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to be impressed that I am able to both neglect and spoil my children at the same time.

(22 Posts)
ditavonteesed Sun 03-Jul-11 17:16:14

according to my mum that is.

ChaosTrulyReigns Sun 03-Jul-11 17:19:36

<<polite applause>>

I think.

MummyTigger Sun 03-Jul-11 17:19:36

...How does that one work?!

Maryz Sun 03-Jul-11 17:23:14

Congratulations, you are giving them the best of both words. "Benign neglect" is what I think it is called - give them all they need (and more) of things like food/love, but leave them to their own devices when mumsnetting as much as possible grin.

AgentZigzag Sun 03-Jul-11 17:25:28

Keep 'em on their toes - I like it grin

Was she not meaning it as a compliment then?

ditavonteesed Sun 03-Jul-11 17:34:57

definatley not a complliment. made me giggle though.

OddBoots Sun 03-Jul-11 17:42:21

I guess it is possible to do that by (for example) giving them sweets or new toys all the time to shut them up or letting them play out as late as they want to keep them out of your hair but I don't imagine that's what you've been doing, she probably just wanted a dig.

Tee2072 Sun 03-Jul-11 17:47:15

So you shower them with toys that will hurt them??

Vroomfondel Sun 03-Jul-11 17:51:59

well done. a miserable failure in all directions then.

youarekidding Sun 03-Jul-11 17:56:58

What do you do? Give them £100 quid and send them off for the day saying don't come back before bedtime. grin

My DS is spoilt in many ways. Only child, LP family so gets lots of attention and gets to play what he wants, watch what he wants etc. But then again I can neglect him when he's playing - like now - but surely its good for him?

Sounds like a pretty cheap dig from your mum I'm afraid though. sad

ditavonteesed Sun 03-Jul-11 18:13:17

well the neglect side refers to their lack of a vest one day when they went round in winter, their mucky feet yesterday after playing in db's garden all day, there grubby faces after eating dn's chocolate birthday cake and the fact that no matter what i do their hair is always a mess.
apparently dd2 is spoiled and that is why she is struggling to settle at school because she is used to getting all the attention all the time (my eye I am far too lazy for that).
anyway cnt beat a parent for making you feel bad. I quite like the contridiction though. anything good is all them (which it is and am very proud), anything bad is all me.

Maryz Sun 03-Jul-11 18:17:00

Not one of my children have ever owned a vest (apart from the baby ones with the poppers between their legs [proud emoticon]. They were often dirty (more often mud than chocolate for ds1, more often chocolate than mud by the time number 3 came along grin).

I think you should just carry on (though I hope dd2 settles at school sad). You do realise that is what mothers are for, to make us feel bad!

hugeleyoutnumbered Sun 03-Jul-11 18:23:00

mother's come out with some real gems don't they? grin I am all for grubby kids means they've had great day, we don't do vests either looks like mine are doubly neglected wink

Becaroooo Sun 03-Jul-11 18:25:33

dirt=fun smile

Becaroooo Sun 03-Jul-11 18:28:17

My ds2 (2) is currently covered in the following;
water - from "painting" the fence
sand - from sand pit
paint - from crafting
strawberry juice - from his pudding
vasoline - he just loves the bloody stuff

The bathwater is going to be a VERY funny colour tonight!!!!

openerofjars Sun 03-Jul-11 18:33:56

DS is drinking tomato soup from his cup. He put it there, he can drink it. I am mumsnetting from the sofa. I am deciding whether to wipe his face or just throw him into the bath later on...

Oh hang on, he's licked himself clean.

ditavonteesed Sun 03-Jul-11 18:48:06

I am also mad and going to be unable to cope with
dc's - we seem to be just fine
chickens - had for 3 years and we also seem to be doing fine
dog - again all going very well
a wood burning stove - not got one but want one, apparently it will be to much hard work for me.
another dog - going to keep that one to ourselves until we get it
cant remember what else but basically most of the plans I make and chat through with mum, think I am starting to learn my lesson here.
only having a moan really, mu is lovely and helps me out loads.

anyway sounds like my children are cleaner than all yours (just got out of the bath).

Tee2072 Sun 03-Jul-11 19:15:29

Before his bath my 2 year old was covered in

Maple syrup
Dirt
Apple sauce
Red sauce

It was like I was making baby soup, not giving him a bath!

Fecklessdizzy Sun 03-Jul-11 19:23:16

Mine have just come in from bashing each other about with a giant cardboard tube in the garden so we have sweat, mud, blood and tears ( smallest one got a bit of a wallop ) and chocolate ( to cheer him up again )

If I leave them for long enough it will dry and drop off ... smile

Vests!? The woman's mad, ignore ...

wigglesrock Sun 03-Jul-11 19:36:07

Oh vests, don't start me on my mum and mil on vests. According to my mum I can be too strict with mine yet she constantly says how well behaved and good natured they are hmm And while we're on subject of the backhanded compliment grin mine told me that she really admired "my lack of ambition" ie how I was happy with my house, job etc and hadn't made the same mistake as her and my dad of "overreaching" re the area I had chosen to live in.

ll31 Sun 03-Jul-11 19:37:37

never once seen point of vests... weird garment - never used in my house!!

swallowedAfly Sun 03-Jul-11 19:41:18

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