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Need advice and fast

(20 Posts)
AnyNameNotTaken Sun 03-Jul-11 09:38:57

I have name changed for this but I am a regular (Calpol threads, Penguin date, Moldiegate)....

I have two DSs the youngest is 10 (almost 11) and has just gone up from Cubs to Scouts.
He went to Scout-about last weekend (5000 scouts and Guides) the day before he went he said he hoped he was not going to be in the same tent as X because X was an idiot and had gotten in to my sons sleeping bag on another camp.

Yesterday DS2 told me that on Scout- about X and some other boys were playing truth or dare, DS2 was told if he paid them money he did not have to play so he gave them his camp money,

One of the boys of the boys dared X to suck the penis of another boy and he did DS2 saw all this.

Now DS2 on the whole is a honest child, he is not one to make up stories.
He is also very aware of what is unacceptable

I am shocked. I don't know where to start with this, scout leaders? Parents? Something has to be said, I do not want DS2 with these boys again.

DS2 assures me that he was not touched in any way and I know children are curious about there own and each others bodies but these are 12 year old's and it is just not right.

Where do I start, please advise as I really do not know where to start

fedupofnamechanging Sun 03-Jul-11 09:45:31

I think the scout leaders is a good place to start, they need to know about this and they will have more knowledge maybe on what to do next.

I'd stop my child going on these trips until it has been sorted.

Sorry I'm not more help - just didn't want to leave you unanswered

MorelliOrRanger Sun 03-Jul-11 09:49:10

Yes I'd agree talk to the scout leaders first off. They will need to be aware that these sort of things are going on.

Also mention about the money as that is stealing.

kreecherlivesupstairs Sun 03-Jul-11 09:49:17

It sounds to me as if X has appropriate boundary issues or just wants a lot of attention.
Speak to the Scout leaders about it. Aside from that, I don't know what else to suggest.

AnyNameNotTaken Sun 03-Jul-11 09:50:04

Thank you, I have to go out quite soon but will be back this evening,

AgentProvocateur Sun 03-Jul-11 09:51:41

Both my DS have gone through the scouting system, and I have helped out over the years. There is a robust child protection policy in place and your first port of call should definitely be the leaders.

There are really two issues - taking your DS money (which will be dealt with internally, but severely) and the willy sucking, which will probably go further - the boys parents will probably be called in for a start.

Please talk to the leader as soon as possible, so that it's not forgotten about over the summer. Good luck.

AnyNameNotTaken Sun 03-Jul-11 09:53:20

I am not fussed about the money TBH I am more worried that..

A I do not want them touching DS2
B It is (in my eyes) abuse of the boy
C What the hell goes on in Xs house for him to thing this is acceptable

DS2 is worried if I talk to the leaders the boys will pick on him sad

MorelliOrRanger Sun 03-Jul-11 09:59:23

Read your last post - those point would be enough for me to talk to the leaders whether my child was worried or not.

You can mention to the leaders that your son is worried he'll get bullied now.

I feel for you - poor little X

SecretNutellaFix Sun 03-Jul-11 10:07:45

Scout leaders first off.

They must question the boy who issued the dare closely- perhaps even speak to his school to see if there are any concerns there.
Is it the same boy who blackmailed DS2?
The scout leaders also need to give DS2 back the money that was taken from him.

X must also be questioned and the boy whose penis he sucked. Plus all concerned parents.

From what I know of you and your DS, he wouldn't make something like this up- if he hadn't seen it I doubt if he would even think of it as a possibility, not at ten.

EricNorthmansMistress Sun 03-Jul-11 10:19:17

It is a child protection issue and the scouts need to deal with it as such. The child clearly has boundary issues and someone needs to find out why. The scouts need to put things in place to improve supervision and protect the children.

bubblesincoffee Sun 03-Jul-11 10:25:33

You need to be talking to the scout leaders, urgently.

The money thing is important too, so you should talk about that as well. It may be a small amount, but that's not the point. Your ds was basically intimidated into handing it over - he shouldn't have had to pay truth or dare anyway if he didn't want to.

The CP issue is obviously more serious, for your ds and x, but both are issues.

You need to insist that ds1 and 2 are kept away from these boys.

bushymcbush Sun 03-Jul-11 10:30:50

You definitely need to talk to the scout leaders. And if they brush it under the carpet, I'd go to SS.

AnyNameNotTaken Tue 05-Jul-11 11:13:20

Sorry for not getting back before to update.
Have spoken to leader and it is going to be looked in to.

It would seem X has some issues and may have some SN so the scout leader was more worried by the boy making the dare to X to do as X may not have the best judgement in the world sad.

I do not really know any of the boys involved as DS2 has only just gone up to Scouts from Cubs.

The leader also spoke to DS2 who I think was very brave and again repeated what had gone on without changing his story or getting flustered, scout leader agrees that DS2 is a truthful child. (I almost wish he was telling a bag fat lie I think It would have been preferable) I feel quite sad for X TBH

Will let you know any outcome, thank you for advice

RunAwayWife Mon 05-Sep-11 11:52:51

Found it

RunAwayWife Mon 05-Sep-11 11:53:41

update

Safeguarding Wed 07-Sep-11 11:24:07

The safety and welfare of young people is of paramount importance to the Scout Association, clearly there are some issues in this thread that give cause for concern. Details of our safeguarding policy can be found at......
www.scouts.org.uk/safeguarding
or advice can be sought directly from the safeguarding team at safeguarding@scouts.org.uk.

Mitmoo Wed 07-Sep-11 11:28:19

The child who told has been punished going by another thread, in the same way the children involved in "the game" were but the thread has now been removed where that was being discussed.

porcamiseria Wed 07-Sep-11 11:31:05

did not another thread start on this?

fior some reason I find this whole story very disturbing and something does not sit right with me about this

call the NSPCC and dont post here IMO

Safeguarding Wed 07-Sep-11 11:35:48

I would encourage the original poster, AnyNameNot Taken, to contact the safeguarding team at the Scout Association, they have a very clear process for dealing with this type of concern.

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Wed 07-Sep-11 13:34:00

This EXACT thing happened to my dh at cub camp when he was a couple of years younger! A boy put his willy in another boys mouth and everyone crowded around watching. Apparently one poor leader had the job of knocking on all the parents doors when they got back to explain what had happened.
DH finds it quite amusing if that helps at all.

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