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to think that this was the right thing to do?

(24 Posts)
rebecca71 Tue 05-Jul-11 10:29:18

On the way home from the gym last night, I found an old lady (maybe 80yrs old) lying in the street with blood all over the place. Her dog had chased a fox and had pulled her over, cutting her hand quite badly. She was basically ok, but seemed very grateful at my offer to walk her home. So, I took her back home, helped her try to stem the bleeding, got her sat down with a cup of tea, then said I would drive her to A&E as it really was a nasty cut and it wouldn't stop bleeding. She was clearly pleased to have someone with her (lives alone) and was really appreciative of my help.

I called DH to let him know that I'd be late home (last week he got worried because he'd got the finish time of my class wrong and had expected me earlier). He was really curt with me, told me I should have rung for an ambulance if it was bad enough for A&E and instructed me not to wake him up when I got in. As it was, I was only home an hour later than planned, and earlier than we normally go to bed, but he was furious because DS(1) had woken and he'd been trying to soothe him without success.

The argument we then had about me bf'ing DS at night still and my ways of looking after DS is a whole other story... but AIBU to think that a bit of inconvenience for DH is a small price to pay for ensuring that an elderly lady has a bit of comfort and support when hurt quite badly? And that his attitude stinks?

peeriebear Tue 05-Jul-11 10:32:20

YANBU. How would he feel if it had been his nan? Well done for taking care of the lady. Calling an ambulance when you were happy to take her to A&E would have potentially taken it away from a life-or-death emergency. Your H is being an arse.

SwearyMary Tue 05-Jul-11 10:32:43

YANBU. I would have helped the lady too, no doubt about it.

(I'm not going down the line of leave the bastard DH)

Beamur Tue 05-Jul-11 10:33:47

Ditto peeriebear

Fifis25StottieCakes Tue 05-Jul-11 10:37:54

YANBU - does he think you should have left her? what were you supposed to do.

Nefret Tue 05-Jul-11 10:43:46

YANBU - he is. Good for you for looking after her, I'm sure she was very grateful, if you had just sent her off in an ambulance she would probably have been upset and frightened.

You are right - he attitude does stink!

DogsBestFriend Tue 05-Jul-11 10:47:06

YANBU. His attitude towards the elderly lady is disgusting.

Well done you on for helping her.

rebecca71 Tue 05-Jul-11 10:55:50

He tends to be somewhat light on his replies to "what should I have done?". Pretty much anything would have been wrong last night I think.

purplepidjin Tue 05-Jul-11 10:58:02

I'd have done the same thing. She had no one, your DS had his Dad. You didn't put yourself or anyone else in any danger that i can see.

Your DH should learn to settle his own son, though!

buzzsore Tue 05-Jul-11 10:59:30

Oh dear, you being kind and caring inconvenieced him mildly. You should be shot. hmm

rebecca71 Tue 05-Jul-11 11:00:09

On the plus side, the lady seemed really lovely. She said I must pop round for a cup of tea sometime, despite me warning her that I've generally got two rowdy kids in tow!

While obviously not done for this reason, it does give you a good feeling to know you've helped someone so I'm just going to feel pleased that I've actually made a difference to someone for once, and ignore DH.

diddl Tue 05-Jul-11 11:01:12

Of course you did the right thing!

And if you´d called an ambulance & gone with her, you would then have been stuck at the hospital together!

That´s aside from the fact that it sounds as if an ambulance wasn´t needed.

And being bad enough for A&E doesn´t equal needing an ambulance!

The clue is in the title-it´s for accidents & emergencies!

Tchootnika Tue 05-Jul-11 11:01:26

YADNBU, you did exactly the right thing.
It's sad that your DH's attitude isn't much, much more unusual.

wicketkeeper Tue 05-Jul-11 11:02:35

He's acting a bit as if you need his permission to do anything other than stick to the plan. You do what you gotta do girl - how he reacts is his problem, not yours. He can be miffed if he wants to be - that's his choice. And how you react to his miffedness is your choice - you don't have to join in the argument.

rebecca71 Tue 05-Jul-11 11:06:47

DH does generally settle DS if he is around and it's not the middle of the night (which isn't that often in practice, but DH is generally quite hands on). DS is just a bit clingy with me at the moment after starting nursery recently.

I still think injured old lady trumps currently-clingy DS though!

rebecca71 Tue 05-Jul-11 11:07:43

sorry - am v slow at posting - the last message was in response to purplepidgin about DH learning to settle his own son!

eurochick Tue 05-Jul-11 11:15:10

YANBU. You did the right thing.

purplepidjin Tue 05-Jul-11 11:15:33

Ah, ok. I interpreted it as he got frustrated that he couldn't settle DS and that led to him taking the frustration out when you got home wink sorry

TheOriginalFAB Tue 05-Jul-11 11:17:51

You did a lovely thing and your husband is an arse.

Insomnia11 Tue 05-Jul-11 11:25:45

You did the right thing, he was being totally unreasonable.

TrillianAstra Tue 05-Jul-11 11:27:56

You did the right thing, and he should be supportive of that not whingy.

TottWriter Tue 05-Jul-11 11:30:47

YANBU. I suspect that your DH got a bit stressed out by you being unexpectedly delayed and snapped at you crossly, but realises you did the right thing and is now being too stubborn to back down and apologise. I know my DP would be the same. Some people just can't admit they were wrong wink

But honestly, of course you had to help her! You didn't know it was A&E worthy until you got her home and could see it properly, could you?

Sarahplane Tue 05-Jul-11 11:39:44

You showed some kindness to an elderly lady who needed help. So what if it inconvenienced your husband slightly. Your husband should not think it's such a big deal to be looking after his own child.

ShoutyHamster Tue 05-Jul-11 12:47:18

Sounds like he's really miffed about being inconvenienced by the needs of his own small son

I would be getting my crusader cape on and looking for a few more old ladies to whizz to the aid of...

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