To put on here what I meant to say when I called The Wright Stuff

[Ems101]

So I rang up The Wright Stuff this morning to comment on their discussion topic ': Let Abortion Clinics Advertise On Telly'.

However, just as I started talking to the panel, my little boy started whinging so I then had to bounce him on my knee so couldn't give my full attention to the call. I just feel I'd like to say what I meant to say rather what I babbled out this morning.

I don't believe abortion clinics should be allowed to advertise on TV. This view is not based on the idea that I don't agree with abortion, but because I believe it would add pressure to those facing an unplanned pregnancy that they should consider an abortion. I found myself facing an unplanned pregnancy last summer, and I was shocked at how much information was suddenly shoved my way by doctors about abortion, but not about either adoption or keeping the baby. I would certainly have not needed the additional pressure of seeing a TV advert that suggested what I should do. Luckily my family were very supportive and as some of you may know I now have a lovely baby boy. I fear for those who may not be quite so lucky, if they were given the same information as me and then saw the advert on TV, would they feel like they were only faced with one choice?

I also feel it would be wrong as although many women have abortions and are quite at peace with their decision, many go on to regret it and so seeing these adverts may bring back painful memories and cause great upset to them and their families.

I think if we are going to bring abortion into the media this way, it should be in a way that also brings adoption and single parenting (which I consider to be the 'other options' unless of course your partner sticks by you, which thankfully many seem to) into the media. I feel (and I emphasize that this is 'my' opinion, I appreciate others will feel differently) that these need to be talked about just as much as abortion. I considered adoption, but it was only through the research and calls I made myself that I found about the process and what happens. The same applied when I looked at how I would cope as a single parent (my boys father didn't want to be involved) in terms of money, support, etc.

This is purely my view, I understand others will feel very differently and will have different opinions and experiences. I just felt I wanted to say my piece. Thanks for reading.

[itisnearlysummer]

Thank you for that. I have read your post and it reads as 'fair enough' to me. I am glad you are happy with the choice you made and congratulations on your little boy. I think it might concern me that women might feel they were being 'advised' to follow a route they saw advertised. After all, adverts are designed to draw you in and purchase whatever service is being promoted. It's the point of adverts. But I haven't given it a great deal of thought.

When I opened the thread I thought it might be from the lady who made her 16 year old gay son pretend he'd got a girlfriend so it didn't upset/confuse her younger DCs!

[SmartyHan]

But, what about all of the baby advertisements on TV? Formula, next stage milk (or what ever it is called). Toy adverts. Happy families. Disney adverts. Women are shown the image of a happy family all the time on TV (although soaps + Films 'touch' on abortion they usually follow through with "it's ok, we will cope" and everything is lovely again). Abortion is the last "fontier". TV programmes show sex, periods, interracial marriges, homosexal trysts, murder, drug taking, abuse but abortion is not allowed!

[NormanTebbit]

I think it absolutely should be allowed.

[cheesesarnie]

you can just feel the wright stuff team rubbing theyre hands in glee waiting to see how this goes.
'as we discussed on yesterdays show....now those tiresome mumsnetters have kicked off....'

[itisnearlysummer]

But SmartyHan I think it would be fair to say that many women who 'find themselves' pregnant and feel that abortion is one of their choices are not in one of these happy families and perhaps feeling so distant and far removed from the images they see, some would be more convinced that abortion is their only option.

[GeekCool]

I'm not sure how an advert puts pressure on a woman to abort?

[Ems101]

Smarty, I'm not saying abortion shouldn't be allowed to be advertised at all, I just feel it should in a capacity that shows and advises on other choices as well.

[itisnearlysummer]

I don't think it puts pressure on women to abort (and I haven't seen the advert in question so can't comment on that directly) but advertising is intended to persuade people to use services/buy products.

Is it just one facet of Mary Stopes (I think it was) that is being advertised? Is their counselling and family planning (prevention side) also being advertised?

[SmartyHan]

But these adverts of happy families can persuade people that there is a happy ending. Life isn't happy, people don't rush into each others arms and sob with happiness. People should be showed both sides of life, the fluffy side and the 'what happens if everything does not go according to plan' side, then be able to make a reasonable decision.

All the time I see women on here talking about an unwanted pregnancy and people always reply with 'congratalations, it will be FINE, my friends had _ and it worked out fine'. People never talk about the flipside of thing, they just like to talk about how wonderful everything is.

[HengshanRoad]

Why should adoption be promoted as an alternative? A woman doesn't automatically become an incubator as soon as she gets pregnant.

[itisnearlysummer]

Smarty Are you saying it should be advertised as it is currently a taboo and might make women feel less ostracised for making the decision, rather than encouraging them to do so? Or just that there would be balance in advertising if they were shown?

I think anything that makes women feel less wretched than they already do in that situation is a good thing, but I'd also be a bit concerned if it became so normalised that it was easier to have an abortion than face the embarrassment of buying condoms. Which is what prevents many teenagers from using protection!

[MarioandLuigi]

No-one is going to feel pressure from an advert to have an abortion. A pregnant woman trying to decide what to do with her future isnt a 3 year old wanting everything she sees on TV for Christmas.

The fact that it isnt allowed to be advertised still gives it an air of something grubby and taboo, which it shouldnt be at all.

As long as its after the watershed then I dont see what the problem is.

[Ems101]

It has already been advertised, only once as far as I know, but still been done.

[FreudianSlipper]

i see no problem, terminations are a part of life, they should just be accepted that this is the choice for some women and once her mind is made up she should be able to get a termination as soon as possible

the adverts are not promoting abortion as a past time, something to be experienced they are advertising a service that is needed

[SmartyHan]

itisnearlysummer

I think it should be advertised to remove the taboo, and say that you CAN have an abortion if you need it. Perhaps adverts should normalised alternative forms of contraception? Perhaps it should be normalised for contraception to be used by both people? Condoms for the man and pill/injections/coil etc for the females?

[itisnearlysummer]

The thing is, I'm very much pro-choice. But advertising it still doesn't sit comfortably with me. It might do with others, but it doesn't with me. And that's fine. We're all different. I wouldn't complain about it. But I wouldn't like it.

[itisnearlysummer]

SmartyHan

Thanks for clarifying - I'm being a bit thick today maybe! I can see the point in what you're saying. But I don't really like seeing adverts for condoms either. Oh God my mum's right, I'm an old prude!

But I think unwanted pregnancies shouldn't be seen as a women only issue. My mum still refers to "women who get themselves pregnant!" So maybe you're right after all. I still wouldn't want to see them though! Argh!

[donnie]

then the anti abortion clinics should be allowed to advertise as well.

[TrillianAstra]

Smarty is right.

People often say "I had an unexpected pregnancy and everything turned out fine"

People rarely say "I had an abortion and everything turned out fine"

[garlicnutter]

I think abortion clinics should be allowed to advertise - via infomercials that must be obliged to also put the case for adoption and single parenting. They could try for co-funding from an adoption agency and the COI.

The individual clinic would still benefit, as it would own the case for abortion.

Simples Can I have my old advertising job back now, please?

[SchrodingersMew]

So it's illegal to advertise cigarettes on tv and people enjoying drinking but not abortion!?

That seems a bit off. I believe there is a place for abortion when absaloutly needed but advertising it on TV makes it far too normal.

[FreudianSlipper]

i totally agree smarty

there are many women who have terminations and have no long lasting feelings of guilt or any at all but some members of our society want women to feel guilt for doing such a terrible thing, this myth that all women live guilt ridden for the rest of their life needs to be dismissed because its just not true

[garlicnutter]

People rarely say "I had an abortion and everything turned out fine"

That's not true, Trillian. It may well be here, being as it's a parenting site and all, but the overwhelming majority of abortions are trouble-free and, while recalled with sadness, were the right decision and are not regretted.

[TrillianAstra]

You misunderstood me garlic - I don't mean that abortions rarely turn out well, I mean that people rarely say it. I think it should be said more.

[garlicnutter]

Oh, sorry, trillian, I completely misunderstood! I agree, yes. I hardly know any women who haven't had an abortion - but it takes a long time to get around to the topic; advertising could help to de-stigmatise it.