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Who would you save first, kids or DH?

(123 Posts)
iMemoo Sat 02-Jul-11 15:28:57

I was having one of those random hypothetical conversations with my friend and she said if there was a fire she'd save her DH before her DC because she could always have more kids but there would only ever be one of her DH!!

I would, without doubt, save my kids first because I couldn't live without them and as much as I love DH and Id be gutted if he died, I'd get by ok without him.

supadupapupascupa Sat 02-Jul-11 15:30:01

i always thought it was my job to worry about the kids, and DHs job to worry about me.

SpecialFriedRice Sat 02-Jul-11 15:30:56

I don't have a DP just now but without question I'd save my DD over ANYONE else - Including my mum, sisters etc.

Northernlurker Sat 02-Jul-11 15:32:26

Your friend sounds very odd. Adults can take care of themselves. I would of course save the dds. Frankly if dh attempted to save me first I would kill him myself grin I think he would feel the same if the situation was reveresed.....

lovinme Sat 02-Jul-11 15:33:09

What a strange thing for your friend to say about her children! I would absolutely save my kids first.

Rockerchic Sat 02-Jul-11 15:34:13

What a weird thing to ask someone!

Marne Sat 02-Jul-11 15:34:41

I would save the kids !

TidyDancer Sat 02-Jul-11 15:34:58

I'd save DD and DS first, no doubt. Then my dog. Then DP. grin

Grabaspoon Sat 02-Jul-11 15:35:15

I kind of understand your friends thought process - her and her husband will be together far longer than she will have her children - ie they will move on and she and her husband will stay together etc


I would save the kids first

DogsBestFriend Sat 02-Jul-11 15:35:42

My dogs. grin

thisisyesterday Sat 02-Jul-11 15:36:14

i would save my children first

partly because they're my kids and i just would! but partly because DP has more chance of being able to get out by himself, or if he needs to be rescued he presumably would have more chance of surviving what with being a strapping great lad

iMemoo Sat 02-Jul-11 15:36:31

grin tidydancer

The conversation was prompted by a safety inspection my friend had by the fire brigade. They told her to have an escape plan.

iMemoo Sat 02-Jul-11 15:38:26

Thisisyesrerday, couldnt agree more! Good point.

morethanyoubargainfor Sat 02-Jul-11 15:39:01

IME your friend is not that unusual, i know lots and lots of people whose dh's come first, even before the children. If asked this question they too would say save DH without a doubt.

Personally it would my ds hands down, dh is aware of this grin.

Northernlurker Sat 02-Jul-11 15:39:02

If my husband saved me thinking we oculd have more dcs then no way would I stay with a git like that so he's be out of luck on both counts.

I don't believe your friend anyway, the human instinct to protect children is incredibly strong. Look at what this woman did for a child she had never met.

FancyForgetting Sat 02-Jul-11 15:39:24

DD, without a doubt, and I hope DH would say the same. Mind you, the other day DD and I agreed we would both save our Kindles first - they're new, we're addicted, we were joking (at least, I was.....)!

SydSaid Sat 02-Jul-11 15:41:28

Definitely kids over anyone or anything else.

But there is logic in your friends arguement. Maybe if I find absolutely the right man I'll feel the same way... although if that ever happens, chances are my kids will be all grown up anyway!

Liluri Sat 02-Jul-11 15:41:42

Children first.
I would expect my OH to do the same.

biddysmama Sat 02-Jul-11 15:42:05

i think the other way round... i love my husband but he is (technically) replacable, my children arent..

sparkle12mar08 Sat 02-Jul-11 15:43:14

If I'm truly honest with myself I don't know what I'd do. I'd be utterly torn.

However it is one of the reasons why we have a pretty good escape plan and route for the house - but if it came right down to it we'd throw the kids out of the nearest windows and then try and get out ourselves. Broken bones can be fixed after all.

StealthPolarBear Sat 02-Jul-11 15:43:54

Kids, if I didn't my marriage would be over anyway as he'd never forgive me. Plus I'd expect DH to stand more chance with whatever "it" was, being an adult. Plus, well, I just couldn't do any different.
What a horrible thought though.

Wonder how this fits into the "send our (young) children to boarding school because husband and wife can't live apart" debate...

whomovedmychocolate Sat 02-Jul-11 15:44:11

What a morbid thread. sad

But yes the kids first.

StealthPolarBear Sat 02-Jul-11 15:45:16

tbh I'd probably kill ius all with DS on my back, DD on my hip and pulling DH out of the sinking mud / zombie pit / flaming barn

iMemoo Sat 02-Jul-11 15:46:53

Sorry, it is a bit morbid, just thought my friend was very odd!

electra Sat 02-Jul-11 15:47:21

omg would have to save the kids first no question. OP, I think your friend has rationalised why she would do that but instinct would dictate otherwise if it ever happened. My children, quite appart from the fact I gave birth to them are as all children are more vulnerable than any adult. I couldn't bear to see their little faces as I left them til last! They depend on their parents.

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