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Am I in the wrong here?

(67 Posts)
redrollers Sat 02-Jul-11 17:25:54

So we just get back from hols this morning,all very tired, and I am feeling particularly shit because I think I have throat infection. But I managed to get DS out of the car and into bed, and 3 suitcases out of the car. DH put on half a load of his own clothes into the washing machine

Anyway DH just asked could he take my phone out of the charger, because he was going out, his was dead. So an hour later, he starts screaming and shouting because it wasn't actually turned on.
Now I can understand it's a bit of a pain in the arse, but is it my fault?

TBH, there is a bigger story and I actually think he's lost the plot.

I had also booked a cab for him and he had a fit because it took me one minute to tell him that the cab was outside after they sent a text message.
He's gone off ranting, and now sending me messages about how I'm not sick, basically accusing me of lying because I didn't want to go out tonight.

BooBooGlass Sat 02-Jul-11 17:29:11

WHat a dick

bubblesincoffee Sat 02-Jul-11 17:30:03

I think you are right about there being a bigger story!

Holidays can be hard for some families, what with having to fit in with everyone else the whole time. How was the holiday?

Sarsaparilllla Sat 02-Jul-11 17:30:25

He's being a freak

PamBeesly Sat 02-Jul-11 17:30:58

He BU, what the f is wrong with him??

Madlizzy Sat 02-Jul-11 17:37:55

Tell him to come back when he's finished acting like a 4 year old.

redrollers Sat 02-Jul-11 17:59:32

Holiday had it's good moments, but we had a fundamental problem that ds got on his nerves.
He can't relax or chill out and ds's behaviour can be a bit tiresome( nothing major) and he has a real lack of patience. He also can't seem to function as a family. i.e do things for other people.
E.g. We come back to the apt one day, ds is dripping wet, getting cold(ac) needs clothes and lunch and entertaining so he doesn't annoy dh. In the middle of me doing lunch, he is trying to phone room service for himself, check phone, emails and facebook, and then makes a cheese toastie in a pan, leaves it, gets annoyed when I burn it, throws his blackberry.
Oh and then tells me that it's his work that paid for the holiday!

And god forbid I should point out that I might have a bit of a complaint here, that he might be being a tad unreasonable.
No,he cannot take any criticism
He can't see for one second that he might be in the wrong, who thinks like that.

And god forbid I should

PamBeesly Sat 02-Jul-11 18:39:36

Redrollers he is a very unreasonable, horrible man from the scenario you described, and clearly violent if he throws his blackerry, he has quite a temper, your ds is a child, and should be allowed be a child, and shouldn't have to worry about getting on his fathers nerves. I'm very sorry for you, you have a lot to put up with, he should not be allowed to continue like this. He is so selfish that he doesn't care that he makes a situation tense for you and ds. I hope you find the strength to stand up to him because the way he is now, he doesn't derserve the family life he has.

glassescase Sat 02-Jul-11 18:42:49

Doesn't sound like he wanted to be on holiday, and now he is off out the minute you get back. Selfish, IMO.

Sirzy Sat 02-Jul-11 18:43:58

You are certainly not in the wrong.

iMemoo Sat 02-Jul-11 18:46:30

Is he Ds's dad?

tazmin Sat 02-Jul-11 18:46:58

how old is the child

ENormaSnob Sat 02-Jul-11 18:47:48

He is a cunt

molemesseskilledIpom Sat 02-Jul-11 18:48:00

Jesus Christ.

He sounds vile, bad tempered, untrustworthy around ds, selfish, childish and treats you like shit. Blaming you for not switching the charger on? Come on, get a grip.

I'm sure there is something much bigger than this, but you are definatly not in the wrong here.

AgentZigzag Sat 02-Jul-11 18:48:53

How horrible for you to have to constantly try to keep your DS amused and away from his own dad for fear of annoying him.

YANBU.

Sounds like the man has had too much done for him over the years and thinks he's now entitled to it.

Don't take responsibility for his shitty behaviour, or play along with his tantrums.

I really feel for you, you sound trapped.

JamieAgain Sat 02-Jul-11 18:49:24

He's obviously behaving in a really selfish unreasonable manner. How long has he been like this? It sounds as if he's simmering with anger. If it's fairly new behaviour he may be depressed (anger can be the first sign), but whatever, he needs to talk to you about what his problem is like an adult.

exaspomum Sat 02-Jul-11 18:50:04

Might he have asperger's with his inability to take other people into account?

Jaspants Sat 02-Jul-11 18:50:45

You are not in the wrong but I think you know that

ivykaty44 Sat 02-Jul-11 18:51:00

I would say that he really should have thought about getting together with a woman with a child before this - but I take it this is his own child?

Communication on a very large scale is needed and some harsh facts about children are for life not just when you like bits [sorry]

Tortington Sat 02-Jul-11 18:52:01

you need to shit under his pillow love

then the miserable cunt cn complain about something tangible

TheOriginalFAB Sat 02-Jul-11 18:52:38

He is a prick and he needs to be taken down a peg or ten.

BrianAndHisBalls Sat 02-Jul-11 18:55:38

In his defence, if he has a very stressful job then I can sort of understand him wanting you to keep the dc quiet while he checks (work) email. I have to work in the evenings sometimes and I find it very stressful trying to work while the dc are around and it makes me very snappy because I feel pulled in two directions and guilty for both having to ignore my dc and guilty for not giving work my 'full attention'.

If it was stuff like facebook/normal email then he should get a life.

AgentZigzag Sat 02-Jul-11 19:01:31

What about him blaming redrollers when he didn't check the phone charger was on Brian?

Stress from work can cross over into homelife, but if it's at this level then something's going to have to give.

When you say you think he's lost the plot redrollers, has he suddenly got worse recently?

I wouldn't blame you not wanting to go out with him tonight, hardly a fun evening.

tazmin Sat 02-Jul-11 19:06:16

wonder if there is another woman on the scene

AgentZigzag Sat 02-Jul-11 19:08:20

Wow, major reading between the lines tazmin, what makes you think that?

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