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to think I am not sound heartless, just honest instead.

(11 Posts)
altinkum Mon 04-Jul-11 15:25:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrillianAstra Mon 04-Jul-11 15:29:13

It's not your job to look after her full time, and it sounds like she is beginning to rely on you too much.

If the other friend thinks that the bereaved friend is not gtting enough company/sympathy then she should go round.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 04-Jul-11 15:30:10

Not heartless at all; it was a good suggestion for your friend to come to you and I think you're right, she needs the company.

You have your own things to do as well as support your friend and sunstroke isn't much fun on top of that.

redonblond Mon 04-Jul-11 15:32:16

Hi, for what it,s worth, I dont think you sound heartless at all. You have been there for your friend when it mattered up until now, but you do have your own life to lead as well. Perhaps just explaining that in a gentle way to your bereaved friend may just do the trick. She is maybe too consumed in grief at the moment to notice that you are busy yourself. Just be honest with her, im sure when you explain she will understand.

altinkum Mon 04-Jul-11 15:35:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

altinkum Mon 04-Jul-11 15:38:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrillianAstra Mon 04-Jul-11 15:39:05

You don't need to prove or excuse the fact that you have other things in your life.

oohjarWhatsit Mon 04-Jul-11 15:40:59

can friend 1 help with the business to give her something to do

aliceliddell Mon 04-Jul-11 15:43:30

what oohjar said

altinkum Mon 04-Jul-11 15:45:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

girlscout Mon 04-Jul-11 15:47:19

yanbu, in fact you have been alovely friend, above and beyond and all that.
5 weeks in nothing in the greiving stakes and she will feel the pain for a long while yet, however, she dosent have any rights to you or you time ,and she hasgot torealise this.
She may want to be carried,mothered, but she cant really insist on this, and you have laid down a framework, where you can live your own lifeand not feel used by her.If you roll over, andprioritise her above your other needs, then you will resent her. I lost my father last winter, I have no emotional support, I understand that support is important in this, but only if it is freely given, but the world carries on and be bereived have to find their way again.

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