bet is probably to sort it all out and present the head with a fait accompli.

Good luck and don't forget - you have every right to give your child the education that you feel is right for her.

childfreeatm Tue 05-Jul-11 14:16:37

I was bullied by a teacher at school, it was awful. I would investigate the matter further to discover exactly what's going on.

When I look at my report from her for the year she taught me it stands out that she didn't like me, as every other report throughout my school life was excellent and commented on how hard I tried and how well I worked with other kids (she was PE). She declared that I didn't try, was disruptive and not a team player. Hell, she once sent me out for trying to help my friend use the balance beam (she was terrified and I was just encouraging her along "you can do it" etc, quietly, not shouting) declaring that I was disrupting class and preventing my friend from working.

She picked on me every chance she got, whenever she saw me and made my life hell for a year. I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire now and I'm 27.

Chundle Tue 05-Jul-11 14:19:49

Thanks kungfu and Callisto.

Goblin it would be polite of the teacher to ask my dd to wait and speak to her later is it really setting a good example to turn your back on someone?
Also I did question whether dd had actually kicked anyone as I thought this was logical conclusion and it was confirmed that she had not! She simply annoyed the teacher by swinging her legs.

Goblinchild Tue 05-Jul-11 14:21:02

What about the activity?

oohjarWhatsit Tue 05-Jul-11 14:22:19

blimey times must be hard if teachers are nicking 20p now

Chundle Tue 05-Jul-11 14:25:09

Sorry the activity was optional you paid 20p if you wanted to do it she was only one who paid that was left out. She got to paint instead.

Goblinchild Tue 05-Jul-11 14:28:23

Was she left out intentionally, or accidently because the teacher had been given a random 20p in her hand at a very busy time of the day?
That's why I like carpet time, and a list and a pot to put money in.

CrapolaDeVille Tue 05-Jul-11 14:34:04

Complain in writing to the Head, the governors and LEA. I am currently complaing about a teacher with MH issues who bullies my son.

MummyTigger Tue 05-Jul-11 15:21:08

My college teacher bullied me to an absolute extreme, to the point where I refused to go in any more. My mother thought I was just being a drama queen until she went in to have a words about an unrelated matter, and the teacher immediately launched into this insane rant about how I'm disruptive, offensive, insulting, I have substandard intelligence and that I might be suited to extra help because of my obvious "mental difficulty"... and she said all of this in a very public setting and despite the fact that up until she entered the picture I was very highly praised academically, with outstanding SAT and GCSE results to prove it!

My mum went off on one massively and registered a complaint, but apparantly "that's just her way", so it never got anywhere. I had to put up with another year of that godawful woman, and it still makes my back tense up every time I think about her.

Complain bitterly, and don't stop complaining until something gets done.

sue52 Tue 05-Jul-11 16:55:44

She sounds unsuited to teaching. Could you pull your child out of school now to prevent this teacher hurting her self esteem even more? Complain to the head to stop this happening to other children.

hugeleyoutnumbered Tue 05-Jul-11 17:08:26

OP she sounds terrible complain i would take her out of school until september, what a bitch

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